Maybe someone else can relate. Most of the time I am ?ok? with being disabled. When shit hits the fan I am not ok with it at all. My dad died on Aug 7th. I knew it was coming, but still. I can?t do what I would want to do in the aftermath. I can?t go on a solo road trip, or go anywhere by myself, really. I would have wanted to go on a walk about. Instead I am in my room, looking out the window. Occasionally I look at nature photos online. I feel so trapped. My condition is degenerative, and it?s taking the use of my hands and arms now. Stress makes it worse, so I am feeling weaker that even a few days ago. To make things even worse (they can always be even worse) my dad died the night before he was to sign paperwork setting up a special needs trust for me. So now it will be years, lawyers will be involved, hopefully I won?t lose my Medicaid, etc. My disability has even infiltrated this. I am so fucking sick of it all.