I get so annoyed with people everywhere (on the sidewalk, in stores, at work, at the grocery store in restaurants, etc, etc, etc) who walk soooooooo slooooooooow. Sure I probably used to walk the same speed as them when I had two functioning legs, but now those bastards are just in the way (feel like I'm channeling Bill Burr here ranting about how the world is overpopulated and there are too many people who seem to do nothing but get in the way).

I live in a very walkable downtown in the southeast (shocking, I know), and I kind of expect walkers to be in the way on the downhills, but y'all know how you've got to maintain a certain speed going uphill or it just gets annoying trying to keep the front wheels from coming up off of the ground with each push, and people tend to get in the way on uphill climbs as well.

Years ago when I was newly injured I used to worry about how normal people viewed me and my new awkward method of ambulating and doing everything (for about three weeks till i said 'fuck it'). It's been so long since I cared what everyone else thinks about me while I get where i need to get that I do sometimes wonder how I come off flying around elderly couples and young children on the downhills and skidding tires around corners (I wonder about it, but still don't care, it's not like I can/am-going-to change anything). I keep getting the image of the weird kid in high school who used to sprint full speed across the quad between every single class, holding onto his backpack straps with both hands to keep it from flapping around... I used to absolutely love when I was responding to codes in the hospital because I could go balls to the walls as fast as I want, grabbing onto handrails to whip around corners, hitting 8 mph or so down congested corridors, zipping around startled phlebotomists pushing their bloody carts, and nobody could get annoyed with me because they heard the code overhead just like I did. It was a weird, but nice, kind of freedom.

Anyway... surely I'm not the only one who gets so annoyed with people walking slowly. Hell, I gotta get stuff done. If i have to spend 2 hours a day in the bathroom more than the average AB, I sure as shit want to ambulate at a comfortably rapid pace to make up a few of those minutes. Normal walking speed is about 3 mph, I figure 5 mph is as slow as I really ever want to go (of course I'll slow down if some ABs are walking with me), it feels inefficient to push more slowly, like I'm spending more calories per miles or whatever (you know what I mean).

Also... "Slow down or I'll give you a speeding ticket" is the lamest joke ever... do people really think they're the first ones to come up with that?