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Thread: Keith Smith . "We are going to walk again! "

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by A trophy guy View Post
    I see you haven't changed one bit. I feel sorry for you James.
    Of course I didn't (in contexts to how I feel about dependency) you think I was lying out of anger and desperation,all because it was too early in my preordain five-year coping time (supposed Time it takes for the brain to unwillingly adapt to finding contentment in less) when I said I'll stay true to how I feel about the situation no matter how long post? I won't let this injury or this lifestyle change me, never; I've seen it change, it's all too common and I don't find it notable/ uplifting in the slightest ( if anything I think wow in regards to the person that has to look after us)... But of course with time like anyone inevitably I have changed even in how I look at the situation, in certain ways. but of course it wouldn't fit your perception of positive, strong change in regards to the disability,so you won't notice it, so you can stay nicely tucked in to your perspective ... Which is fine. From what little I know about you considering we speak on spinal cord injury forums I wouldn't feel sorry for you in the slightest you know nothing of what it's like to lose your freedom, and to be cared for by others! despite your injury in a strong majority of situations you're able to do what you want, when you want, how you want, as many times as you want! you still actively pursue your health and bodybuilding ( and just like a friend of mine same injury as yours people respect you guys for all that) you don't even know what it is to spiral down an un escapable tunnel of serious health issues related to the injury despite making the best available health choices! Only to be offered "treatments" that flat out don't work and or open up doors to numerous other complications (including but not limited to; exasperating other secondary complications related to the injury and/or hindering recovery), not to mention have to be done by other people who more often than not have other things on their mind, hard to be truly sterile hahaha... Can't stop the rot without at least decent arm/ hand function because it's a continuous constant effort to do so with injuries C-5 and up. But even if you could find that kind of help ( hundreds of thousands a year) Who in the blue hell wants to be fiddled up the behind by other people, I mean a lot of elderly are checking out before that happens for good reason!

    You know what, truth be told I don't see a lot of impressive feats in the disabled Community yes; sorry that's just me ( shouldn't offend you), I do have high expectations I was constantly trying to do better cause I never truly impressed myself despite doing things most could never do; and I'm not going to drop my expectations just because I broke my neck. But you know what I respect what Keith is doing and the effort he is putting into it, hell I myself am even starting to make connections and progress that are very likely to effect a whole hell of a lot more people than just me! With that effort, and not giving into the chair say ya it's not enough for me! he and I are probably going to actively be a part in finding an effective treatment, for the injuries of today and most importantly tomorrow!most likely a small part, but apart no lessfar bigger than just preaching and throwing a couple hundred dollars. Hopefully one day both of us will be able to say yeah I helped get people and myself out of thous chairs, or at least Out of that lifestyle! hopefully in the near future nobody else remains paralyzed after one accident! that's inspirational, that's uplifting, in my eyes at least personally I'd say it's pretty fucking sad if you didn't think it was! Because it's slowly becoming a reality!

    now what if I was a different person,as you so hope me to be , So you wouldnt have to feel sorry for me! And I mostly just turn my back on research, and just completely gave up on getting out of the chair! Tomorrow I woke up knowing and being just OK with the fact; for the rest of my life someone is going to get me up, clean me and ever night they're going to put me in bed (when they're available mind you, not when I want to ). And instead of trying to ask for as little help as possible which obviously has implications on how much I get out, I just said "let's go here", "I want to go there", "can you lift me into this", "hey what are you doing want to hang out" (aka do you want to help me for a bit hopefully I have no accidents) all to just keep my mind preoccupied away from my limitations, my injury, how it's un dignified, how much of a burden I am, and most importantly if/when/how I'm getting out of this chair. Then maybe one day when Iam lifted onto my commode, and having someone scrub me down i'll see on TV "come one come all, there is now a treatment for SCI". Then years later when I look back I can say "Yep science really came along way, they were able to get me out of my chair and tell me exactly how to do it" as if I didn't expect enough to be done for me! Doesn't sound inspirational at all, oh yeah I forgotwhat a few ignorant able-bodied people and rehab told me I sat in the chair, I accepted less, and I found a way to do things ( through other people *cough*) yay I'm so strong and inspirational; 15mins later " can you pass me that please"...

    In conclusion, your damn fucking right I haven't "changed"; truth be told that's the only thing that I have some self-respect for since this accident.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 05-01-2016 at 12:39 AM.

