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Thread: Life is shitty

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001

    Life is shitty

    Just let me vent!
    Sometimes, life is just shitty. I'm just having a rough go of things lately, and I wonder, do I ever get a break? Why does everything always have to be hard? ARG!!!
    It all boils down to my self-confidence. I feel lousy and I look lousy. This whole weight issue is pissing me off. Why doesn't God just give us all a break and say 'all wheelchair people get to be thin'? I hate shopping because I can't try on clothes at the store and I don't even know what size I am, although I do know that I'm too bloody fat. I hate it.
    I'm waiting for this great inspiration to hit and suddenly I will have the desire to work out. I don't know how to get to this point. How do I make myself care enough? Will it even make a difference?
    Here's my big excuse -- life is just so busy--the kids, the house, the husband. When would I find time to work out, even if I had the desire?
    I hate looking in the mirror because I hate who I've become. I used to be pretty, thin, and all together. Now I'm a fat gimped up person in a wheelchair. I hate me. I hate the lady that ran the stop sign and did this to me. Where is the justice in this world?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Post Falls, Idaho

    Feeling Shitty

    I am able bodied and I feel so fat ( and I am) I have gained 30 pounds since i got married. And I try to get up the motivation to lose weight. I always find excuses to not exercise. It sucks. I guess when I get sick enuff of bing fat I will work-out. I am close to 50 yrs old so I try to justify my weight by that feeling oh "oh what does it matter anyway attitude"....I've fought with my weight my entire life....anyway my husband is a T-4 para and I can tell you
    he has had some bad feelings about his body image..especially his legs. They are so skinny and he says before he got hurt (its been 5yrs now) his legs were huge and muscular. I met him 2 yrs ago so I really can't picute that at all. He wouldnt wear shorts in 90 degree weather he'd have on pants. I convinced him to
    put shorts on, go to the beach and now he wears shorts everywhere, and his skinny legs get tan and he is so handsome...inside and out. He too has gained about 20 or so pounds...but he needed the weight gain...he was way too thin when we met so I fattened him up...unfortunattely I also fattened myself up... You must be kinder to are the same person and I'm sure those around you see and feel your worth and your beauty everyday. Sometimes i look at my husband so young (34 yrs old) and I think about that crappy SHITTY day when he got hit in the head with a an oil-rig drill collar and I see what that has done to his body and it makes me sad, and mad, and finally just glad he's still here for me to love!!! Be strong!!!!!

  3. #3
    Hi Katem, I have body image issues too, only because I'm too thin. I envy those quads especially who are somehow able to maintain a normal body weight and normal muscle tone. I met a quad the other day who looked great, kind of like Scorpion, or Chris, who simply look like seated healthy AB's. I understand why I don't look that way but I felt a little embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't. I've only, within the past 4 years or so, been able to look at myself in a full lemgth mirror and be ok with what I see. I think it's a growth process, learning to like or at least accept what you can't change.

  4. #4


    I have abusing my body with food in the past yr. My life is so stressful, that I don't have time to count calories! I don't feel comfortable either, so I just ignore it! Of course, life goes on. We aren't all size 4. You need to realize that! And for people who make fun of over weight people, they are loosers and their self esteem is more than likely worse than anyone who is overweight!!

  5. #5
    Keeping down the weight is a big problem for SCI because it's so hard to exercise. I used to live in a city and walk *everywhere*. Now I couldn't exercise even if I wanted to. Add to that I have a PCA who is always pressuring me to eat. I don't think she understands the problem we SCIs have. Mealtimes are a constant battle, and I have threatened to stop eating entirely on more than one occasion.

    I really get depressed looking in the mirror too. Couldn't do it at all the first two years after my injury without crying. Because of my level injury I have these really overdeveloped neck muscles which make me look like I have a double chin no matter what the rest of me looks like - REAL attractive.

    Shoulda gone the Sid Vicious route - "live fast, die young, live a pretty corpse."

  6. #6
    Whew... I just read what I posted and boy do I sound whiny. Guess you weren't the only one who needed to vent.

    Kate, is there a nutritionist in your area you could maybe consult about healthy diet? Just wondering.

  7. #7

    I feel the same way about my weight also

    From Nov. 2000 to OCT. 2001 I went froma size double X to a size 10. I worked my butt off (literally). My accident occured Oct. 19. I continued to lose weight after my second surgery on Dec. 15, 2001. Then my rehab doctor took me off coumadin on May 15, 2001 which led to blood clots all over my body. By June 2001 I balloned to 200 pds. I still haven't got rid of all the water as I have to wait for new veins to grow. I've ordered an ellipital trainer, harness, and my fiance is going to built a hoist. Maybe the excercise will help to move the excess water.


  8. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    North Caldwell, N.J.

    re:life is shitty

    Try going on the Weight Watchers Sensible
    Points Diet. A friend photocopied the book
    which lists the point value of foods for me
    and another gave me a conversion chart from
    Weight Watchers which will give the point
    value of packaged food when you check the
    nutrition facts on the package. I have lost
    20 lbs in 3 mos so far. It takes time but it
    works. I am a C5/6 quad and cannot exercise

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Boca Raton, Florida, USA


    I try to incorporate it into my daily life. For instance, I used to push my wheelchair to work. The only problem is, the dorks in the community decided to do road construction and tore up the sidewalk for a year. It's really not fair, you know? Cars should NOT have the right of way over pedestrians and their's SO ANNOYING. A car is the reason that I ended in in a stupid wheelchair. Yup, it's the "American Way" Everybody drives their own little box around from place to place....

    Eric Texley

  10. #10
    I have problems with my new look now too....but I had problems with self esteem before too. It's such a constant battle. I try not to overeat (get the snacks/junk put where I can't reach), and my caregivers try to force more food on me too. Thankfully I have the time to go to the gym, and play rugby now. Try to find some time for yourself! I've also thought that having a slimfast for one meal a day would be a good idea too. I just haven't gotten around to it. Maybe go get a nice new haircut or something to make yourself feel better.

    "Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't."
    --Melody Beattie, writer and counselor

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