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Thread: Lodging Dilemma

  1. #11
    I think you need to find a new caregiver, she doesn't seem stable.

  2. #12
    I want to thank everybody for their comments. This has been a really difficult situation for me and I guess I needed some assurance that I wasn't being unreasonable in questioning this.

    As far as the general situation goes it had already started to dawn on me that I might be in big trouble here and might have to do the unthinkable. This is somebody that has been my caregiver for 11 years, and I had already been through a few troubled years with her early on but stuck with her because I had faith in her as a person, and she's always taken good care of me. More importantly, I thought she had grown up a lot and her troubles were behind her. And as I previously mentioned I got to know her wife (who, believe it or not, still lives here but they are now separated not by her decision) and I felt she would be a further stabilizing force in her life. Unfortunately my PCA had other ideas and tore it all down very quickly, leaving this place, and the other two people who live here, in complete shambles.

    She wasted no time in getting involved with somebody else, acting like nothing is wrong in the process, and trying to immediately insert this new person into the situation in place of her wife. I might actually be able to adjust except for the fact that this other person doesn't seem to have much interest in interacting with me, nor was she/is she prepared for the situation.

    Worst of all the "suggestion" that is the subject of this thread strongly suggests to me that this new person isn't particularly concerned for my welfare. And my PCA is in total swoon/obsession mode over this new person which doesn't help. I had thought this kind of behavior was behind her but I was wrong and this time it?s having a much bigger effect on me because I actually live with her now.

    She's probably going to erupt when it occurs to her that I have a real problem with what's going on around here, whether that's whenever I tell her I'd rather not go on this trip under the circumstances or whether I simply confront her with the whole issue. She thinks I'm wonderful (she always tells me stuff like that), is very protective of me, and often says she'll never abandon me no matter what and no matter who. None of that is meaning all that much right now though.

    It's also probably going to send shockwaves through my entire family and cause all manner of trouble.

    I didn't mean to blow this whole discussion up into something else but I guess a crazy suggestion like the one she and her new girlfriend had kinda demands explanation.

    One things for sure, if it wasn't for the need of PCAs life as a quadriplegic would be much easier. Unbelievable.

    C4-C5 Quad since 9/15/85

  3. #13
    Just reading this post you are answering your own question.

    A true caregiver understands work vs vacation and in this case your care is #1st, her love life 2nd!

    Let her plan and do her own trip on her $$$

  4. #14
    Senior Member air ohs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    chatham ont canada
    Do not do it period.

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