Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18

Thread: When did *I* become the wimpy patient? (rant)

  1. #11
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2,691
    Hey guys. Thank you for the support. Here is my update.

    On Saturday I had an ultrasound. It was very painful. The technician was terrific, very nice, thorough and professional but he pushed so hard on the device I was squirming. Right in the most painful spots too. That makes sense since those are the areas he wanted to describe. I hadn't bled since that Monday but getting home after the test I bled a lot. A real lot. After a few hours I was clear again.

    I haven't been bleeding since then and my lower abdominal pain is less each day so I have been putting off making my appointment with my doctor to talk about the results of the x-rays and ultra-sound. Actually I am using denial. I am thinking that if what my partner said about sometimes eating food that's good for you means eating food that isn't healthy but makes you feel better might also apply here. I mean, if not thinking about things makes me feel better in the moment maybe it's the right way to go. If my symptoms were worsening I would call the doctor of course. Also, she did say that I was to make an appointment after the test but that if either test showed anything urgent they would contact me immediately. So I am thinking I will put this off a little while. I was scared to death at the test which is confusing to me since I've been trough so many exams and procedures in the last 25 years. I don't know what change has come over me but suddenly exam rooms are freaking me out.

    Something I did not tell my partner was that there have been a few times in the last weeks when I decided to wait and whatever happened, happened. I made that choice once about 15 years ago when I was bleeding. I couldn't take another hospital visit at the time so I left a simple note at home and went out for the day.

    Our bodies are our choices. Having loved ones changes a lot and I feel that but in the end it is up to me if I want to get stuck or probed or cut. Sometimes I might make the choice that I want to stay away from doctors for a while and wait it out. A friend of mine frequently reminds his doctor not to tell him about certain test results. It could kill my friend if he doesn't get the info but he made the decision years ago that he would rather not know, just live his life. He has been lucky and nothing has happened yet and maybe never will but I wonder if for anyone living with a disability if at some point you decide there is what you will and won't do. I don't judge anyone for going either way - fighting and doing anything that might help or choosing the opposite and going gently along even if it means, into the night.

    I think this qualifies as another rant, let me know if anyone gets tired of hearing them. :-)

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by grommet View Post

    I think this qualifies as another rant, let me know if anyone gets tired of hearing them. :-)
    I didn't hear anything remotely resembling a rant. Sounds all very sober and reflective to me. Hope you feel better soon.

  3. #13
    Doesn't sound like a rant to me, either. We have to make decisions based on a number of things that our partners might not fully appreciate. It can be such a tough call.
    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

  4. #14
    Echoing what Stephen and Bonnette said - not a rant, very reflective. Sorry that you are having to go through this.

  5. #15
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2,691
    Update

    Just off the phone with the doctor. Kidney stone on the left, complicated cyst in the right kidney. My appointment with the nephrologist is in 2 weeks. Doctor says they will probably need to do a CT. She doesn't know why I am having the severe lower abdominal pain and so is referring me to a Urologist, they will let me know when the appointment is made.

    Yesterday the abdominal pain grew all day until is was horrible by nighttime but after laying in bed for a while it got much better.

    My doctor is terrible at explaining things. She didn't tell me what a cyst was or why they needed to monitor it. She just kept saying they needed to. I asked why. What does it mean to have this cyst. She only repeated herself. Very frustrating. Also, with the pain, will it be okay for several weeks or am I going to have a middle-of-the-night scream and run to the ER? Answers mean a lot, not having them leaves everything open.

    I do not know what is going on. And my partner and I are fighting so she doesn't want to hear from me. I think I am having Thanksgiving alone with kidney problems and wondering what this is all going to mean in the end. These could be a rough few months or, something more simple. I don't know. The doctor did say something about a camera being placed inside me and said it was simple. I wonder if she could lay on the table next to me and have the same procedure done while I have mine and she could describe how simple it is for her.

