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Thread: Me Before You

  1. #51
    Quote Originally Posted by Le Todd View Post
    Exactly! No one is forcing the disabled to kill themselves.
    exactly, that's why I was so pissed off about the whole "disabled activists" against assisted suicide they were worried that it would undermine their life, more like put a dent in their coping mentality. The self-proclaimed strong, brave individuals are more worried about their evidently fragile coping mechanisms than each individual having a choice! More importantly alleviating the suffering of the people that are worse off than severely disabled in an empty state of just barely breathing basically. I swear man, all these supposed uplifting and inspirational mentality of quadriplegics finding peace with their dependence injured lifestyle, supposedly pere supportdrove me closer to suicide. Just thinking dear God don't let my mind crumble like that, don't let my expectations drop, I will not end up like that happy or not! No fing way!!

  2. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Le Todd View Post
    A lot of them have Jesus, so their grasp on reality is already broken.
    A valid point, comical too. This injury didn't drive me do religion in desperation, but it gave me a lot of time with nothing to do but think. I don't believe in anything man has written,because we as a whole are is dirty and corrupt as it gets not to mention arrogant self absorbed, and the deity they speak of in the Bible clearly has those traits according to its writing! But all that time thinking, has led me to the conclusion that there is something more, something far bigger than ourselves too far out of our comprehension so we shouldn't even try. And I didn't come to the conclusion because of fear of nothingness and a pointless empty existence, justlogical thinking; sounds conflicting I know but it is what it is

  3. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    A valid point, comical too. This injury didn't drive me do religion in desperation, but it gave me a lot of time with nothing to do but think. I don't believe in anything man has written,because we as a whole are is dirty and corrupt as it gets not to mention arrogant self absorbed, and the deity they speak of in the Bible clearly has those traits according to its writing! But all that time thinking, has led me to the conclusion that there is something more, something far bigger than ourselves too far out of our comprehension so we shouldn't even try. And I didn't come to the conclusion because of fear of nothingness and a pointless empty existence, just logical thinking; sounds conflicting I know but it is what it is
    But you don’t pretend to know for certain what you don’t. That’s respectable.


  4. #54
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    You are both alone.

    Many quadriplegics lead happy loving lives.

    Not everyone has a death wish.

    Either you're supporting treatment research or just wanting to end it.

    Can't have both?

    I've had some incredible challenges and became severely depressed over the last three decades, but I never gave up hope. Can't swim in negative waters 24-7 no matter your situation in life.

    1) It's detrimental to your health and mental well being.

    2) No one will want to be with such negativity.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #55
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    Lynnifer,

    Not only will not many people want to be "with" such full-time negative people, but will not want to be "around or near" such negativity.
    Sure we all have our days everyone does. Being pleasant to be around even though it seems difficult, makes for more personal contact, and breeds more pleasantness.

    Having said that, this is a good forum to discuss such things. Listen to differing opinions, and dig yourself out of the doom and gloom
    . Your choice.

  6. #56
    You're missing the point.
    Those quads you speak of that lead "happy loving lives" have succumb to their injury.
    They've settled for an inferior life.
    One that's hardly respectable, and one that's truly pitiful.
    There's no denying that. The things a complete quad has to endure are pathetic.
    If you're content living a life that is as dependent as an infant, well then by all means...

    For some people that's just not acceptable though. Can you fault them for that?



    What bothered me most about the uproar from disability activists because of this film, was their lack of insight.
    Many of them were para's who although 'disabled', could not objectively view quadriplegia, and really shouldn't open their mouths.


    I don't get it. There is no way I would ever offer advice or suggestions to someone with a higher injury level than mine. It's self-serving and disrespectful.

  7. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by eskay View Post
    You're missing the point.
    Those quads you speak of that lead "happy loving lives" have succumb to their injury.
    They've settled for an inferior life.
    One that's hardly respectable, and one that's truly pitiful.
    There's no denying that. The things a complete quad has to endure are pathetic.
    If you're content living a life that is as dependent as an infant, well then by all means...

    For some people that's just not acceptable though. Can you fault them for that?



    What bothered me most about the uproar from disability activists because of this film, was their lack of insight.
    Many of them were para's who although 'disabled', could not objectively view quadriplegia, and really shouldn't open their mouths.


    I don't get it. There is no way I would ever offer advice or suggestions to someone with a higher injury level than mine. It's self-serving and disrespectful.
    My man!! Clearly someone who's expectations of themselves and their life stayed intact despite an injury

  8. #58
    Senior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    My man!! Clearly someone who's expectations of themselves and their life stayed intact despite an injury
    Clinging to impossible to meet expectations is nothing to be proud about. It is absurd. As life changes, so must expectations. Neglecting this truth is at the root of much suffering. If life is intolerable, end it. If it is tolerable, live it. Drifting inbetween is a poor choice IMO.
    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

    "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

  9. #59
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    You are both alone.

    Many quadriplegics lead happy loving lives.

    Not everyone has a death wish.

    Either you're supporting treatment research or just wanting to end it.

    Can't have both?

    I've had some incredible challenges and became severely depressed over the last three decades, but I never gave up hope. Can't swim in negative waters 24-7 no matter your situation in life.

    1) It's detrimental to your health and mental well being.

