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Thread: Fear of Retaliation from Nursing Home Complaint

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    Can you move her to a different facility?
    Is there a state-run ombudsmen program in WA state as there is in SNFs in CA?
    Who is paying for her care?
    Have you met with the administrator & director of nurses?
    Have you reported to the state agency which is responsible for SNFs?
    We tried looking at a couple of other places and none of these places said they had openings. So we put her down on the waitlist for some at the moment. Some of these nursing homes don't even respond when we ask. Medicaid is also paying so I am not sure if that makes it more extremely difficult to find a place for her. It was a bit challenging to find this one. And we are also a bit limited in the sense that it has to be close for my dad since he goes there every day. This place is not too close, but close enough. We really just want her to be home. But need to see how many hours she will get, find caregiver, etc.

    I did go online and see that there is a state run ombudsmen. So I may give them a confidential call to start.

    I met with the exec director when I was there visiting about a month ago. The whole place is in flux, so there was no director of nurses when i was there. She recently had the interim one come over to see my dad. My dad has just lost hope and says why talk to her if she is just temporary. It will go nowhere. We had a 1.5 hour long meeting with the social worker a few weeks ago addressing all our concerns, and about a week ago she sent a note that her days are now reduced. And then we have not heard from her since.

    I feel like whomever we speak with jots notes and then it goes in a black hole.

    I have not reported anything yet. I really keep thinking that if we bring this up, it will get fixed. And again back to fear of my mom getting less help or they doing bad things to her because of our complaints. If her stay here was temporary I may not worry as much. But being that it may be quite long term, I worry about how they will treat her, if some are already mean at night.

    Maybe not a great comparison, but I recall something happening at daycare once to my child and reported it to the state. The daycare fixed the issue ASAP. And it cost them money to do it, but they knew they had to in order to be compliant. After that complaint I could feel how we were treated differently. If I brought something up, I could feel they were very ingenuine. They definitely held it against us. My child was just a baby at that time so I did not know what would go on in the daytime, but for awhile he was sick every other week.

    So I worry about my mom if we complain at that level. My mom has limited English. She can't really see what's going on if she is laying in bed etc.
    Last edited by rainingblue; 10-14-2019 at 04:23 PM.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Tetracyclone View Post
    One was a mental health challenge, although i do not know who would NOT suffer mental health problems living in a nursing home. She studied the nursing home regulations and filed repeated complaints. It is the only way to force change on behalf of a resident and, while some workers might try to retaliate that is against the law and one files yet another grievance and that person gets fired. The workers know this, or should.

    Onr last suggestion- get your mom a camelback water sack. It can be placed by her pillow at night and all she must do is turn her head to suck on the mouthpiece.
    My mom is kinda in that state of a mental health challenge. Some stems from even before her accident. So it makes some things alot harder.

    I will have to look deeper into filing complaints because I think that may be the only next route. My emails and communication to the exec director is not doing much. I would not know who to file a grievance against a certain person though (except for the nasty one that came in and declined her water). I feel like because there is no one in charge (they let go of people and possible those people were never doing their jobs to begin with), it's like wild animals running around doing what they want to do. Kinda like kids with a substitute teacher.

    And it really is mainly at night where we have the issue. In the daytime my dad is there all day, so he's watching them and sometimes needs to tell them what to do.

    And thank you for the camelback idea! Will def need to figure out how to mount that to her bed and give it a try. She has no rails on the side of her bed but maybe it can go on the headboard somehwere. I looked into a fleximug too but that thing is like $100+!

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Gearhead View Post
    I really admire your dedication to your parents. You are doing the right thing, stay strong, don't give up. I wish I could be helpful with your situation.
    Thank you for the encouragement. I wish I could do more for them, but hard being 2,000+ miles away.

  4. #14
    Your complaint would be against the facility, although you can name names if you know them. More important to detail dates and times or shifts if possible. You & your dad should be keeping a detailed log.
    The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

  5. #15
    My heart goes out to you. My wife spent 3 months in a nursing home 10 years ago. Every day was a battle for humane treatment. We eventually won the war and went home. This year my wife needed a 30 day rehab program after a setback. We wound up in a wonderful facility, we kept wondering about the hiring techniques which resulted in aides who knew exactly what pt's were prescribing, and actually were sweet human beings very willing to help and communicate. Maybe look for another treatment facility.

    I wish my cousin was still alive. He was a crew leader for a NJ mafia family, a murderer but nice guy. He would have happily ironed out any problems you are having with this facility.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Leeds, AL USA
    The state Representative for the district the facility is located in, might be someone you could reach out to. Politicians love publicity. Having him/her visit your mom would be a feather in everyone's hat, except the facility. Nursing home abuse is high on the list for a lot of states.
    Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway
    Steve Mcqueen (Mr Cool)

  7. #17
    Unless your mother is paying out of pocket, I seriously doubt the situation will get better. Where was your mother staying before this nursing home? Is there no way to have her home, with family or at least other trusted people?
    From the time you were born till you ride in a hearse, there is nothing so bad that it couldn't be worse!

    All fringe benifits must be authorized by Helen Waite, if you want your SCI fixed go to Helen Waite!

    Why be politically correct when you can be right!

  8. #18
    Senior Member tprewitt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    OFallon, MO, USA
    Never threaten anyone, it makes you the prime suspect if any harm comes to that person(s).
    Quote Originally Posted by ancientgimp View Post
    What about your mom having an air pulse mattress. My wife recently spent time in a short term rehab facility and they provided this after some negotiation. It might meet your mom's needs. She might not then need to be turned by some overworked, under trained, maybe aide. I really think you may need to let the nursing home know you have a lawyer and if something bad happens they will see you in court. The administrators of the facility may be more easily intimidated by you and as to the unmotivated, perhaps uncaring aide you may want to confront that person and let her know bad things can happen to people at the end of their shift in a dark parking lot

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