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Thread: Bonding with babies

  1. #1

    Bonding with babies

    i have a 2 month old, also have a 6 year old...i cant physically hold my son. when my 6 year old was little, we used these woven wrap things my wife would wrap it around me and the beby would get all snuggly in there but now that ihave a trach/vent i amnot sure how to have any closeness with the baby,mkes me sad. i think the baby grabbing the tubing is a possible issue, they can be grabby.

    when my older son was little he always loved riding on my lap, had to limit the amount of time he did it because they wereconcerned about too much pressure. i sometimes just lie down withthe new baby and we just have staring contests

  2. #2
    Hi Schmueley, I can hear your sadness and sense of loss through your post. I don't have the answer but I think you are on the right track. I wanted to suggest you watch the still face experiment on YouTube. It shows the power of bonding through face to face relating. Not sure if these will work:flipping the baby and blocking off your trach so he can touch your face while you bond, soothing sounds, music, blowing on him (calming)...

  3. #3
    Just wondering if you can place a light weight bib-type fabric over your tubing. Would be so nice to work out a way to cuddle.
    Also wonder if one of those front-sitting baby backpack would take any baby weight off your lap. Sorry I don't know if a 2 month old would fit.

    If things don't work out it might be worth getting an Occupational Therapist involved. They are trained to help in everyday functioning and childcare issues would be one of them. This issue you raise is really important for you and baby (and others in this situation) and worth exploring.

  4. #4
    OT is a goodidea. i am supposed to be going to rehab soon,rightnow in the hospital for some other stuff. recovering from proctocolectomy and supposed to be sitting up in my wheelchair soon. I havent used it in a long time and have been stuck in bed. hopefully OT will be able to help. so far they put the baby tummy down on my chest or next tome, swaddled but i think the swaddle solution is a temporary one

    at this point i'm able to be off the vent for a little while so that's an option too,although not sure how long that is. because my disease is progressive, i find myself adjusting to disability,then having to adjust again when things start to progress again...wwas able to walk for awhile,then adjusted to having less stamina,then wheelchair some of the time,then all of the time,,less upper body strength, etc...

  5. #5
    I'm elderly and was totally independent until Post-Polio issues set in several years ago. Since then, it's been many adjustments and more equipment to retain my independence. At this point I have an oxygen tank (5 hour one) strapped to the front of my wheelchair - I can check it and change it. I use vent with mask overnight. Keeping up to date with devices, etc. has helped a lot, and only need a housekeeping service at present.
    Hoping once you're over the medical hurdles you can fully enjoy the new babe.

  6. #6
    I am a c6 quad, so different challenges, but when my baby was that little I would put a Boppy (breastfeeding pillow) on my lap with a wedge propping up the far end and my baby would fit nicely and safely on my lap. I also used a Snuggli to carry her when out. It was really easy to slip over my head. Don't know if it would interfere with your equipment. A ring sling may work, too. I kept it as loose as possible so her weight rested on my lap and didn't affect my balance.
    Hope this helps.
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    "We must become the change we want to see in the world." Gandhi

  7. #7
    Alissa: Thanks for the wonderful photos!

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