Before my injury, I wasn't interested in having children. After my injury, I was told that it wasn't likely to happen... pretty much zero chance. At that time, I didn't really care. Skip ahead 27 years and now that a good number of quads are actually able to do so, things aren't so clear. I think that I would like to be a dad and would be a good dad at that, but given the fact that I'm 46 years old and not even dating, that prospect is as far away as the moon.

Anyway, in the last couple of weeks, I've had a fairly identical dream, twice. I find a baby lying down in the floor or a crib and I pick it up. I hold it to my chest, put my head down on its head and begin bawling. A huge rush of sadness overwhelms me and I wake up.

Last night it happened again. I feared that I would forget the dream so I asked Alexa to remind me. I've been off of Valium for a little over 5 weeks now and my dreams have been a bit more lucid. There's no way that I'm going back on Valium but I wish that I could stop these particular dreams.

Anyhow... life goes on.