    I know I don't want to be in pain. I know I miss my girlfriend. Everything else I am not sure about. Silly extreme thought but one that is growing in me, am I a walking time-bomb, I mean past the hyperbole of that, is something awful coming my way? I don't care about fair, that's a rookie thing. I'm no rookie. I just don't know what is really going to happen to me and if I have what it takes to go through it all. Thank god I am not bored. I remember being a kid, hanging out with all my friends and we all thought we might die of boredom on some summer day. Being grown up and sick, it isn't boring. This is going to be an interesting day. I guess for a while, everything is going to feel interesting. I think I need to cover myself in dollar bills and walk around a bad part of town.

  6. #16
    Except for the chick, your troubles can be managed. Cysts are useless growths unless they are growing. Growing could be a capital C concern and would a reason to monitor it,might be others. I had one for years which eventually just went away. Mine was in a location that was better left alone than operate than remove. The stones are more difficult and are what are probably causing the bleeding since you did not mention more information from the doctor. But unless they are too large, you'll pee them out. That will hurt too, a lot. If not there are other ways to get rid of them. I don't know if they still break them with sound or not. Just be careful of who you let work on you.
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

  7. #17
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2,691
    Thanks for the info on cysts. The doctor said the stone isn't creating a blockage and I am hoping they will treat is as soon as possible. I have passed kidney stones before and it's the worst paint I have ever felt. I would like it if they could stop that before it happened. I guess the thing that scares me most is the lower abdominal pain. I've not felt anything like it. I can only hope it's something benign or connect to kidney stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by nonoise View Post
    Except for the chick, your troubles can be managed. Cysts are useless growths unless they are growing. Growing could be a capital C concern and would a reason to monitor it,might be others. I had one for years which eventually just went away. Mine was in a location that was better left alone than operate than remove. The stones are more difficult and are what are probably causing the bleeding since you did not mention more information from the doctor. But unless they are too large, you'll pee them out. That will hurt too, a lot. If not there are other ways to get rid of them. I don't know if they still break them with sound or not. Just be careful of who you let work on you.

  8. #18
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2,691
    Haven't been able to post or do much, hopefully this will be over soon. Saw specialist yesterday, he says I need surgery. Says the specialist I am seeing on Friday needs to be the one to schedule it but it should happen quickly. Right now I would like some morphine. Something I haven't taken in years. I have almost two Vicodin down and they aren't quite doing the job yet. Spoke to my doctor again this morning and she repeated that if it gets too bad I am to go to the ER. So tonight I am really hoping the Vicodin will be enough because I really do not want to go to the ER.

    Keeping a pretty positive attitude actually. Pain isn't making me depressed it's just hurting like hell. Getting confirmation yesterday from the specialist, who has an office in a really cool building by the way, helped me feel better. Knowing is better than not knowing and finding out that there is surgery that will help and I can have it soon is helping me a lot. Still, tonight I am really trying to stay home instead of the hospital. I never ever thought I would miss morphine. Never liked the stuff when I had it and in fact left the bottle pretty full until I eventually threw it out.

    One good thing about liquid morphine sulphate I do remember, the only good thing, is how incredibly fast it worked. Maybe if I ever get my hands on the stuff again, I'll keep it around for 'just in case'. Actually feeling good in just about every other way, health has been improving very nicely. So this one last thing out of the way, some after surgery pain and then I should be in very good shape. I think I am rambling a bit now but I do have a bunch of Vicodin in me and if it isn't helping much with the pain it might be making me loopy though I can't feel that right now either.

    So that's the update and really I'm writing more for the comfort. Better soon though if I could tonight, I might just call Dr. Nick Riviera for a good hack job. For those of you not familiar, he's an accomplished physician on The Simpsons. And I leave you with my favorite quote from The Simpsons, Homer looking out the window and seeing that the shape he saw was neither of the things he hoped it would be and he said and I shall ever remember it, "D'oh, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream." I'm with you there buddy and with that I think the Vicodin is at least taking me to Homer Simpson land. ;-)

Similar Threads

  1. UTI rant
    By dewie27 in forum Care
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-02-2010, 03:20 PM
  2. a rant.. sorry
    By bbs in forum Care
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 07-23-2008, 05:19 PM
  3. Patient-To-Patient HCV Transmission Traced To Colonoscopy
    By Raven in forum Health & Science News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-10-2006, 12:17 AM
  4. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-12-2002, 01:21 PM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-10-2002, 12:02 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •