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Thread: Hey Buddy!

  1. #1

    Hey Buddy!

    Several times a month I experience all kinds of different people, saying "Hey buddy" to me in a somewhat condescending and charitable tone. Is it just me or do other SCI'd males experience the same thing?

    The context is:
    Hey buddy let me get that door for you
    Hey buddy how are you doing?
    Hey what happened to you buddy?
    I can check you out over here buddy
    Hey do you need some help with that buddy?

    I never respond verbally I just tend to look them in the eye after the unsolicited comment.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    Unsolicited kindness?!? What's the world coming to!! Don't people know being kind to cripples is offensive?!? Folks should just realize us disabled people are so prickly and salty that they should just ignore us.
    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

    "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
    Unsolicited kindness?!? What's the world coming to!! Don't people know being kind to cripples is offensive?!? Folks should just realize us disabled people are so prickly and salty that they should just ignore us.
    I don't mind consideration at all. I truly appreciate kind gestures. Hey buddy often implies rank though.

    Perhaps responding in kind is the best way to handle this. Thanks buddy I really appreciate you getting that for me ...
    Last edited by Patton57; 10-09-2016 at 01:51 PM.

  4. #4
    I use to say that to people all the time before I came over to sci land from the dark side. Still do. Am terrible remembering names. So to answer your question "Is it just me or do other SCI'd males experience the same thing?" Yes I think so, I hope we do.

    Or is the question about something else? Like do sci people get butthurt to easily? Some do and some don't. Am sure I have a few buttons...when you push one I make noise.
    "Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed." - Hunter Thompson
    T5/6 complete

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    I don't mind consideration at all. I truly appreciate kind gestures. Hey buddy often implies rank though.

    Perhaps responding in kind is the best way to handle this. Thanks buddy I really appreciate you getting that for me ...
    I read through a few definitions and derivative discussions of the word "buddy." I didn't get the sense that any of the usages implied "rank." Buddy can be used pejoratively, as in "Hey buddy, get a move on, the light isn't going to get any greener," and mean or imply "idiot" not "friend." Given the context of the "buddy" comments you cited, I think it is safe to say that the speaker meant "friend" or "pal" and was trying to do you a favor and had good intentions in mind. Guess I'd rather be called "buddy" or "pal" than "hey you." "Thanks buddy, I really appreciate you getting that for me ...," may come across as mocking and/or sarcastic. Drop the "buddy," and just offer a gracious and sincere "Thank you." You will make the person who had good intentions and went out of his way to show some human compassion and kindness feel good about offering to help someone another time.

    All the best,
    GJ

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by gjnl View Post
    I read through a few definitions and derivative discussions of the word "buddy." I didn't get the sense that any of the usages implied "rank." Buddy can be used pejoratively, as in "Hey buddy, get a move on, the light isn't going to get any greener," and mean or imply "idiot" not "friend." Given the context of the "buddy" comments you cited, I think it is safe to say that the speaker meant "friend" or "pal" and was trying to do you a favor and had good intentions in mind. Guess I'd rather be called "buddy" or "pal" than "hey you." "Thanks buddy, I really appreciate you getting that for me ...," may come across as mocking and/or sarcastic. Drop the "buddy," and just offer a gracious and sincere "Thank you." You will make the person who had good intentions and went out of his way to show some human compassion and kindness feel good about offering to help someone another time.

    All the best,
    GJ
    So it does potentially carry additional meaning? That's all I'm trying to get at it.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    So it does potentially carry additional meaning? That's all I'm trying to get at it.
    Seriously, ANYTHING can carry additional meaning.

    If you look for meaning, you will find it.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    So it does potentially carry additional meaning? That's all I'm trying to get at it.
    It does have additional meaning when the intonation of the speaker is such that it comes across as brusque or angry followed by additional words of hostility and possibly internationally know hand gestures.

    Other names I've heard used to get the attention of someone whose name one doesn't know are "Mac," "Chief," "Hey Man," "Hey You," "Sir" "Lady," and "Madam."

    In Britain, you might hear "Gov" for men, and "Love" for women. In Australia you might hear "Mate" or "Matey."

    All of the kinds of generic names can be used just like "Buddy" that you used in your initial post.

    All the best,
    GJ
    Last edited by gjnl; 10-09-2016 at 08:19 PM.

  9. #9

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    And/So?

    All the best,
    GJ

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