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Thread: Inspiration, "you're so strong" haha

  1. #21
    I have briefly known others more disabled than I am who had pretty incredible support from friends and family and they came across as happy, positive, excited people. My support system is about zilch, and that causes me so much stress and sadness, and stress causes my condition to exacerbate, and people back away even farther. Vicious cycle.[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. A disability in itself doesn't necessarily make you unhappy, but it sure as shit predisposes you to unhappiness.

    Dating is harder, making friends is harder, financial stuff is harder, not to mention all the physical nastiness and pain that comes along with you individual affliction.

    Sure you can still be happy, but on average we're bound to be less happy than the average healthy person. As with most things in life, a lot of it is a numbers game, and we've got the deck stacked against us.

  2. #22
    --Spoken words: "you're so strong" or "you're an inspiration".

    -- What they're thinking when saying that: "wow, your life must be a f*ing nightmare. All day in a chair...for life. My life isn't so bad after all. At least I'm not you. Thank god that's not me!!"

  3. #23
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Don't have any support system here. Good days and bad. You get used to it.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Sarafino View Post
    I wonder sometimes if each of us has a 'happiness set point' and being disabled just makes it more obvious, whether you are a depressive or a happy person. Part of it must have something to do with one's 'support system' combined with their natural demeanor. I used to be pretty happy, but as I become more disabled (nerve disease) I have noticed people back away so the more I need a support system the more I find I don't have one, and it is crushing. I have briefly known others more disabled than I am who had pretty incredible support from friends and family and they came across as happy, positive, excited people. My support system is about zilch, and that causes me so much stress and sadness, and stress causes my condition to exacerbate, and people back away even farther. Vicious cycle.
    I hear you on that one. I pride myself on my independence and self-reliance but when you're trying to sleep on the bathroom floor, crying in pain and after projectile vomiting on the shower curtain and pissed yourself at the same time because you couldn't make it to the toilet either way and you're too screwed to clean it up, let alone pick yourself up, yeah some sort of support system would be *somewhat* comforting (besides the cat meowing for food...ok maybe it's useful to remind you you're still alive and not yet in hell).

    But it's life, could be worse, just gotta keep going I guess...until you can't or they find you on the floor days later when it's too late. So better gotta get your **** together because no one else is going to do it for you no matter how much you ask for help! I've even had a specialist give me a hard time for not bringing moral support....when in reality I was half a hour late for said appointment because a friend never showed, so I waited like an idiot hoping and ultimately I had to pay to cab there. The health care system assumes and depends on you to have people at home to help you when it's not always the case and that in itself is almost worse than having no support, being reminded you have none and made to feel like it's your fault and then you start wondering where you went wrong or if you deserve it. I seriously hope everyone who has someone who stands by their side through it all is thankful for it!
    Last edited by twistties; 10-05-2015 at 02:58 AM.

  5. #25
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twistties View Post
    The health care system assumes and depends on you to have people at home to help you when it's not always the case and that in itself is almost worse than having no support, being reminded you have none and made to feel like it's your fault and then you start wondering where you went wrong or if you deserve it.
    This. I find myself explaining how I can't get in people's homes - co-worker's homes or keep up in going out because of inaccessibility ... so how was I supposed to foster and keep those friendships? Hit the nail on the head. Still prefer my solitude though.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #26
    I am fortunate to have a support system consisting of my wife, children and caregivers through an agency. That doesn't necessarily equate to happiness though. There's nothing like the feeling of being a burden. Nothing beats that feeling of being completely independent and helpful to one who requires help for just about everything. Also have to wonder how happy my wife is now that "I'm still here". Oh what fun.

  7. #27
    People that need or rely on support, not inspirational.v case closed! Nowhere man I agree with what you said, I just wish that the balls to say that instead of some bullshit, shockingly that would be very refreshing and put a smile on my face.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    I think whether someone is inspirational, or not, has more to do with the attitude with which they face their circumstances than their circumstances alone.
    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

    "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

  9. #29
    Ah oddity, didn't expect to see you back but of course you pick your entrances wisely and jumping just at the right moment to give your oh so inspiring opinion. I think what someone does is the only role. But then again according to you being courageous is just facing ones fear, doesn't matter with that fear is, could be shaving cream could be a tiger doesn't matter both are courageous when faced with a positive attitude

  10. #30
    Senior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    Ah oddity, didn't expect to see you back but of course you pick your entrances wisely and jumping just at the right moment to give your oh so inspiring opinion. I think what someone does is the only role. But then again according to you being courageous is just facing ones fear, doesn't matter with that fear is, could be shaving cream could be a tiger doesn't matter both are courageous when faced with a positive attitude
    And yet where would I be without you to serve up these softballs for me...we make a great team!

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

    "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

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