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Thread: www.aaaugh.come

  1. #1



    Accident Reports
    The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible:

    Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

    I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

    I collided with a stationary car going the other way.

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

    In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

    I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

    As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

    My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb when I struck him.

    The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.

    I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

    The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

    fo0r more funnies go to
    have a great day.....

    "Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't."
    --Melody Beattie, writer and counselor

    [This message was edited by Emi on Mar 02, 2002 at 12:40 AM.]

  2. #2
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Los Angeles


    "Life's a bitch, but I love her."

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