  2. #12
    P.S Keith one way or another, the science is coming along; we need to help; we need to educate ourselves on the research, we need to encouragecollaboration and give our input so that the researcher have something to think about. Let them know that we are watching, we are learning and we are willing to work! We need to invest and find investors. And for gods sake's don't forget we need to prevent our bodies from rotting away, drop foot, joint contractors, osteoporosis, bladder shrinkage, muscle atrophy, prevent the muscles from losing the ability to contract, spinal atrophy etc. etc. if these things get out of control, you won't see a substantial recovery. And nothing in modern medicine will directly teach you how to do that, so you need to educate yourself, you need to ask the questions the doctors never get asked!! But we all need to remember that curing SCI is bigger than just one individual bigger than our selfs. If my bodies gone and rotten, then I'm willing to die and leave my money behind rather than spend it on condoning and living this lifestyle! But its still got a little bit of life in it! So let's keep making connections, finding ways to bring in money, introduce people, raise it yourself blah blah let's get the fuck out of these chairs,at the very least into an independent lifestyle and keep other people from ending up in the chair the rest of their life. To the people that don't want to participate, and want to tell us spinal cord injury is OK and condone it's presents, ignorantly and yes indirectly ( hopefully ) condoning it as it continues to spread from person to person that injures themselves, ruining their life! Just to make themselves feel better, often to be enforced a coping mechanism. Spinal cord injury is not OK, just because YOU can "rebuild" a life out of so much less after years of morning as the mind warps and tries to adapt does not make it OK! there's nothing remotely OK about it! It's one of the worst things that can happen to anyone especially if it's a serious high cervical injury; we know this, we know the "dark days" so let's get rid of them as much as possible and let's make sure other people don't have to go through them. I don't hope for a future where disabilities are accepted and ramps are everywhere you turn, I hope for a futurewhere disabilities become treatable, where even the elderly very rarely need wheelchairs. The saddest part about SCI is just taught it's impossible so get used to setting expectations low and that's exactly what happens, so if that's what they want to do let them,it's unfortunate but who cares frankly I don't ever want to think like that! Science has come along way since I was injured in 2012 and it's only going to get better, so let's keep the ball rolling as the affected we are responsible to push!

    BTW I just want to say that I come from a perspective of almost complete dependency, truth be told I think very much differently of injuries that leave you still able to remain independent and to your own devices and resilience! Only a small percentage of SCIs are injured high enough and severely enough to be left dependent! Even though it's a small number, nobody deserves to be taken care of even at 80 years old but especially at 20, we all deserve the same freedom; that level of freedom cannot be reached through other people nurses, friends, parents, organizations when you can't even get yourself out of your chair doesn't matter.nonetheless every injury no matter how low needs to be treatable, it will happen; we just need to help! And we need it ASAP.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 05-01-2016 at 12:40 AM.

  3. #13
    Yes, science has to be pushed and supported. The founder of facebook San Parker has donated $250 Million dollars for cancer research and we need something like that for SCI. AIDS community pushed for cure so long and now HIV is treated with pills.

  4. #14
    Here it is something that GRAMMY posted which hopefully will become reality soon.

    “Polina Anikeeva hopes to one day be able to regenerate the spinal cord to restore movement for paralyzed people or possibly bypass the spinal cord altogether with a device that mimics its function. With support from the National Science Foundation (NSF), the materials scientist and her team at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) are engineering a nerve repair “tool kit,” with an eye toward repairing damaged nerves and even growing new ones.

  5. #15
    James, look for God and when you find Him talk to Him about the problem. You'll feel a hell of a lot better, maybe even enough to vote. Now I can't tell you who to vote for but can say, don't vote for Hillary!
    From the time you were born till you ride in a hearse, there is nothing so bad that it couldn't be worse!

    All fringe benifits must be authorized by Helen Waite, if you want your SCI fixed go to Helen Waite!

    Why be politically correct when you can be right!

  6. #16
    Republicans: tax cut for the rich and corporations, big military spending, and play the religion card a little so that you care for the average person. They do not care about anybody who makes less then $250K a year.

