had to get this out of my mind

[SCI-Nurse]

At T6 you should be able to drive yourself with hand controls. Are you setting this as a goal for yourself, along with moving into your own place eventually? If you are an adult, your father should not be determining what activities you participate in; you might do better with a different caregiver until you can learn to take care of yourself.

I know several RNs who work full-time nursing jobs...clinical nurse specialists, nurse practitioners, nurse educators, patient educators, case managers, and even a couple of staff nurses, with both thoracic and cervical spinal cord injuries. Working towards getting back to work could give you some purpose in your life. Have you met with a vocational rehabilitation counselor and set goals for this?? Here is an organization that may be of assistance to you as well: http://www.exceptionalnurse.com/

Again, I would strongly encourage you to get some counseling with a cognitive behavioral therapist who can help you try to get your life back and set realistic goals for yourself.

(KLD)

[August West]

How about getting a dog? I am training mine to be a therapy dog. She will help people feel better, which is therapy for me.

[paraparajumper]

How about getting a dog? I am training mine to be a therapy dog. She will help people feel better, which is therapy for me.

I was well through my depression once I got my service dog, but he's still the best thing that happened to me since my injury. Quite a bit different than a therapy dog, but nonetheless I can't agree more, they just bring so much joy to your life, not to mention they're a HUGE ice breaker in public, if you're willing to let people interact with your dog like I do. People love dogs, especially well-trained ones, and they seem to all of a sudden forget about the chair and the disability for a moment.

I remember your feelings all too well. The first year does suck, period. It will get better, promise.

[funklab]

I'm still not comfy with going out. My wheelchair is kind of bulky and haven't received my new smaller one yet. I can get over that at times. My biggest obstacle is my dad. He's the one that gets me into the wheelchair van and drives it. He's 76 and having back problems, hernia and is slowing down. So, I don't want to be a burden since it's hard enough with me living with him. My best friend is allowed (by my dad) to drive it. He trusts her but she's super busy so she's only taken me out once. I don't know if I'll walk again. But if I don't I suppose I'll learn more to become more independent and possibly work on driving.

Certainly no reason you can't drive, but it sounds like for some reason or other you feel that you're not at that point yet. Until you are you can always use paratransit. Far from the most convenient of services, it can get you out and going places if you plan ahead of time.

http://www.harfordcountymd.gov/2277/Commute-Accessible

[Rustyjames]

Take a few trips with Paratransit and it will inspire you to drive.

[Podkane]

Lisakaymd:
KLD and all others on this thread have given you sound advice. Im a T 5 incomplete injured when I was 15. Im now turning 65. I've completed an undergraduate and then a masters degree, worked as a Vocational Rehab Counselor for 25 years, full time. Been married twice, still married to second husband, given birth twice, have 2 daughters 32 and 34. My family circumstances were far from ideal, and I pretty much had to fight my way out of neglect and hopelessness at a young age. You can do this! Life is worth it! Start small as others have told you. VR can get you a driving eval, and can pay to modify a vehicle to use for work. Going back to work as a hospice nurse or retraining as a counselor or therapist or using your existing skills in another occupation is not only possible, but necessary. Grieving your loss will take time, as you well know from hospice. But at a certain point the tide turns, and living with the SCI becomes a problem solving challenge and not a tragedy. Take care and keep posting!

[pfcs49]

Lisa-if you're smaller than me (I'm 5'11" 200llbs), I have a spare chair (a Kurschall 3000GT) that might be a fit.
You're welcome to it if it would work for you.
I'm T12 complete. I'm fully independent, and drive myself everywhere. The Kurschall was picked up used 20 years ago and saved as my car chair a long time until I got other chairs. I have house chair, and when I go out, all I have to do is transfer into my car-the "car" chair is on the passengers seat.
I can't tell you how good it felt to get some hand controls and my freedom again after my rehab and short term "imprisonment" at home! And I love my wife, but autonomy is important.
And, trust me: it gets better, one day at a time. Just keep doing the next right thing each day and you may be surprised how extraordinary your life becomes.
Please hear this song:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQlZeWLlhpk

EDIT: my wife does jazz and cabaret. This song echoes my experience and always brings up sadness (and facilitates the grieving which, even after 22 years is still process and not an event)

[nonoise]

...I'm still not comfy with going out. My wheelchair is kind of bulky and haven't received my new smaller one yet. I can get over that at times. My biggest obstacle is my dad. He's the one that gets me into the wheelchair van and drives it. He's 76 and having back problems, hernia and is slowing down. So, I don't want to be a burden since it's hard enough with me living with him. My best friend is allowed (by my dad) to drive it. He trusts her but she's super busy so she's only taken me out once. I don't know if I'll walk again. But if I don't I suppose I'll learn more to become more independent and possibly work on driving. ...

Set driving as a high priority goal. Once you are in the drivers seat cruising down the road, you will feel great. Once I heard people here taking about cars and converted vans I got *real* curious. You may know all this already, but just in case, here is a youtube of how it's done with a car: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KM5qZUmuKU Vans require more conversion adaptations and $$$, but depending on arm strength for transferring one of those may be necessary. I now have to use a converted van as my malady is degenerative. And to tell you a fact, I wish I'd sprung for the lift and auto door years ago.

The problem is that paralysis is inconvenient and expensive and time consuming, but most issues have work-arounds. You are fortunate to have your education behind you. You'll do fine.

[lynnifer]

You'll learn to tune out the 'inspirational quotes' soon. I tended to rely on sarcasm, but that's not always healthy either.

All of the obstacles can be so overwhelming .. but choose just one problem and work on solving it. Then the next, etc. It's all about goals. Set small ones and achieve them.

You said about coding at home .. income is so important so if you can do that, it's a big start!

[Lisakaymd]

T6... however i'm unsure if it's complete or incomplete. I can't feel anything below the waist.... have neurogenic bowel/bladder. I do have pulses and tingles. and if something is touching me or laying on me I will feel deep tingles in that area being touched.