So at the age of 34 I've got a job that pays for me to take vacations (what witchcraft is this???? Why was I working for myself years ago to save up money for travel when someone would have paid me to do it!?!??!?)
My (perhaps unrealistic) goal is to fit my toilet seat in a carry-on bag with all of my other clothes (I can pack light, believe me).
Right now I use this kind of toilet seat
My frame is like 9 years old so it's a little rusty and I've replaced the grey cushioned portion with one that doesn't quite fit the bolt holes, but when I travel right now the smallest package I can make this is like 18" by 18" by around 6". The cushioned seat itself is about 16" x 16" x 3 or 4", and on occasion I've used just that on a toilet seat straight on the toilet bowl without the frame, but it can get pretty messy and requires some acrobatics because there's not quite enough room to clear (and 16 x 16 is still too big for a carryon bag.
I've whined about this before and someone posted a picture of their toilet seat where they took the gray cushioned part and cut it in half, putting on a hinge so it could fold up to half the size (something like 16"x8"x8", which would probably fit in a carryon, but if it had a hinge it would probably be a little too sketchy to put straight up on the toilet seat, and ideally I'd like a frame so even in the worst case scenario if I end up in a hotel with a weird toilet or pooping in the woods I could use just the frame cushion over a bag (I have needed to do this before while camping when the toilet bowl of a pit toilet was too high for my toilet frame. I could "probably" have balanced the cushion part on the plastic lips of the pit toilet, but I might have been taking my life - or at least my dignity - in my own hands at that point).
Anyway, I'm being far too wordy again.
Basically I'm looking for any out of the box ideas for an extremely packable way to take a dump while traveling that fits the following criteria.
1- Small - packs up into package less than 18" x 10" x 6".
2- Elevates me at least 4 inches above the toilet
3- Can be used without a toilet (in case I'm camping in the woods)
4- Won't give me pressure sores - probably the most important, but basically it has to have padding of some kind.
My credentials are as follows: 34 year old, slender, tall, T8ish complete with average strength and slightly below average flexibility.
I'm really really trying to think outside of the box. Eventually I will have to replace this rusting toilet seat frame, and I went so far as to consider trying to convince a local titanium bicycle manufacterer to build me a simple titanium toilet seat frame to my specifications, but I was broke and figured I didn't have the money to pay him for it. At this point in my life I've got a little money and I'm getting a new wheelchair in 2017 and paying taxes, so I could probably write a custom toilet seat off (since I'll be well over my 10% out of pocket in any case). I'm well up to having somebody build something out of aluminum for me, but I'm also open to the idea of some kind of elevation system that attaches to the toilet instead of the floor, thus making the frame unnecessary, i would just have to figure a way to elevate it off the ground a little so I could poop in a tent if I needed to.
Before you launch into your spiel about how I should just pack the frame I have separately and thus get the bag checked for free, that doesn't work for two reasons. One, it's just far too inconvenient to be balancing multiple bags on my lap while rushing to make my flight or trying to negotiate a curbcutless curb or push up a steep hill. Two, I'm not planning on doing all (or much) of my travel in the united states and thus the medical equipment exemption wouldn't hold everywhere and if I'm changing planes in Toronto and Munich en route to Budapest I don't want to find myself without my toilet seat at the end of the journey where I don't even speak the language and have no hope of getting the airline to track it down for me.
Please throw out any ideas you have, including "you're an idiot this isn't possible" and pie in the sky kinda stuff. I need a good brainstorming session.