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Thread: Transgender etiquette question

  1. #21
    My nephew (formerly niece) is in the process of going from female to male. Using the "wrong" gender pronoun or calling him 'Francis' instead of 'Fred' (not the real name) elicits a disproportionate response. Interestingly enough more so from his parent than him. Logically, if I suddenly decided that I wanted people to call me "Bob" instead of the name I have had since birth getting mad at people who called me my old name out of habit would be a bit silly. However transgendered people face a lot of discrimination even from gays and lesbians so I cut them some slack.

    To answer your original question, if you want to be "PC" or just simply polite you should not have used the term "misogynistic" since you normally wouldn't use that term for one woman being rude to another. You should have said she was being a "bitch" as well.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by t8burst View Post
    My nephew (formerly niece) is in the process of going from female to male. Using the "wrong" gender pronoun or calling him 'Francis' instead of 'Fred' (not the real name) elicits a disproportionate response. Interestingly enough more so from his parent than him. Logically, if I suddenly decided that I wanted people to call me "Bob" instead of the name I have had since birth getting mad at people who called me my old name out of habit would be a bit silly. However transgendered people face a lot of discrimination even from gays and lesbians so I cut them some slack.
    Some trans people go through that phase of being extremely sensitive to slip-ups, especially early on in transition and to some extent, the people closest to them as well. Glad to hear the parent is supportive, many are not so lucky. Some people mellow out and others don't but for the most part it I would like to think it gets easier (or even a non-issue) as time goes on. Think about it, transition an exciting but scary as heck time as well. It doesn't always go smoothly and there are a lot of insecurities and unknowns. And you're right from relatives' point of view, it is somewhat unrealistic to expect people to change their habits so quick when they are close to you (of course it's difficult) but your nephew has probably been aware of his identity for years (unlike those around him). He probably wishes everyone would be on the same page in terms of progression as he is because he's probably waited a long time to be open about things and now that he can be, it's easy to want everything to happen as quick as possible. As for the parent, well what parent wouldn't want to make their child's life easier? Everyone deals with things in their own way I suppose.

    I'm sure everyone will get there in time and the situation will become ''the new normal"

  3. #23
    Senior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I was 12. Maybe that's the difference. I didn't speak to my brother for 20yrs when he said I was a cripple. We've been chatting again since 2011 but he still uses the word knowing how I feel about it.

    He's also a racist narrow minded prick but he has no one else, so I deal.

    Once I've made it known, it's rude and disrespectful to continue its use.

    It's certainly more understandable for a young woman, especially at 12 years of age. That can be a fragile enough point in life and identity much less having to deal with SCI and an asshole brother. I agree, when someone knows something bothers you and they do it anyway, then they're being rude. How you react to their rudeness is more a gauge of how much control their ignorance has over you than anything else. As a grown ass man, I say, "Someone's ignorance doesn't deserve any influence over my state of mind." Gotta know who you are regardless of the what other's might say (out of ignorance or rudeness).
    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

    "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by nonoise View Post
    I feel sorry the pets were treated this way, but calling 911 four times is outrageous. It's okay to slam this woman any way you want to get her attention.
    I agree.

    But what does this have to do with the possible torture of animals in a legal pet shop. Why not wait until the store is open and go in and make a complaint rather than some name calling with some stupid bitch on the phone who is SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING PEOPLE. Call the Animal Control department. Regarding the pets, no matter if the complainer is male female or both or neither.

    Then call the 911 supervisor and make a complaint. Maybe then get a thread going about transgender folks and PC-ness. Nothing wrong with being who you are. If born a man or woman, there can be DNA cross messages about gender leading to serious confusion to the person involved, and to those who harbor deep anger towards those different than themselves. Now I must return to my 'spare time'.
    Gary Is = L-1 Para for 34 years.....................
    ~~~~~~~~~~

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    Maybe Pat or Chris was right and she really was a heartless bitch. I dunno, I think PC was so 1980's, nowadays...??? I think it must be a regional thing with political correctness. If someone came up to me in person telling this tale of a casual conversation that turned into a misogynist witchhunt I'd slowly back away and promptly exit in fear of whatever instability is causing these views might escalate into something, umm, weird.

    But that's just me...call me an a-hole if you wish
    I agree, you said it as it is; "If someone came up to me in person telling this tale of a casual conversation that turned into a misogynist witchhunt I'd slowly back away and promptly exit in fear of whatever instability is causing these views might escalate into something, umm, weird."

    I agree with the backing away part and yet here I am putting myself in "whatever instability is causing these views might escalate into something". I'm the weird one maybe?
    Gary Is = L-1 Para for 34 years.....................
    ~~~~~~~~~~

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