Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Ratio-citolapram

  1. #1
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    18,358

    Ratio-citolapram

    Anyone have experience with this anti-depressant? I started out on half a pill (5mg) for ten years while working at 911 and then upped it under my doctor's supervision to 10mg when I stopped working four years ago.

    I am nothing but downtrodden, depressed and weepy. Pretty sure it's situational and familial (I have a very difficult time with a brother who affects all the other relationships). I'm alone which is great by me most of the time, then I'll have panicky days like today. Was supposed to meet my brother and sister for a birthday lunch but backed out .. not feeling well, plus my dad said he couldn't go through my brother - long story but they are all FUBAR'd. Many years ago, a psychologist told me to write my dad off .. but I can't. I constantly seek his approval and attention and it never comes, nor will it ever. I believe last week, after an argument with my brother, that my dad doesn't really like me or want to spend any time with me. He already admitted to me that he hated another brother I have .. so easy to believe he doesn't like me either. I have to get over that ... I'm not sure how, other than to continue hating men and try to keep that contained so as not to insult new people I meet. It's difficult.

    I'm spending most of my time in bed due to pressure sores. I couldn't get the right equipment two years ago, so didn't get any. I'll need to try again when I have the patience to deal with medical shops.

    Do these things stop working all of a sudden?

    I'm between doctors right now, otherwise I would have just asked him.
    Make America Sane Again. lol

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  2. #2
    I went onto it about 3 months post accident, I'd struggled to cope and asked for vent to be switched off.Spent about a month on it then looking at photos realised all of the ones when I'm on it I'm smiling. I never smile in any photo! It didn't stop me wanting to die but nothing has although it did alter my moods. I decied to stop using it as I didn't want to live in an "artificial"life. Not much help for you if it has worked and no longer does but there are alternatives to try, just follow recommendations for withdrawal!

  3. #3
    Senior Member canuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    BC Canada
    Posts
    2,704
    Yes antidepreseents can stop working after a period of time. When you get a new Dr. get a Psych referral as GP/Family Medicine DR.s don't get very much mental health training.

  4. #4
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    18,358
    Well, I provided myself a treatment already. I put out a call on Facebook, Reddit and Kijiji (similar to ebay in Canada) to spend some time with a horse feeding it treats and perhaps some time with puppers.

    ALREADY, I have an appointment to see 3 horses, a mini donkey and miniature horse sometime this week. Someone on REDDIT, offered up their puppers which were just born last night (we're going to message each other closer to Christmas since I have trouble with that time as well and the puppers will be more independent by then).

    Now I just need to find some time for nature ... if we get a warmish day. I should eat better - lean meats and veggies. My poor diet and inactivity isn't helping lately.
    Make America Sane Again. lol

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I'm spending most of my time in bed due to pressure sores. I couldn't get the right equipment two years ago, so didn't get any. I'll need to try again when I have the patience to deal with medical shops.

    Do these things stop working all of a sudden?

    I'm between doctors right now, otherwise I would have just asked him.
    Haven't had much luck with antidepressants so can't really help there - but I do know that some do stop working and some people have to try different ones (like a few) that work for them, or a combo.

    As for the doc, I recently went through finding one. Apparently if you sign up with Healthcare connect (it's a ServiceON thing) they'll hook you up with a new PCP. And supposedly they work on a priority basis (so you fill out their questionnaire online) and if you have a pile of health issues, you take precedence over people with little to no issues. Worth a shot? If you're picky well it could get you a doc until you can find one that you really click with.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    Well, I provided myself a treatment already. I put out a call on Facebook, Reddit and Kijiji (similar to ebay in Canada) to spend some time with a horse feeding it treats and perhaps some time with puppers.

    ALREADY, I have an appointment to see 3 horses, a mini donkey and miniature horse sometime this week. Someone on REDDIT, offered up their puppers which were just born last night (we're going to message each other closer to Christmas since I have trouble with that time as well and the puppers will be more independent by then).

    Now I just need to find some time for nature ... if we get a warmish day. I should eat better - lean meats and veggies. My poor diet and inactivity isn't helping lately.
    That is the way to get through it, find things to do and enjoy doing them. I was diagnosed with manic depression at 16,spent my life getting through it day by day and always having an OCD hobby I could throw myself into. Can't say it took the depression away but it did give me a different focus. Find it hard now as I can't find things to do, my previous life was sport/motorbikes and fast cars none of which I can do now.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    SF bay area, CA
    Posts
    100
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I am nothing but downtrodden, depressed and weepy. Pretty sure it's situational and familial (I have a very difficult time with a brother who affects all the other relationships). I'm alone which is great by me most of the time, then I'll have panicky days like today. Was supposed to meet my brother and sister for a birthday lunch but backed out .. not feeling well, plus my dad said he couldn't go through my brother - long story but they are all FUBAR'd. Many years ago, a psychologist told me to write my dad off .. but I can't. I constantly seek his approval and attention and it never comes, nor will it ever. I believe last week, after an argument with my brother, that my dad doesn't really like me or want to spend any time with me. He already admitted to me that he hated another brother I have .. so easy to believe he doesn't like me either. I have to get over that ... I'm not sure how, other than to continue hating men and try to keep that contained so as not to insult new people I meet. It's difficult.
    While I know nothing about the antidepressant you're asking about I do know a lot about the toxicity that comes with having a dismissive dad who expressed zero love for me. He and I did this malignant dance: I'd turn myself inside out to gain his approval; he would withhold it; I'd be so crushed, I'd cease communication (he never reached out to me); then I would start stewing that he'd die while we were estranged & make me feel bad so I'd redouble my efforts and start the dance all over again. Rinse and repeat.
    Epilogue: He died 6 years ago while we were estranged. Surprisingly, I didn't feel bad or guilty that I didn't try harder or take more responsibility for our poisonous relationship. I only felt relief that my biggest critic was gone.

