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Thread: How do you cope with Sci?

  1. #11
    I'm a c7. I spend 75-90 minutes/day doing sci stuff and the rest of the time I just live and don't think about it.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tim C. View Post
    I sometimes wonder if it had been better to be paralyzed before adulthood so so I never had the opportunity to know how great life could be v. dwelling over the fond memories. It took me 40 years, but I cherished each day with vigor. How ironic was it to then have it instantly stolen from me, to be followed by nothing but even more loss and tragedy.
    Now I find if I don't keep preoccupied, as much as physically can I go insane with frustration and anger over just how stupid it is having to live like this without hope for recovery.
    I see on tv news reports how some people throw their lives away by committing senseless crimes, suicide, etc ,, wishing I could have their spinal cords. Silly?
    Nope. 100% wrong. Broke my neck at 15 gr.10 and I can't listen to a friend/stranger or even my fiancee talk about a relationship/experience they had in their teens/20s without feeling unbearably bitter and angry to the point that I go silent and my mood instantaneously sours to the point that I'm in a bad mood for at least 30-60 min fighting internally to not be bitchy to whomever I'm with. I actually told my financee I'd rather not hear about any past relationships, espec from her teens/20s because I can't help getting angry/sad/depressed/bitter/jealous because I have zero fond/happy memories to share or relate to from those times in my life. I'd give up everything I have in the world to have had even a few happy normal memories to look back on from my teens/20s and not feel like I just watched everyone get to enjoy the funnest times of their lives while I watched it pass me by like a spectator to my own life. Or be stuck with experiences that were hollow shells of what they should have been. It's horrible... trust me... I'd give anything to blank out that time in my life because of it if only to not feel bitter towards others for doing nothing but getting to experience their formative years happily. It makes it incredibly hard to function in an adult relationship in a healthy way. And I feel like a horrible person when I get in that mood around my financee when she makes the most innocent comment or recalls a fond memory and my immediate reaction is bitterness. I honestly fear it'll drive her away some day

  3. #13
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    Definitely see your point RJC.
    Admire you Patton, but maybe if I shared your mobility and no constant pain I'd accept this.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Tim C.'s Avatar
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    Btw, RJC
    Very moving post
    Life not fair , you sound true.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim C. View Post
    Definitely see your point RJC.
    Admire you Patton, but maybe if I shared your mobility and no constant pain I'd accept this.
    There's no doubt the extra mobility helps. It ain't perfect but I'm finding some pockets of peace 30 years into this now.

  6. #16
    The vast majority of the time I hate the existence I have, wait for the day I decide to switch the vent off. Had an amazing life up until the accident at age 54, travelled, had all the toys I wanted and wonderful partner. I miss that life, struggle to maintain that relationship and can't accept this new life. Still have moments when I ignore the shit and just do something like I would. New power wheelchair arrived a few weeks ago, spent time sorting control system out, removed factory limits to get full power acceleration and spent Sunday morning trying to learn to wheelie it. Why a 60 year old high level quad would want to do this I don't understand


  7. #17
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    I have a number of younger SCI friends and it breaks my heart all the things they didn't get a chance to do as an AB.
    BUT, one of them pursues all those things in spite of SCI. Surfing, skiing, travel and so on.

    So I think the big thing about coping with SCI is to move on. Carry the horror of what you lost in your back pocket, but don't spend time daily, weekly or even monthly looking at that loss. Put it away. It won't make things easier or better.

    I told a friend who was having trouble coping that, prior to SCI his life was like a beautiful home that he had built from the ground up, furnish and, over many years, made it perfect for him.

    SCI is when that house burns to the ground and now, with SCI, you are starting with a studio apartment and have to essentially start over and build a new home, a new life.

    SCI ends the life before in a very real sense and as long as you're still looking backwards at that old life, you will suffer.
    So put it in your back pocket, get a job or volunteer but get plugged into places with other people and move forward.

    That's what works for me.
    T3 complete since Sept 2015.

  8. #18
    Senior Member pfcs49's Avatar
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    removed factory limits to get full power acceleration and spent Sunday morning trying to learn to wheelie it. Why a 60 year old high level quad would want to do this I don't understand

    Maybe your parent wouldn't but I'd bet
    you do!
    That looks like fun! Acceleration.......and you're in control! What kid wouldn't want that? Good for you!
    69yo male T12 complete since 1995
    NW NJ

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by mrb View Post
    ... removed factory limits to get full power acceleration and spent Sunday morning trying to learn to wheelie it. Why a 60 year old high level quad would want to do this I don't understand
    I bet every body here understands.
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mize View Post
    I have a number of younger SCI friends and it breaks my heart all the things they didn't get a chance to do as an AB.
    BUT, one of them pursues all those things in spite of SCI. Surfing, skiing, travel and so on.

    So I think the big thing about coping with SCI is to move on. Carry the horror of what you lost in your back pocket, but don't spend time daily, weekly or even monthly looking at that loss. Put it away. It won't make things easier or better.

    I told a friend who was having trouble coping that, prior to SCI his life was like a beautiful home that he had built from the ground up, furnish and, over many years, made it perfect for him.

    SCI is when that house burns to the ground and now, with SCI, you are starting with a studio apartment and have to essentially start over and build a new home, a new life.

    SCI ends the life before in a very real sense and as long as you're still looking backwards at that old life, you will suffer.
    So put it in your back pocket, get a job or volunteer but get plugged into places with other people and move forward.

    That's what works for me.
    said perfectly

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