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  1. #1

    I guess that attitudes matter

    This is a funny joke that a good friend recently sent.

    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG and CATS DIARY

    Day 180
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    Day 181
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    Day 182
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

    DAY 183
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
    mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
    Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

    DAY 184
    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
    while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of
    the stairs.
    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
    once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must
    try this on their bed.

    DAY 185
    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt
    to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
    into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
    little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

    DAY 186
    I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I
    was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
    burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could
    invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
    between my teeth.

    DAY 187
    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
    in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
    smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More
    importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power
    of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    Day 188
    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
    He is obviously a half-wit.
    The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
    them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
    current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
    But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

  2. #2
    Soooooo true, Wise! And only those of us with dogs and cats really understand!!

    I thought it might be interesting for the members to classify themselves as a dog or a cat. Me, I'm definitely a dog. DA on the other hand,---------well.

    _____________
    Tough times don't last - tough people do.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Good one, Dr. Y

    I agree w/marmalady. Having cats and dogs, I find that I'm half of both. I can be playful and outgoing and love everything about life. But then, I want to curl up in a dark, secluded corner and convince myself that the world is out to get me. I guess it has a lot to do w/what time of month it is as well.

  4. #4

    well if we are being honest here....

    hmm well I guess I can admit naaaa I just can't admit it.. that I am like a, like a...naaa never mind!! I have to go check the fish tank now I let the algae grow up around the sides. just could not stand them when they kept lookin' at me!! one of these days i'll catch them in the act then they will see.....

    hee hee

  5. #5

    JEEZ MARCOMO!!!

    You would think that there was no laundry to do or something!!LOL Have a nice day.

  6. #6
    Senior Member DA's Avatar
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    marmalady a what????????????


    i have 5 dogs 2 cats so i know. i like the one about cats in egytian times was thought to be gods. and after 5 thousands years they haven't forgotten that. soooo true.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    Oh boy! Laundry! My favorite!

    (That is my best impression of a dog!) Actually when I arrived home, it was ALL done. So I've been watering my flowers and goofing off. My house is all clean and no groceries need to be bought. Life, at the moment, is great.

  8. #8

    Hmmmmm.....

    When I got home someone had jacked my garage open and turned on the lights in there. Me being the bopper that I am ran like hell to my neighbor- a burly guy. He went in...I have decided that whoever did it just went in to throw more laundry in my laundry room. Only thing I can think of...

    HI DA, Having a good day???

  9. #9
    Senior Member DA's Avatar
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    no mary...im bored.
    i wish i was woman so i can have something to do, like the laundry.


    onk onk

  10. #10

    DA says......

    "i wish i was woman so i can have something to do, like the laundry."

    Mary, please bop him on the head!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DA, you might want to invest in kevlar.

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