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Thread: Do you ever get annoyed listening to "able-bodied problems"

  1. #1

    Do you ever get annoyed listening to "able-bodied problems"

    do you guys ever get annoyed and fed up, usually on a day where nerve pain and other complications are really fucking bad and you're listening to some able-bodied whether it's someone you know or not complain about trivial problems that used to bother you? We still deal with them, but now you look at them in your life and you just wonder how you ever got so worked up about something so meaningless. The kind of problems that are temporary, even the bigger ones you're basically forget about it in a few months. Like repleted leaving whining about money issues when all they have to worry about his normal expenses like cell phones, rent etc when you got to pay for all that plus A ridiculous amount for caregiving and medical supplies; and because you don't have enough money you have to Live within somebody else's work schedule because you can't get yourself in bed or can't do anything yourself.

    I fight with my parents all the time, I'm more than willing for them to just leave and be free of it having a little bit more freedom is not worth listening to the bitching. But I don't want to leave, or whatever reason they have guilt as bad as they think they have it they're not willing to walk away! At the same time if I wasn't living with my mother I would not be able to get my diet, i'd have to be in bed by 10 every night and up by nine every day even on weekends,. And stupidly I have really long hair so the one "luxury" or in quadriplegic life "addition" ( addition as in it's not the basics about care, showering, basic cooking, necessary minimum cleaning, getting dressed and situated outside of those things if you can't do it yourself unless you have over $8000 to spend a month you don't get to do it the rest your life, and there's a number of things I'd like to be doing ) I have is The protocol I do for my hair I have a full head but my father as bald as a bat so just as a preventative and anxiety I look after it I don't take the normal dangerous drugs so many guys take to help it tho, it sounds gay as hell and it is but I care about physical appearance as much as I care about physical superiority strength of all kinds etc. I just know the way the world works is presentable people, good looking are taken more seriously and when you are severely disabled I find it to be your only saving grace. But again I'm honestly prepared to just shave it and accept a massive deduction in freedom and quality of life for them to be free and not deal with the fighting. I won't be able to follow through with my plans as I won't be able to do the intense protocol to help reverse osteoporosis as well as many other things so I wouldn't really have much of a reason to live because I wouldn't be able to do what I need to do to get ready for treatment/settlement. FYI for those guys that don't know me don't waste your time telling me why don't you go to school or that crap; with my function as limited as it is Fully dependent to a pathetic extent that is not remotely on the radar thank you though that's not self-pity that's just my decision I love made that decision basically two months after the injuryand I will never falter from it. But just to establish at the same time i'm obviously prepared for that I would deal with the much more limited lifestyle, until I reach for settlement and then I'll go onto the next life leaving the money behind. That's the main concern as I believe I can reverse osteoporosis, and in fact I think with the second settlement provided the funds I can help progress research a little bit to substantially, as that's my only goal in life it's my only option which means I'am willing to put all cards on the table. I digress

    Anyways I'm sure you guys see it all the time, I realized from my own personal experience and other people with injuries as bad as mine or worse real problems in this life are permanent, The kind of things you don't even get a 10 minutes smoke break from it every second of every day, and it impacts every single aspect of life. Those are real problems, so I have a real hard time finding people that are whineing about how boring their job is, money problems, broke up with girlfriend, finding a new job etc. I'll play the part that someone I don't get to see i'm not going to shame them , Then they just think you miserable bitter gimp haha. But in my head as bad as they think they have it, all I'm thinking is just wow what a luxurious lifestyle for that to be your main problem.

    And then when people mope around, constantly whining to the point where it's hindersom again it's over something that even if it is kind of a "big deal" like breaking up with a girlfriend, losing a job it's temporary whether we want to realize that or not it is it won't fucking matter in a few monthsand even in those first few months you're not going to be hindered by it and reminded of it every three seconds like paralysis, nerve pain, full body spasticity,or any other horrible disease etc. And honestly I remember what I was like before, I was ignorant I feel sorry for myself for retarded things crashing my car well only getting a few scratches on myself, not having money, having to work, girl troubles etc. literal jokes I look back at those now and those are luxuries not problems, and I realize the mistake it is to even waste your energy and time whining about something that has no real impact other than what you make of it. It's not going to impact every aspect of your life, it's not going to constantly make you wither away and sick no matter what you do in and out of doctors appointments that can help you or even give ya a solid answer.

    It's like people that whine about "chronic" Back pain or something like that when they can feel their entire body, be doing stretches and changing their lifestyle and it actually having a majorly positive impact, but they don't they choose to sit around rather than stand up and stretch choose to cook and eat shit rather then using that luxurious function to cook healthy and continue to bitch about it. It truly was a luxury to be that ignorant, I remember.?

    vent over god I write too much whatever read it if you wish, some of you may be able to resonate without a doubt

  2. #2
    And you know every now and then I try and give advice, recommend taking full advantage of your body your youth well you can,Point out that it's not a big deal it's only temporary etc. but a lot of times especially if they've around me a lot they just get defensive, "My problem still matter" blah blah. Having said that sometimes I do get overboard when it happens again and again and I make them feel stupid as they get very defensive usually resort to calling me pathetic or a martyr which is highly ironic. But I'm just heading on five years, i'm getting sicker and sicker dealing with shit that even around my level isn't common , And despite making better diet choices, still pursuing physiotherapy some of the other quads I know just got lucky with somethings, for example their bladder and it and I will admit it right now it does make me bitter. And you know they make recommendations, and I'm thinking frig I won't even take my own advice ator at the same time they don't even have The dangerous full body violence spasms two of them are incompletes with sensation and one has four tries of function,not to mention forearm wrist function with really cooperative bladders haha and you know I had one say oh you're making excuses and you know what I'll take it from them whatever it's hard to know the difference.when you've never had it and drugs worked great for you you just assume that's how it is, I don't need to be defensive and try and prove something that's of no benefit for either of us. But lately when it comes to the able-bodied I just don't have time for it...

