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Thread: Some Thoughts

  1. #1

    Some Thoughts

    Recently, joyt posted this for me in New Mobility in reference to a poem I wrote.

    Originally posted by joyt:


    ha! i told you i'd find it!

    Dying To Live

    You know I've heard it said there's beauty in distortion.
    By some people who've withdrawn to find their heads
    Now they say that there is humor in misfortune
    You know I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead

    Why am I fighting to live if I'm just living to fight?
    Why am I trying to see when there ain't nothing in sight?
    Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
    Why am I dying to live if I'm just living to die?

    Hey, you know some people say that values are subjective,
    But they're just speaking words that someone else has said.
    And so they live and fight and kill with no objective.
    Sometimes it's hard to tell the living from the dead.

    Why am I fighting to live if I 'm just living to fight?
    Why am I trying to see when there ain't nothing in sight?
    Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
    Why am I dying to live if I'm just living to die?

    Yeah, you know I used to weave my words into confusion.
    And so I hope you'll understand me when I 'm through
    You know I used to live my life as an illusion,
    But reality will make my dreams come true.

    So I'll keep fighting to live till there's no reason to fight
    And I'll keep trying to see until the end is in sight
    You know I'm trying to give so c'mon give me a try
    You know I'm dying to live until I'm ready ...
    'til I'm ready .....
    'til I'm ready .....
    'til I'm ready to die

    Edgar Winter

    it's a ballad that was written in 1971 by edgar winter. he and his brother johnny are kick-ass blues guitarists from texas. both are albinoes, btw. this song has a great perspective, too.

    While I was reading this, my thoughts turned to this point.... We all will end our trip here one day. Be it in a few days, months or years, it does end.

    Now, I am not trying to be morbid, depressing or mean. It is just that I think we all take so many things we have left for granted. Once before, those of us who were able-bodied took our ability for granted. Now we know how important that ability was. I won't go into detail as to how much it has taken away from us in other ways too, you all know what it is to live with SCI other dis.

    I was thinking also how we don't appreciate so many things we still have. Maybe others don't see things like I do but I will give you my opinion here.

    I wrote a poem titled "We Are". If you read it, you can get some idea of how I think and feel. Life can and is so short and many of us don't seem to see how great it can be at times. Yes, it can be tough too. Very hard and so much heartache. Yet, there are days that can and are so good that it makes up for the bad days and bad times.

    Having had the priviledge of becoming a mom and a grandmother is one of the best things in my life. Whatever else bad has come my way in my life is nothing, compared to what I feel I have gotten with them. My son was born after my sci and that to me was something I thought I would not be able to have. There have been many other things (good things) that have come my way but these have been the greatest ones. I can't say that there have not been times I feel depressed, I have and most likely will have more days like that. Thing is that when I look into the sweet face of my granddaughter and see her smile, my blues can and do go away.

    I feel that we should all make some type of peace within ourselves while we still have the chance. Also, I believe if we linger more on whatever good things we get .. life will be easier to deal with. IMO

    Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share these thoughts with you all.


  2. #2
    Raven, that's beautiful. But I've already made my peace. When my time comes, I'm going to welcome it with open arms.

  3. #3

    Another sentiment

    My younger brother and I are very close. We even look alike even though he is 10 years younger than me. He is also a very gifted poet. Here is a poem he wrote me after my accident.

    Me and You

    One more day for the sake of love
    The careless paying for forgiveness
    With all of the losses in the way
    We need inspiration to come into play
    Looking for answers kind and caring not enough

    Gazing upon your strong will
    Wanting to lighten your load
    Wishing I could rise above and swallow the pain
    Now I listen with no reply
    Missing some part of me inside
    Finding myself wondering why nobody knows

    The rest of the day for the sake of you
    Keeping the demons at bay
    Forever and always defending your truths
    The tenacious circling birds of prey
    With the likeness of you

    I am not asking for all of the days
    Just one more will do
    I just want one more with you

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