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Thread: Seeking social living advice

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Seeking social living advice

    I need a roll in shower, but what I would like most is a social life. I would honor with eternal gratitude anyone with good ideas for helping me achieve this. Meeting single men would be an exquisite bonus, but I don?t want to ask too much of central New Jersey, where I figure I should stay now, due to family (and, I fear, lack of imagination), having failed to stay in the Boston area or move to NYC or Philly or Portland or Seattle in my younger and more mobile days after college (I say this as a cautionary note to young ones near that moment in life, and also that the Princeton Mom was right in her book that college really is the easiest time to meet your mate, but that someday will be a chapter in my book). Sorry, I wander.

    Anyway, ignoring the still niggling fear that I should move somewhere else and try to remake my life, I present to you this crossroads I face: renovate or rebuild my house, or go to some kind of communal long-term care living environment. I am, technically, middle-aged (as much as I still think that best describes my parents) and counting on mad longevity, so life after cure still hangs shining out there, but I need to act now on something.

    I am extremely lucky with good long-term care insurance. So I could renovate/rebuild my house (significantly denting but not depleting my life?s resources) so that I could get my bed out of the living room and entertain people, assuming I somehow manage to meet some, and keep my home care. Or I could go to some kind of assisted living facility. But everything I have seen has mostly older people (of course). I would much prefer to re-create college dorm life.

    So:
    1 ? Is there any kind of long-term care/assisted-living facility with lots of moderately aged people?

    2 ? Does anyone know of any such place, or something else you think I should consider, along the NJ route 1 corridor between say Trenton and New Brunswick? Or if you know the perfect place for me somewhere else, please let me know that.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Random View Post
    I need a roll in shower, but what I would like most is a social life. I would honor with eternal gratitude anyone with good ideas for helping me achieve this. Meeting single men would be an exquisite bonus, but I don?t want to ask too much of central New Jersey, where I figure I should stay now, due to family (and, I fear, lack of imagination), having failed to stay in the Boston area or move to NYC or Philly or Portland or Seattle in my younger and more mobile days after college (I say this as a cautionary note to young ones near that moment in life, and also that the Princeton Mom was right in her book that college really is the easiest time to meet your mate, but that someday will be a chapter in my book). Sorry, I wander.

    Anyway, ignoring the still niggling fear that I should move somewhere else and try to remake my life, I present to you this crossroads I face: renovate or rebuild my house, or go to some kind of communal long-term care living environment. I am, technically, middle-aged (as much as I still think that best describes my parents) and counting on mad longevity, so life after cure still hangs shining out there, but I need to act now on something.

    I am extremely lucky with good long-term care insurance. So I could renovate/rebuild my house (significantly denting but not depleting my life?s resources) so that I could get my bed out of the living room and entertain people, assuming I somehow manage to meet some, and keep my home care. Or I could go to some kind of assisted living facility. But everything I have seen has mostly older people (of course). I would much prefer to re-create college dorm life.

    So:
    1 ? Is there any kind of long-term care/assisted-living facility with lots of moderately aged people?

    2 ? Does anyone know of any such place, or something else you think I should consider, along the NJ route 1 corridor between say Trenton and New Brunswick? Or if you know the perfect place for me somewhere else, please let me know that.
    I've lived in several luxury condos around the country and now just 25-50 miles north of you. These are normal condos consisting of 50% or more of the people ages 60-90, fighting desperately to stay out of assisted living themselves. Communal living is a fantasy, it's every man/woman for himself.

    If you have decent family you can setup a little bit of a utopia with them.

    I know this isn't exactly LTC but it is people who have somewhat of a choice of where and how they want to live. It seems to me like most folks are fighting to stay independent and find fulfillment in life where they can. Most middle age people are dealing with kids at home or in college and are totally engulfed by that.

    Most importantly, I find the older I get (now middle aged) that happiness and contentment/fulfillment are 100% up to me.

    We actually met at one of the Open Houses in New Brunswick in late June 2012.
    Last edited by Patton57; 05-06-2018 at 11:30 AM.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Donno's Avatar
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    Randy, Patton57 has some good points. I'd suggest that you talk to a realtor and tell her just what you are looking for. If you can't find what you are looking for, try another realtor.

    Don xoxo
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 25 years post injury

  4. #4
    Hi Random
    This may seem outta left field but have you considered Florida. There are a lot of communities for people in their 50's such as The Villages. I prefer Fort Myers area but there are a lot of areas with a lot of people that aren't quite retirement age but taking the leap to get away from bad climate.I live in the North now but plan to make "the leap soon" In my vacationing there I have found it quite easy to meet people as many are there checking out the area and considering re locating.Honestly i have met more people there in a month than i have in 5 years where i am. Just a "Random" thought.




    Quote Originally Posted by Random View Post
    I need a roll in shower, but what I would like most is a social life. I would honor with eternal gratitude anyone with good ideas for helping me achieve this. Meeting single men would be an exquisite bonus, but I don?t want to ask too much of central New Jersey, where I figure I should stay now, due to family (and, I fear, lack of imagination), having failed to stay in the Boston area or move to NYC or Philly or Portland or Seattle in my younger and more mobile days after college (I say this as a cautionary note to young ones near that moment in life, and also that the Princeton Mom was right in her book that college really is the easiest time to meet your mate, but that someday will be a chapter in my book). Sorry, I wander.

    Anyway, ignoring the still niggling fear that I should move somewhere else and try to remake my life, I present to you this crossroads I face: renovate or rebuild my house, or go to some kind of communal long-term care living environment. I am, technically, middle-aged (as much as I still think that best describes my parents) and counting on mad longevity, so life after cure still hangs shining out there, but I need to act now on something.

    I am extremely lucky with good long-term care insurance. So I could renovate/rebuild my house (significantly denting but not depleting my life?s resources) so that I could get my bed out of the living room and entertain people, assuming I somehow manage to meet some, and keep my home care. Or I could go to some kind of assisted living facility. But everything I have seen has mostly older people (of course). I would much prefer to re-create college dorm life.

    So:
    1 ? Is there any kind of long-term care/assisted-living facility with lots of moderately aged people?

    2 ? Does anyone know of any such place, or something else you think I should consider, along the NJ route 1 corridor between say Trenton and New Brunswick? Or if you know the perfect place for me somewhere else, please let me know that.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Donno View Post
    Randy, Patton57 has some good points. I'd suggest that you talk to a realtor and tell her just what you are looking for. If you can't find what you are looking for, try another realtor.

    Don xoxo
    I like the realtor suggestion.

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