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Thread: How to engage with someone in another discussion forum

  1. #1

    How to engage with someone in another discussion forum

    I am part of a totally unrelated forum, discussing philosophy. A person with a serious brain injury has joined in our discussions. She is intelligent and well-read, but comes across as argumentative and dogmatic in what she believes. Every response to what someone else says sounds like: 'that's fine if you believe that, but ...' and then she goes on to argue the flaws of their beliefs. And a few times, she's said, 'why is everyone arguing with me, when all I am doing is ...'

    Many people have stopped engaging this person. I have tried to continue, and to stear the discussion towards facts and trying to remind this person - and myself - that we all have different ways of seeing things, but this is not working, and they continue to insist on everyone being in agreement with how they see things.

    I'm wondering then, does anyone have any advice for how I might best continue to interact with her? Or, is it simply best not to engage her at all? (which seems a bit like turning my back on this person.)

    Best, DKF.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by dkf View Post
    I am part of a totally unrelated forum, discussing philosophy. A person with a serious brain injury has joined in our discussions. She is intelligent and well-read, but comes across as argumentative and dogmatic in what she believes. Every response to what someone else says sounds like: 'that's fine if you believe that, but ...' and then she goes on to argue the flaws of their beliefs. And a few times, she's said, 'why is everyone arguing with me, when all I am doing is ...'

    Many people have stopped engaging this person. I have tried to continue, and to stear the discussion towards facts and trying to remind this person - and myself - that we all have different ways of seeing things, but this is not working, and they continue to insist on everyone being in agreement with how they see things.

    I'm wondering then, does anyone have any advice for how I might best continue to interact with her? Or, is it simply best not to engage her at all? (which seems a bit like turning my back on this person.)

    Best, DKF.
    Maybe try to send her a couple private messages to let her know that you agree with something she said and would like to discuss her view further. In a one on one discussion, you might be able to give your impression as to how/what should be civil and inclusive discussion of all views.

    You are a nice and sensitive person to what to include a difficult forum member and not just blow her off as a crank.

    Good luck

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by dkf View Post
    I am part of a totally unrelated forum, discussing philosophy. A person with a serious brain injury has joined in our discussions. She is intelligent and well-read, but comes across as argumentative and dogmatic in what she believes. Every response to what someone else says sounds like: 'that's fine if you believe that, but ...' and then she goes on to argue the flaws of their beliefs. And a few times, she's said, 'why is everyone arguing with me, when all I am doing is ...'

    Many people have stopped engaging this person. I have tried to continue, and to stear the discussion towards facts and trying to remind this person - and myself - that we all have different ways of seeing things, but this is not working, and they continue to insist on everyone being in agreement with how they see things.

    I'm wondering then, does anyone have any advice for how I might best continue to interact with her? Or, is it simply best not to engage her at all? (which seems a bit like turning my back on this person.)

    Best, DKF.
    In my experience, there are always going to be certain people that don't care that you see things differently. I've been blocked by people on this forum because they didn't want to have a civil discussion. But I think you should certainly try what gjnl suggested. Good luck.

  4. #4
    Senior Member pfcs49's Avatar
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    NW NJ ***********T12 cmplt since 95
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    I have to wonder if the brain injury isn't the problem.
    A friends wife had a brain injury and now she is obsessive about decisions and stands she will take to the point of driving him near crazy, but it's just what it is now.
    69yo male T12 complete since 1995
    NW NJ

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