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Thread: For the Texans amongst us

  1. #1

    For the Texans amongst us

    For the Texans amongst us, from TurtleKort:


    Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"


    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.

    If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

    Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

    You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.

    A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

    Texas has 5 seasons (Summer twice):

    Spring, April 5 to April 15
    Super Summer, April 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
    Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
    Fall, Oct 15 to Dec. 15
    Winter Dec. 15 to April 4

    The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then テつ*it stops
    totally....sometimes. テつ*(West Texas)

    Onced and Twiced are words.

    It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

    Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

    Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.

    Coldbeer is one word.

    People actually grow and eat Okra.

    When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will テつ*survive.

    Green grass DOES burn.

    When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog.
    City テつ*people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

    The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple
    of weeks.

    When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the
    doctor.

    Fixinto is one word.

    A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for テつ*irrigation.

    Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.

    You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

    You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

    Texans will laugh harder at this than anyone else because we all KNOW these facts are true!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    5,896
    Thanks, Wise!

    I miss Texas...

    ~Rus

    "We are not brave because we are free. We are free because we are brave." ~ Rich Ward (Stuck Mojo / Sick Speed)

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