Hey all,

It's been quite a while since I've browsed this forum but I'm in a rough patch in life. I need some advice on what to do with my current situation. Since I haven't been on here in a while, let me give a brief reintroduction.

I was injured on 1/14/2006 in a roll over car accident in which I was the passenger. My 5th cervical vertebrae burst fractured which rendered me a C6 level quadriplegic. At that time I was 18 and 3 months away from 19. I was going to college for Mechanical Engineering. Well, my injury put that on hold. After the battle of depression, grief, and adjustment to SCI life, I made it back to college. I went back to school at Miami University in the fall of 2009 and graduated in December 2015 with a bachelor's in science in Mechanical Engineering and a minor in Mathematics. I'm apparently addicted to learning and started graduate school at the University of Cincinnati. Currently, I'm in the Aerospace Engineering PhD program.

I have big life plans and want to pursue them but I have a major problem in life. I live at home with my parents. My mother is a registered nurse and has been my primary caregiver essentially the entire time. Over the course of my injured life, I've always tried having caregivers either through home healthcare agencies or independent providers. The problem is that I can NEVER find a home health aide that is reliable. Let alone finding an aide, period. My Medicaid caseworker has always tried finding me aides but, especially in recent years, any of the aides we find don't want to make the drive to my house. A 20 minute drive is too far for nearly ever aide I've interviewed. The most recent aide my caseworker found seemed eager to work with me but on the day she was going to come to my house to meet me, she sent me a text on the day we were scheduled to meet saying she nearly made it to my house but the roads were to curvy for her to make the drive 5 days a week. I feel life a lot of these home health aides have no work ethic and couldn't survive in a 9 to 5 every day job. It is beyond frustrating for me.

The worst part is that my mother and I do NOT get along at all. We're opposite personalities. We argue nearly every day and the mental turmoil is taking a toll on me. I want to live life. On my own. How am I ever going to be able to do that if I can't find reliable caregivers other than my mother?

Recently, a Medicaid program worker had me review the Home Care Waiver which I'm on. I asked her a lot of questions regarding reliable and quality home health aides. It seems that it's a widespread problem that home health aides are generally unreliable, poor workers. So my worry is what does the future hold for me? If I'll never be able to live on my own with reliable help, what is the point of soldiering on? I'm at my wit's end. The tension between my mother and I is widdling me down day by day. I find myself being depressed and pushing people away. That's not what I want. I need a way out. So if anyone knows of any resources I could benefit from, or some key advice, I could really use it. I don't want to be the angry loner gimp. I've accepted that I'm stuck with a SCI, and can be happy, but this problem with lack of caregivers available makes me unhappy and angry.

Sorry for the long winded post. I appreciate any responses!