  3. #3
    I enjoy reading your posts. First response for me, but yes. Hearing any complaints from someone who isn't paralyzed comes like salt on a wound. You try to keep it inside and subtle, but other times feel like responding to someone who just broke both legs with, "Stop whining...At least you'll kinda walk, 6 months".

    This injury is as maiming as it comes. Mine only happened 6 months ago. T-5 complete, ladder fall. But I've learned all the great accomplices...uti, pain, spasms, some pressure sores, BP, catheters, no sexual feeling. It's lovely. So yes, hearing someone complain of traffic on the way home or being hungover, it's easy to get reactive. I don't blame you at all. I've been eating a shit sandwich daily since I was hurt. First bite is when I wake up and remember I can't feel a thing below my nipples. "This life takes 5 years to get used to". I bet it does. Over and over...All my best to you, James

  4. #4
    No one's problems should be disregarded, life is tough SCI or not.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains
    Now that's not exactly true Jim. If we paid attention to/took serious every problem, some hypochondriac people complain about, there would be no time for anything else. It's like Miley Cyrus talking constantly while never taking a breath on the voice. A cut on the toe turns into a decapitation before your eyes.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    No one's problems should be disregarded, life is tough SCI or not.
    That comes from the restless unproductive reality of human nature, we really do based our existence off of suffering, or at least perceived suffering. But the fact of the matter is I like most here was able bodied at one point, for myself I remember making a big deal out of something that wasn't going to mean anything a week from now and/or required just a little bit of effort to deal with. and getting worked up about something so temporary so meaningless is just a waste of time and frankly unnecessary self induced doses of harmful Cortisol ( which ironically could slightly increase the possibility of something actually substantially problematic occurring ). And the only reason that something was so disheartening was because I lived a far to luxurious of a life, Time do appreciate what you have when The things that are important beyond words you ignorantly think are just standard! My God I wish someone could put me in my place back then, would of saved my self a lot of time and grief; not to mention just be that much more productive. The true problems as in the actual very serious problems are permanent, the lesser problems are temporary. So yes in many cases problem should be disregarded, when it's a pointless meaningless things to be worked up about. I look back at things that happened before, even things that most would consider a big deal and just laugh at how foolish I was

    This is what blows my mind about this systematic oppression, white privilege nonsense it's all horseshit everyone is judged on first sight! you want privilege look at functioning hands, legs and the unfathomable amount of doors those open, going to the bathroom on your own accord etc. you want to talk oppression talk when you literally cannot and will not even in the slightest be able to do any kind of work that involves hands; not being able to experience sexual pleasure, Live in a society that is not remotely designed for you and frankly even The attempts put in place provide little benefit and more than likely not possible to have any real society restructure that will substantial benefit someone that can't move their arms 10 inch elevation means no entrance, having to abide to a 10 o'clock bedtime from the age of 20 onwards, having to pay every time you take a shit or piss etc that's oppression.

    If you are basking in 100% of the unimaginable glory that is the human body, you are not doing bad at all, and you can turn so much around by taking advantage of it 100%! Literally if I had my own pair of hands and was able to experience sexual pleasure I don't know how I'd ever feel sorry for myself after being filled with the knowledge I have. I would gladly sign up for 20 years of prison is it able-bodied person and to be freed the same whether I was killed in prison or not I would take that in a heartbeat, I would gladly be deported to a undeveloped country with nothing but the shirt on my back as an able bodied person in exchange, I would gladly go to Army if needed the war instead of this take my chances I wanted to do that anyway so not a fair comparison. Quite literally I would've rather been given a diagnosis of six months to live but for that time at least the majority of it be able to take full advantage of the human body until my time is up, given that opportunity of any of these I would take it in a heartbeat. Whether I'd get discouraged or pissy later on in the process is irrelevant, because i would never want to change back...
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 09-29-2016 at 10:26 PM.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyed_daisy View Post
    Now that's not exactly true Jim. If we paid attention to/took serious every problem, some hypochondriac people complain about, there would be no time for anything else. It's like Miley Cyrus talking constantly while never taking a breath on the voice. A cut on the toe turns into a decapitation before your eyes.
    Exactly, and making a Big deal out of nothing comes from ignorance, ignorance that is obtained from living all too well!

  8. #8
    back when i was good lookin' I use to sit there and commiserate with people: Oh yeah, that's terrible, oh my, blah blah blah." now i'm old and ugly: sissy, suck it up!

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by baldfatdad View Post
    back when i was good lookin' I use to sit there and commiserate with people: Oh yeah, that's terrible, oh my, blah blah blah." now i'm old and ugly: sissy, suck it up!
    That's funny! It is what it is, ignorance is truly bliss...

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sarafino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    SW Colorado---chair user from nerve disorder
    I feel like this a lot, even though I know everything is relative. For some reason people see me as someone understanding and want to dump all their AB problems on me. Outwardly I try to be caring but inside I am seething. Because of this I prefer to not have AB friends. I do have a few though, and am married to an AB. It makes him sad that I can be this way and view his and other AB's problems as trivial. I am not saying I am right, it's not like I wake up every day and am thankful that I am not blind after all. I think a lot of feeling this way is because people can't relate to my problems so I end up just being a receptacle for their problems.

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