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Thread: Husband left me

  1. #11

    You are a strong woman. Hang in there!

    darlagee22 you are a strong woman! To live with a SCI and take care of yourself is an undaunting task in itself.

    I got injured 12 day before I was to be married. We got married two months after I was released from the hospital. After 8 years of marriage she came home and said, "I don't want to be married anymore. Your disability doesn't go away! (Ouch! What an excuse!) I want my freedom!" So I gave her her freedom. Three months after the divorce was finalized she calls me and tells me, "I got married again! To a doctor! Oh well you did good. Left a man of health for a man of wealth.

    At 10:00 o'clock I would watch the news and shut it off at 10:30 p.m. after the weather and go to bed. One night they had a story of man stopping his car on the Valley View Bridge in Cuyahoga Valley near Cleveland, Ohio, getting out, climbing the fence and jumping 150 plus feet to the bottom.

    About 8 years latter I bump into my ex at the grocery store with a small boy in the cart. We talked for a short time and told me she got married again! (For the third time!). I asked what happen to the second marriage? He jumped off the Valley View Bridge and committed suicide! So who is the man of health and the man of wealth? I stopped saying that.

    Her boy has HFA, high functioning autism.

    During my time I was single again I got together with old friends and made new friends. Went to church with a friend regularly also helped. Talk with family, parents, brothers or sisters or a personal confidant. I also did things "I never had time for." I went back to college and earned my bachelor's degree. I also traveled domestically and internationally which boosted my moral and confidence.

    During my first flight to China dinner was being served in the cabin. A fortune cookie was given to every passenger with their meal. I left my fortune cookie for last. Eating my dinner I wondering what it would say? I was done with my meal and I just looked at this cookie. I opened it and it said, "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties." I sat back and smiled. What has life taught me?

    Hang in there!

    Valuable lessons are always being learned and there are endless wonderful gifts waiting for us, especially as a result of the tough breaks we have to deal with. Some people just can't deal with what has happen to them let alone to look to the future and move forward. Live your life to the fullest each and every day. Human life is precious. Your heart is open and love is still strong. Your mind is strong and still learning. Make peace with God.

    It's not your fault.

    Take care of yourself,

    Ti
    "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

  2. #12
    While it may seem impossible now you will get through this and gain your confidence again. I left my husband in April 2015 and I can remember feeling lost, low self esteem, out of control at times, completely devastated. I can remember questioning whether I had the physical ability to be a single mom. The best choices I made were: good attorney to protect me legally, group divorce counseling at my church early on, seeking out more support systems for me and my children, and allowing myself to feel the horrid emotions rather than avoiding them. The time frame is different for everyone. One year later I am able to look back and see how I've grown and Now I'm not wasting so much energy enduring something that was past fixing. You can do this.

  3. #13
    So sorry to hear that, it's touch I have been there before. T-10 injury myself post 23 years. Curious what's your level of injury? You can do this, and you have friends in the forum to reach out to.

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by nmireles View Post
    So sorry to hear that, it's touch I have been there before. T-10 injury myself post 23 years. Curious what's your level of injury? You can do this, and you have friends in the forum to reach out to.
    Those who have complete profiles usually have their LOI listed on their profile, as does this OP.

    (KLD)

  5. #15
    Thanks Nurse

  6. #16
    Oh wow. I just saw all the responses. What an understanding community. I am definitely doing the grieving, getting lots of support and planning for my future with good advice. It's such a huge adjustment and living with family until I get my own accessible space is a challenge to my feeling "like myself" but it's good to be with them. I am pained about leaving Hawaii and our dream of a great house with a view of the ocean. I miss the everyday warmth and especially the swimming and snorkeling- my favorite thing to do. But I must say goodbye for now and be grateful for all the good relationships I still do have here.
    Sometime soon I need to write about it on my blog....another step...
    Again, thank you for the encouragement!

  7. #17
    I am sorry to read you are going through this.

    I would strongly echo Patton57's advice about protecting your rights. Retain the independent legal advice of an experienced divorce lawyer in your state.

    Do not sacrifice fairness and justice for expediency (Ex. Aww. Whatever. Let's just get it over with.)

    Keep positive!

  8. #18
    Senior Member
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    I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand how difficult it is on a spouse because I see it, especially during pouring storms. It's still not an excuse or a reason to do such things. My heart is with you.

  9. #19
    This is a Brand New opportunity for You. Someone told me a few years ago, "Get Busy living, or Get Busy Dying". Right!!!

  10. #20
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    sorry this happened.

    when it happened to me, I found, he did me a giant favor. I had no plans of a future relationship after that, but I would meet mr right once mr ex had absconded.
    that guy was such a whiney bitch. he complained and stomped around all the time, big ol baby when the going got a little rough from just life going on.

    He tried to run off with someone, but she was only interested in married men that had a home that wasn't her home.
    He went and told everyone we knew that he left me because I cheated on him with Mr right. the only one who believed him was his mother.

    it was his car wrecking that got me injured in the first place. I was the one with a job, and to keep it, I rode a bike to work.
    I got hit by a drunk driver.
    stupid me for marrying that guy.

    It took several restraining orders to keep him from stealing my car, and just walking into my apartment, while he was still squatting in our foreclosed house a year and a half later.

    finally, it took a judges order for him to sign the divorce papers. he finally signed them when he was arrested for trespassing. (breaking into our foreclosed house after they threw him out several times)

    I didn't bother to own a car for six years, because he would steal them and wreck them, even if I had a restraining order and he went to jail for it.

    he even tried to steal my tricycle, but someone saw him made him bring it back. he stole my dog. I wouldn't have another dog for ten years.

    eleven years after getting dumped because he didn't want a defective wife,
    ..........shoot, I still feel like throwing a party because im rid of his nonsense.
    Last edited by jody; 08-26-2016 at 06:09 PM.

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