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Thread: Just found out a friend died

  1. #1
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Just found out a friend died

    A few minutes ago a friend called to say our friend died, he was found in his bed. He was 52, he had CP. I screamed. I thought he had decades.

    Over the years he's given me great advice, he was a good listener and I think about him nearly every day. He was smart, very smart. He was hardworking. He was patient. He didn't deserve to die but I guess it's never about that.

    52 isn't right, you shouldn't die at 52. You had so much more to do. I always wondered what you would be like as an old man. I used to picture it.

    People never realized how much you did or how strong and smart you were. I never met anyone who had less quit in him. I never heard excuses from him, only about what was next. Oh he wasn't a saint, he grumbled and lost his patience. He was like anyone. But, he was a great guy. I am trying to find out now about the service. I want to speak, I want people to know things about him I don't think they had any inkling of.

    Not many were like you and 52 was too young. Whatever happened, 52 was too young.

  2. #2
    So sorry. Remember the good times. Tell people about him and his life. Speak at his memorial service. It helps.

    I have also lost friends unexpectedly at a young age who were supposedly healthy...one was a nurse friend who was found dead in bed at age 42 (a runner). The other was a friend's daughter, also dead in bed at only age 26. We never know when these loses will happen. Spend time with your friends and family now...we never know when something unexpected will happen and we will regret not spending more time with them when they were alive.

    (KLD)

  3. #3
    I'm so sorry, Grommet. It is awful to lose someone so dear, especially at a young age. It would be a balm and a blessing if you spoke at his service.
    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

  4. #4
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Sorry about your friend. 52 does seem far too young.
    Make America Sane Again. lol

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #5
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Thanks guys. I've been on the phone all days, emails too. His father found him in bed yesterday, that's what we know so far. We don't know if his family will have a public service but if they don't we are talking about putting our own together.
    ..

    I also spent the day watching comedies and laughing out loud. It helped.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by grommet View Post
    Thanks guys. I've been on the phone all days, emails too. His father found him in bed yesterday, that's what we know so far. We don't know if his family will have a public service but if they don't we are talking about putting our own together.
    ..

    I also spent the day watching comedies and laughing out loud. It helped.
    What a good way to spend the day, grommet. Few things are as healing and comforting as laughter.
    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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  8. #8
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Spent yesterday with friends, we talked, made awful gruesome jokes, hugged and when we left told the others not to die, though I did tell one friend that if he did, he should leave me some money.

    I think our friend would have laughed a lot with us. We went to his neighborhood and at a shop one of my friends talked to a cashier for a long time. Later I asked what that was about. He said he wanted to know if the cashier knew our friend. He will not be forgotten.

    He really would have laughed with us yesterday. We all used to make horrible inappropriate jokes and he loved them.

    In the car driving home I told my friends that if I go before them, I wouldn't want them to be sad, I would want them to be as happy as they could be. Keep having fun. Hawaiian shirts and beer. Jimmy Buffet.

    There will be a get -together this weekend for us to remember him and something more formal to come. I won't keep going on, I know other people have their losses too. I guess one thing this is teaching me is that I want the people I care about to be as happy as they can be and .. if I do go before them, that I hope they do something to make fun of me, something that would really make me mad .. until I started laughing with them. That's what friends are all about.

  9. #9
    Grommet, I think you are dealing with this in such a wise and healthy way. I salute you.
    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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