    My advice is to protect yourself. You don't deserve this cruel treatment, especially from a parent. It's an unbalanced power dynamic since you're hard wired to crave his attention yet he clearly doesn't follow normal parental protective instincts. Stay away from negative situations. Spend time with people who make you feel good. Family is where you find it.

    Good luck with this daunting pivot. He wrecked my self-confidence (if daddy doesn't like me, I must be unlovable) for decades. He even managed to send a zinger from the grave in the form of his will. The best I could do was keep a large distance, psychologically & physically, between us and constantly remind myself that it is his mental illness that makes our relationship impossible. At first this new attitude seemed so unfamiliar, it felt wrong. As time went on and without being exposed to his negativity, I started to feel better and was able to compartmentalize everything about him and stash it away where it can't hurt anybody. This was very hard and took a bunch of mistakes & regrets but for me, there was no other option. Best wishes. I really feel for you. Would be happy to lend support if you want/need it. I'm just a PM away.

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    18,358
    dragon fly ... that's exactly the kind of advice I need. I need to re-enforce what that psychologist said to me. He worked for police from Michigan to Toronto. He responded to 9/11, New Orleans Katrina and the tsunami in Indonesia on a world-wide response team. He knows of what he spoke of! I've accomplished much in my life, so I'm not sure that his approval is needed anymore .. but the fact that he will be 89 in a couple of months and has no desire, nor has he, to spend time with me really pisses me off.

    I turn 45 today and tried to arrange a lunch date with my family in his town .. my sister and I would be travelling more than an hour to get there. He couldn't make it. I last saw him in November 2016 when I picked him up to take him to London (2hrs for me) to see his only great grandchildren. Why do I keep trying??? I was trying to get people together.

    He left the farm and contents (the house was supposed to be separate) to the oldest son. He is a toxic part of the problem in that he thinks the rest of us are complete losers who do nothing but annoy dad whlie they are as thick as thieves with each other. He's the one who texted me and said 1pm on a Saturday was a bad appointment to make. I can't do anything without that older brother getting involved.

    My other brother lost his leg due to diabetes during the summer. Dad reached out to visit and asked if there was anything that he could do ... that brother asked him to pick up some equipment while he was in hospital. That brother texted me that 'the other brother' brought this on himself and is making dad travel all over and do everything for him. It drives me crazy. He also admitted that he fired off a terrible email to that brother in hospital .. how supportive? What an ass.

    During the recent lunch date thing - which I backed out of because I was so frustrated - then that brother regaled me with how they went out for lunch just last week (as they do every week). I said I was no longer going to invite dad to anything ... this was the message I received:

    " LOL sorry to hear that. father daughter relationship is a very unique one." Then he insulted our sister. Then me because I didn't go to his second wedding. He doesn't speak to my sister or brother AT ALL.

    They all speak to me, but not among themselves. Dad only spends time with the eldest son and the farm.

    It just drives me completely batty and more than once I have considered just hopping into my car, driving off and not telling anyone where I end up. Maybe Newfoundland. lol

    For decades this has been. I left home at 18. When I did, no one was speaking to each other. I left on the day of my final exam in school. I'm 45 today - I should be over this or dealing with it better but I'm not. That makes me feel bad about myself. All of them have borrowed money from dad. I remained independent and never had to ... except at 21 I needed a new car and dad and I argued in front of the salesman about who would make the $2500 down payment. Mom - who was still alive then - said to let him do this. So I caved. It's difficult for me to car shop on my own and be taken seriously. I always have to have someone with me who walks. Dad, when I was applying for university, said that, "I would never amount to anything." I never forgot it. It still sticks with me and replays over and over in my mind.

    That toxic brother and I didn't speak for 20yrs until I reached out in 2011. I'm his only source of information about the family and then in turn, he translates his truth to dad but always tries to make the rest of us look like idiots. For whatever reason. I need to stop trying to share what's going on with everyone.

    My dad forgot my birthday for five years in a row. My sister always got a card. I recently learned that he still gives $100 to each son every year for their birthday. He stopped for me when I turned 19. Chain card at Christmas. I'm 45. !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It's the thought that bothers me, not the money.

    The eldest brother always throws in my face the fact that my sister and I did not attend dad's second wedding. There are 14 narrow and very steep stairs in that old country church. My sister and I had two days' notice BY EMAIL that he was getting married. Obviously I was not going to let my boyfriend of the time carry me up those treacherous stairs.

    They had a choice of her church that was completely accessible ... yet they chose the most inaccessible one possible.

    Always thrown in my face.

    The entire thing, plus a co-dependent relationship that I was finally able to get out of after 13yrs, has made me so disgusted and hateful towards men. All of them.

    Both that brother and my father make it very difficult for me to want to attend their funerals or even cry at them.
    Last edited by lynnifer; 10-31-2017 at 03:58 AM.
    Make America Sane Again. lol

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    SF bay area, CA
    Posts
    100
    You'd be better off focusing your affections on 3 horses, a mini donkey and a miniature horse. I PM'd you.

Similar Threads

  1. Sex ratio theory
    By Wise Young in forum Science, Medicine, & Technology
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-10-2007, 12:12 PM
  2. IDEAL CARE / CURE FINANCIAL RATIO
    By sinbad in forum Cure
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 11-28-2001, 11:27 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •