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Thread: Grandparents want newly quad to visit Florida 11 months post accident

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by dee1843 View Post
    Connor has said he wants to go but is worried about his care and that they don't really listen to him.
    I think you know what really is whats best for Connor. Conner is no normal 16 year old anymore. He has been through a shocking event in his life. And he is not going to think it through like an mature adult would.
    And I don't think your ex husband or his parents are very wise or caring. All I see is what they want for themselves. Why are they not looking at what is best for Conner. Like making sure he has appropriate living standards at his house. Asking what financials needs and helping him get it. Making sure the house is fixed up. And appreciating you for stepping up.
    Has the ex or the grandparents been on this site?

  2. #12
    if he is worried about his care then i would also say no. and connor should as well. have his grandparents visit him at home and if they refuse then well they don't want any part inn his life then anyway!
    T6 Incomplete due to a Spinal cord infarction July 2009

  3. #13
    Don't want to come to Florida in August! No matter what your condition...just saying
    "Yesterday's History,Tomorrow's a Mystery"

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by dee1843 View Post
    Connor has said he wants to go but is worried about his care and that they don't really listen to him.
    This seems to say it all. He wants to go, but is worried about logistics. If he's very empathetic, he may be worrying about your emotions too. With his only concerns being care and being listened to, that's easy enough to pro-actively handle.

    Have him come up with a written plan with his doctors or therapists, it must be in writing and signed by the doctor with your name nowhere listed on it, so it removes you from the equation. They can hate you all they want, this list won't be coming from you, it's from their beloved grandson and his doctors. The Grandparents should be presented with his needs written down in black and white so they can also be fully aware of what care needs he has in the event that they will need to provide someone to help out with routine care.

    Let him take the reigns with the doctors as part of the heavy hand in the situation, it removes stress from all parties. (IMO)
    CCS/Walker's a long story

  5. #15
    Follow your gut. Mine says no. Maybe have the ex do a little training? The labor will fall on him. I feel the in-laws are being unrealistic and unkind with the demands., Your son will have to educate them to have adequate care. Maybe he doesn't feel like playing On the Job Training Guinea Pig. Maybe assign them some chores, like researching his injury and current lifestyle. Currently they have no skin in the game, and a newly injured young man is making all the investments. I bet that highway runs both ways.

    I like lavender thistle's idea above. A way to force the clueless into Being invested in the outcome, which better be a great time for you son!

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