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by scimike View Post
    Republicans: tax cut for the rich and corporations, big military spending, and play the religion card a little so that you care for the average person. They do not care about anybody who makes less then $250K a year.
    Democrats: lack a fundamental understanding of economics.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Oldtimer View Post
    James, look for God and when you find Him talk to Him about the problem. You'll feel a hell of a lot better, maybe even enough to vote. Now I can't tell you who to vote for but can say, don't vote for Hillary!
    So talking to God is suddenly going to make me think a dependent (leech like) existence is dignified and acceptable? Where 6 inches of elevation is my prison and 10 pounds is my limit, oh please! My expectations are staying right where they should be. I begged and begged to "God" to heal me give me back my body, my independence and dignity , When he didn't do that I just simply begged for enough to have some freedom on my own! When that didn't happen I begged and prayed into the darkest of nights when I couldn't sleep because I couldn't even change my position to get comfortable or grab myself a glass of water without having to trouble another person;I just prayed for him to let me die, kill me, don't let me wake up, take what little dignity is left no more fucking bowel care!! No more! That crosses the fucking line! No more being a burden... Still nothing. So I awoke to be carried, I woke to be cleaned and dressed, I awoke to lose all self-respect as somebody dug into my asshole pulling the shitfrom my lifeless bodytaking every last shred of self-worth with it! Only to do it again the next day! If I decide I want to go out do something guess what; got to ask someone to help! Now I do everything I can to ask for as little as possible, has implications but the other option is not an option! God didnt show up, so I took it in to my hands ( figuratively as I couldn't possibly even if I wanted to ) ! I spent thousands and thousands of dollars to trouble someone to drive me to physiotherapy have the people exercise my dead body, positioning me where I can use my little function to support my bodyweight and attempt to manipulate myself and I tried it over and over and over again, tried advanced robotics,functional electrostimulation, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, magnetic therapy, acupuncture, visualization treatment etc. money coming out of me like Niagara Falls! Switched the controls of my wheelchair to my "bad" arm so I could attempt to train it constantly throughout the day, even when I'm not at physiotherapy. Got My own $5000 electro stim unit, wrist weights that just ended up destroying my shoulders. Drinking and eating only the healthiest and often disgusting food in hopes to help neurons fire. two years later still no improvements, then 3 1/2 years of that plus physiotherapy, and ungodly amount of money I still can't even pronate my right arm, I can't even move it in certain positions at all, no sensation has returned! turn off the lights I don't even know where my arms or hands are! I beat my leg till my crippled hands and legs were blue, not even the slightest sensation only excessive nerve pain and dysreflexia; my body's way of telling me what to do not the other way around. I continue to educate myself more and more, eventually asking God to simply let me win the lottery or let me win my court cases, so I can actually fight this, The only way that's possible with the injury as bad as mine considering I physically can't exercise myself... Still nothing... After all of those resources and effort I haven't even been able to achieve the function of a standard C-5 injury, even if it is complete, but still I continue! Four years post the only way possibleto gain independence with my injury is with the help of modern medicine, research etc. still asking God to help out,so I can help myself and the cause, because that will affect far more than just myself, again still nothing! I'm still asking the guy to kill me anyway he sees fit, there's no more dignity to leave with Way too late for that, but nope still no answer. Still gotta wake up and expect someone to get me up and ready. I don't need to walk anymore,I don't need to be a prime specimen anymore, I don't even need to fight anymore, would that give me purpose, would that make me happy absolutely but that's not what it's about anymore that's gone; it's gone for a lot of us!! What I do need is the function to be left to my own strength and resilience, so I can utilize those things, not somebody elses; just lay around helplessly as a lifeless Defenseless/dependent/useless head on dead body with a of mind of its own; be free to make my own decisions without waiting for someone else's approval or being a burden Every single fucking time. As you can see I've exhausted all options in terms of asking God for help, as the person I'am!

    Often times I think I must of done some terrible things in the past, to warrant this! Truth be told I did, I never listened to anyone I followed my own mind and my own path,only listen to others with similar strengths. I became obsessed with lifting more, running faster, jumping higher etc, of becoming a weapon! I didn't have time for trivial things like family dinners, birthday parties including my own; only thing that mattered was being able to do more, and learning how to bake myself able to do it. was it selfish absolutely!no denying that, but put someone I care about ( even though I've never show it affection is not my thing) in danger, aim a gun at them and see who steps in front of itwell all the more "affectionate" and "selfless" run to save them selves. If there is a God he knows who'd be there. But then I realize right now, there are terrorists beheading people, Paedophiles getting their next victim going on Scott free, sometimes never seeing any form of "justice"and that's just to name a few examples, we all know there's many. So it leads me to question God yet again, I don't believe in religion, because I don't believe in man and I see what religion has done to our history how many it's killed how much genocide has taken place in the name of it! But I know that our consciousness is not just a fluke, and there's something greater than us; not because I'm afraid of nothingness and our existence meaning nothing , like most people do. But simply because I just can't wrap my mind around consciousness being some simplistic natural anomaly! That's all I have to say about it...
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 05-01-2016 at 12:30 AM.

  9. #19
    Clinton comes in with a recession and leaves with budget surplus (then Bush gives two big tax cuts to the rich during the two wars which cost 2 trillion dollars and nothing to show for as it is a mess there on both places)
    Obama comes in with a market crash and economy is in very big trouble. Obama saves GM, unemployment about 5%. Yes democrats don't understand economics

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by scimike View Post
    Clinton comes in with a recession and leaves with budget surplus (then Bush gives two big tax cuts to the rich during the two wars which cost 2 trillion dollars and nothing to show for as it is a mess there on both places)
    Obama comes in with a market crash and economy is in very big trouble. Obama saves GM, unemployment about 5%. Yes democrats don't understand economics
    And Obama was going to cure Paralysis by pouring money into the NIH? Is this the politics thread? Unemployment at 5% with another 10% no longer even bothering to look for jobs? The Socialist Utopia will finally become reality in the good old USA?!?! LOL

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