    2) No one will want to be with such negativity.
    Do you think I talk like this outside of this fourm?? This is what I keep inside at all times, when the boys come over, when I go out, when I see my cousins it's all about trying to enjoy it as much as possible, and to my surprise they seem to always have a good time, even send me a message we need to do it again sometime had so much fun. my straight forward humour still prevails. I can act damn well, but internally subconsciously I could never Accept such a life. As for relationships to me considering I can't even take care of myself so many limitations that no delusional attempts can deny , I have no sensation or sexual function, or muscular function to provide variety at the very least! all of that in mind a relationship is meaningless, I have no desire to pursue one I would have to at least be able to take care of myself Take away some limitations to even consider such a thing!

    And all of this is pointless, I have no need to get even slightly defensive about what you said. The fact of the matter is I've seen plenty of positive upbeat quadriplegic, single, no friends, and they just can't figure it out.

    Quadriplegic is a vague term, I know C5 injuries that function similar to paraplegics and I know others that are completely dependent because of lack of function. C7-8 are almost always relatively independent, hell there are C4 Incompletes that are almost fully independent! If I had an incomplete injury that lead to slight tricep/ more arm function leading me to transfer, drives,handle caregiving etc. I'd likely be a lot happier too.

    I am not depressed, a lot of us are not depressed just because we'd rather be dead than live completely dependent lifestyle. It's a matter of integrity, principles and honor. All of which I have lost and spit on by living like this for so long. It's also a matter of justification and enjoyment for a lot of us that feel this way there's nothing we can do that we actually enjoy! Something that we can think about when the caregiving is taking place that we can look forward to and use as justification to such indignity.

    Now this bothers me, actually bothers me!! The notion that you can't support cure research and want to die, is bullshit. The bulk of my energy and focus is directed at cure research, educating myself, repair myself, leaving my money to the proper labs,Setting up an Organization etc. I put so much effort into it because I feel it's the only justifiable thing to do, because I know this life isn't worth living, and I know how sick it is that people are trapped like this because of one accident, being cared for having to ask for EVERYTHING unable to even get their own toothbrush. Others resorting to starvation to rid themself of such a lifestyle.


    If I was more positive and upbeat,accepting of this injury ( makes my skin crawl just thinking about accepting dependents) i'd be just yet another gimp, saying how inspirational I am cause I go to work or went fishing, putting most of my motivation and effort towards coping and adapting to such a lifestyle. I'd be more worried about spending my money on diapers and catheters then I would about donating, supporting certain labs, building my body etc. I completely turn my back on the fact that more and more people are going to end up like me, And just focus on keeping myself preoccupied to stay happy or so my mind didn't drift to the "bad attitude" of analyzing the reality of my situation.

    I'm in the process of starting my own organization, that I will work on but it's going to be a platform to apply for grants, if I was given those grants every last dollar would be put into the best research, no paychecks, no marketing, no bullshit. I'm also starting two real estate franchises with my mother, she has close ties with corporate. It's a pretty tightknit crew they have done a lot of charity before, if we can get these two franchises going being very productive we're hoping to get 10% of all revenue towards cure research again directly to labs of my choosing , And she believes the corporate would follow suit and many franchises across Canada would do the same! I'm also just signed the retainer right now to be a represented plaintive on a big class-action not going in to the specifics, every dollar I get from it, including from my accident benefits insurance claim I will be putting into my protocol which I've developed over the last year's based on the best technology available now and picking the brains of far more educated and qualified individuals. It will speed up the process if I succeed, it will be a combination of many things and every day will be dedicated to the rewiring of my body if successful collaboration between the labs would only be logical, and I'm more than willing to put my body on the line for that why!? because this is life-and-death for me, this is dignity verse indignity, freedom and independence or entrapment and dependance. Exactly what you claim cannot be done together, is actually the best combination for motivation.

    The ball is finally rolling, just starting but it's finally rolling. If all of this ends up being successful, it will greatly help the cause! fact I haven't seen anyone put a solid attempt together to try and cure this, not since Christopher Reeves. A lot of effort and work but they always had other priorities, more important things to them. There was no risk, no sacrifice This is far bigger than me, than any of us nothing could be more important in this scenario. If I'm not going to get enough funds to build and follow my protocol , well then I will gladly end my life and leave all of what I did receive to be divided between the top most promising laboratories/clinical trials. Either way it'll be over $1 million, and that money will be much better served going towards The eradication of this deplorable disability known as complete quadriplegia rather than me spending it on food cuffs, wheelchairs, caregivers, piss begs, shit pad etc all to live a pathetic life I despise and have no self-respect with,and most importantly have no way to justify... It is because of that, that I'm willing/ able to put all the cards on the table, and do more!
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 07-08-2016 at 03:14 PM.

  10. #60
    I am not proud about how I feel, but I am honest.
    Is it wrong to see things as they are?
    I consider myself to be a realist, and with being that you must be very practical as well.

    I am not neglecting the truth, I'm seeing it for what it is.

    I wish I was delusional enough to endure life as a quad, believe me I do.
    Perhaps believe in a God who was 'testing' me.

    But I am not narcissistic enough to be religious, and I am not ignorant enough to be delusional.


    So I remain trapped. You're right though, it is a poor 'choice'

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