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Thread: After funeral arrangements

  1. #1

    After funeral arrangements

    Good morning,

    I hope someone can offer some advice.
    My mother-in-law has had long term dementia, has been in a nursing home and seems to be in her last moments (renal failure, etc.).
    My wife is trying to be prepared. We hit a quandary -

    We want to provide a sit down luncheon in a local restaurant. The quandary is - how do we invite some at the funeral service without including everyone since that's an unpredictable number?

    Has anyone had experience with this. My personal experience in the past - in my family - is that everyone just congregated at someone's home.
    But that is not an option here.


  2. #2
    Send a personal invitation (with an RSVP request) to the people you want at the restaurant. Do not mention this in any announcements of the services (which I assume are open to everyone). Ask those invited to not announce they are going to another event at the services (including the officiant).

    Sorry for this loss. It is so difficult to loose parents, even when you have both been anticipating this for some time.


  3. #3
    I would ask the people at the funeral home. They deal with all sorts of arrangements and are likely to have some suggestions.
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @

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  4. #4
    Thanks so much! I'm trying to help my wife through this.
    First she had to take care of me post-SCI and then her mom started descending into dementia.

  5. #5
    Oyeah the funeral home will know what to do in that case. I would think an announcement of something like family is welcome to join us at such and such place.
    T6 Incomplete due to a Spinal cord infarction July 2009

  6. #6
    Not everyone uses a funeral home. For example, for both my parents, we had them cremated through a local cremation society (which they had pre-purchased) and my sister and I arranged a memorial service at a local facility that was not a mortuary, and a restaurant meal for close family nearby. We had no mortuary involved at all. Having a funeral at a church would also not require a mortuary to be involved if there is not going to be a casket or viewing (with embalming, etc.).


  7. #7
    Thanks again. Pat passed last night. My wife has gotten family leave time and, as usual, is taking care of all the details. I'm a contractor, so I'm working as much as I can - no leave.
    Looks like things will get sorted out.
    There'll be a viewing and then mass on Saturday. I think my wife is going to verbally invite those closest.

  8. #8
    Sorry to hear...prayers for all...

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