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Thread: when reality hits ....

  1. #11
    Originally posted by Jeff:

    I also never minded it and still don't. It kind of lets me know that the real me is still inside me wanting to get out. A lot of people are offended at that statemenet because it implies I have to be AB to be the real me and therefore I feel disabled people are not real people. That couldn't be any further from the truth. I feel pretty damn real. Believe you me. It is just that it's comforting to not have let go of the walking me. I really love and miss the person I was and look forward to being able to express myself again one day in some of those same ways that I could before. Maybe this doesn't make sense to anyone else but it does to me. Wish I could say it better.
    You said it just fine, Jeff. I'm not as articulate as some here (just because it takes me too damn long to type anything), but I read your message loud and clear.

    As a musician pre-SCI one of my favorite things to do was hear new songs on the radio and try and replicate them by ear on the piano or guitar. I used to be really good at figuring out the keys and chord changes & all that. The other day I was listening to the radio and trying to figure out a couple of the songs in my head and thinking, damn I'm out of practice.

    Then it really hit me, I haven't picked up my guitar since 1988, but I still know where the fingers go...

  2. #12
    Originally posted by shanna:

    as time goes does it get easier?

    what do you guys do to keep busy to keep your mind off this?
    Easier? You get more used to it, which makes things easier.

    School and work are two very good ways to pass time for me. Occasionally I will read a book or eight to take myself away, but... In short, keeping busy. Making others feel good. Helping people with their problems.

    Oh yeah, 6 years post in August, pretty close to your age [22].

    Just remember: You are still you.


  3. #13
    Senior Member scaligirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    I.E. - Southern California

    My SCI occurred when I was only 16 yrs old. I remember my 1 year like it was just recent. I had told myself early on after SCI that if I was still in a wc after 1 year, I would kill myself. Well, it's been 11 years now and life is good. I'm working in a career that I love, have a wonderful boyfriend, and have a great circle of family and friends.
    Sure, I still get into those "I hate being SCI" days and "This can't be my life" moments. But the truth of it is....IT IS my life. I don't think we really ever FULLY accept it, but we learn to live with it and go on.
    Things do get easier with time, and you'll realize that there is still alot out there that you are able to do. Life is still full of endless possibilities, but you just have to be willing to get out there and find them. Good luck to you.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Glenelg,Maryland USA
    You need to spend time exercising ,keeping your body in shape for when a cure is found.If no one has told you yet it is good to stand,get someone to build you a standing frame,great for your bones and circulation.You need to figure out what you are going to do with your life.If you were in college when your accident happened,go back to school.If you were working,try to find a job.I am 16 months post injury and i still think it is a bad dream.My doctor feels i need to be seeing a shrink bcause i can't accept being paralyzes and that i can exercise my way back to good healt.Maybe he is right ,but i feel better after when i am working out.Try to do some of the things you would be doing if you were not injured.I have returned to coaching,and it is hell wheeling my chair over the feilds but it is what i would be doing if i was AB.

  5. #15


    I certainly agree with your idea we are just as good as anyone else.I'm post 29 yrs.I tell people if you cannot accept yourself as you are now,then we are prejudice.Believe me i never alway's thought that way and i had as many struggles,more pride,uncertain of who i really was,and numerous other handicap's too numerous to mention.Being in the chair has taught me many thing's,one being,communication.Understanding other's.Patience,And God knows i'm a better person all around now than i was before.There are people who have mental handicaps who need supervision,there are other's whom i would not change places with even though they have "perfect bodies".At least now i know who i am.And i thank God for my strength...It takes time Shanna,and faith.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Los Angeles

    scaligirl is wise beyond her years, if for no other reason than she checked out CareCure on my suggestion. You would do well to pay attention to what she says.

    Hang in there, kid.


    "Don't judge me by my failures, but only by my dreams" (SR-71)

  7. #17

    It definitely gets better with time. I can say that from personal observation of many friends with spinal cord injury. You must not allow the injury to limit your life. Research, in the meantime is proceeding. It is too slow, in my opinion, but there will be therapies that restore function. Live fully.


  8. #18
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Wisconsin USA
    Originally posted by BEN:

    Get on with the buisness of life. You've had a year of self-pity, doubt, and loathing. You were well entitled to it and earned every minute of it!
    I don't think those first 2 years are really about self pity and loathing, Ben. I think for many paralysis is seen as an illness, a disease then. Sometime between year 1 and 3 most people I've talked to go through "the fire". They realize, hey! damn! I'm not sick and this isn't going away. I am disabled. Every so often something puts a match to that door we rolled through and we get burned again. I think as time goes by we learn to go faster or even avoid direct contact with the door but it's still there and very warm. Sometimes, like I think Chris is there now, sitting near the warmth is kind of nice in a very sad way. But most of the time it isn't a good place to hang around for long.

    And as research and cures come our particular door will cool off and we'll be able to go back and forth without the burn. I think there will always be a bit of warmth there though. It's hard to destroy memories and that, I think, is a good thing.

  9. #19
    The hard part for me is waking up every day and realizing that I have to wait on someone for everything. I wait for me caregiver to get me up and out of bed. I wait for her to do my morning routines and feed me breakfast. I wait for my family to do all things I wish I could do for both them and me. It seems that the days are spent waiting for someone to for me the things that I would give anything to be able do. I know people say it gets easier with time but when does "that time" come? After 14 months things seems so complicated.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Sh0rty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001


    thanx everyone, it really helps to hear what you all have to say its nice knowing that in a scence i am not going through this alone

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