Quote Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
Yeah, I reckon it was. It's a bit of a sore spot for me, and probably has more than a little to do with my attitude towards my SCI.

While I was off having my "grand adventure" my wife was home with our kids. Between the ages of ~25-35 I was either at work 10-12 hours a day or out on the road. Even when I wasn't on an "adventure trip" I was still riding. Every weekend to the Blue Ridge Parkway or some other favorite road or trail in the mountains. I took the long way going EVERYWHERE. A simple trip to the corner market would take me an hour or two, at least. I got my SCI on a "lunch break" from work (on a Sunday...when I was the only one in the office...) to squeeze in a quick 100km to Knotts Island and back.

Meanwhile, 1...2...3...eventually 4 kids later...where the fuck was I?!?!? Not at home. Not being a dad. Not being a husband. Sure, I thought making lots of money and "providing" for their material needs was my role as "Dad" and "husband", but, boy, was I wrong! I was an "absentee" father/husband in almost every sense of the term, except I stopped by to sleep (and obviously make more babies!)

When I returned from that space between life and death, lying pinned to the road, that fateful day (10 years ago next week), I knew several things INSTANTLY. The first was that I was paralyzed. Hard to miss that. The second was that it was my fault. While I WAS run over from behind (waiting to make a left turn) by a stupid kid talking on a cell phone, I still knew this was ALL my fault. Every choice I had ever made led me to that intersection, that Sunday, at 11:57am (the time my watch was stopped...now framed in a shadow box on my desk), on my trusty R1200GS (only 6 months old but with ~15,000 miles on it already!). EVERY CHOICE led me there. I could have spent another 5 minutes on the toilet that morning and avoided it. I could have decided to go with my family, but I chose MYSELF.

They were at the beach that morning, the first decent day of the year, playing, relaxing, and enjoying themselves. Where the fuck was I?!?!?

Lying on the road, coming to terms with what an ASSHAT I had been, taking everything wonderful about my life completely for granted. I turned a corner that day, one I desperately needed to turn.

So, was all that riding amazing? I guess it was. It was fun and exciting too. It led me to where I am today. I don't hate it, but to answer your question, "No. I don't ride anymore."

That kind of lifestyle is never remotely for me, and won't be for a long time, maybe never! It would take a lot of Extreme testing myself , Some pretty ridiculous situations ( not possible as a disabled don't ask) until Id have and find anything close to fulfilment,contentment and true self respect and be able to "settle" let alone be interested in such a thing...so I can't possibly understand your rationale, and I won't pretend to! But I understand the concept, as I've said in other threads the biological binding responsibility that is children changes everything! Needless to say good for you because it sounds like you found what I mentioned above for yourself! And that is always a respectable thing!