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Thread: Worried about my daughter

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Elaine1965 View Post
    We live within Wellington county.

    She is a loner mostly. That has always been a staple of her personality.

    She he has never really had significant "hobbies" and her interests are unknown as she never mentions any. I believe she just goes through the motions of life rather than participating or enjoying anything in particular which is why I strongly believe she has I diagnosed clinical depression. Perhaps some even before her SCI as her personality has always been slightly indicative of such.
    If she was a loner before her injury she may have an autism spectrum disorder. But hanging a label on her is not going to solve the problem. One way or another depression is likely a factor. She probably can benefit from being pushed a bit. Do you do things like shopping with her? Take her to lunch or dinner if that fits your schedule. Do whatever you can to get her back into mainstream activities. Because she will not initiate activities you will have to be a bit assertive. Having a dog or pet is very therapeutic for some people. However, the risk of trying that is ending up with a neglected animal. Has she ever had a pet before that might give you a sense of how she might react to that idea? Bring up the idea and she how she responds. In the end, she is going to have to develop socialization skills. She will not be able to get by for the long term if she is not able to build and manage a support system. Above all take care of yourself. Don't try to fight the battle alone.
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  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by SCIfor55yrs. View Post
    If she was a loner before her injury she may have an autism spectrum disorder. But hanging a label on her is not going to solve the problem. One way or another depression is likely a factor. She probably can benefit from being pushed a bit. Do you do things like shopping with her? Take her to lunch or dinner if that fits your schedule. Do whatever you can to get her back into mainstream activities. Because she will not initiate activities you will have to be a bit assertive. Having a dog or pet is very therapeutic for some people. However, the risk of trying that is ending up with a neglected animal. Has she ever had a pet before that might give you a sense of how she might react to that idea? Bring up the idea and she how she responds. In the end, she is going to have to develop socialization skills. She will not be able to get by for the long term if she is not able to build and manage a support system. Above all take care of yourself. Don't try to fight the battle alone.
    She was tested for Asperger's when she was 17 pretty extensively. We drove out of city to a facility where they interviewed her and gave her tests while several psychologists observe her speech and behaviour through a mirror. They came to the conclusion that she did not have it as she didn't have the traits needed for diagnosis. Her voice isn't monotone, she has no obsessive interests, sensory issues and her two way social interaction is normal. It's very perplexing.

    I took her out for breakfast today actually and brought her some pre-made salads and hot dinners she could just microwave.

  3. #23
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Cooking classes together might be a way to get her out. Sorry about the situation .. talk about double whammy.
    Make America Sane Again. lol

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  4. #24
    I just don't want her to die which is why I hover over her. I know she can not emotionally manage herself at this time and needs help. I know people will say "she's an adult, let her be" - but I don't think people understand. She may be an adult chronologically but emotionally she is still in her teens. You'd have to meet her and interact with her to see what I mean. She doesn't have any kind of intellectual disability or anything (this isn't what I mean) but somehow she never emotionally matured to an adult level. SCI influenced this to some degree but not all. This is why I wish we could get a court order to look after her somehow (but this would be impossible).

    I would love for her to further her education (we'd pay for it 100%) get a career and live the best quality of life with an SCI as possible. There are many other successful people with paralysis and I hope she can be one of them.

  5. #25
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    If she is/was the sporty type wheelchair rugby could be worth looking into. A great way to interact with others and see what is possible. Plus it's awesome fun !

  6. #26
    I agree with the post above that mentioned a service dog. dog's love unconditionally and can bring out the best in people. best wishes to you and your daughter
    pbr

  7. #27
    Sounds like she has nothing to live for right now. But it also sounds like even though you are trying hard to help her survive and improve her life she is still depressed just sitting trying to avoid reality with food and alcohol and not looking forward to build her future. Sorry I do not have a solution on this. I am a high para post 32 years. I know that right after my injury my folks hovered over me so much about the only power I felt was when I would not do what they asked me too. So I avoided reality for a year or 2 post injury but it got old and began to feel kind of a burning in my tummy that got me daydreaming again and my thinking started to be about moving out of folks house which I did and got into a peer group of fellow people in chairs. just sitting talking with peers, especially SCI is so important. Sure 5 even 10 years post I was still depressed and leaving reality on a regular basis but I was also growing up and discovering life and gradually improving how I saw myself. We all have our story to live. On the look back I so wished I had done more of what my folks asked of me but I had to live my own story. Yes my life has had some peaks and valleys but I got through them. I hope your daughter is someday going to look back on this time as something she grew from, not just the pain and suffering.
    Good wishes

    PS I would take her to a pets store might spark her imagination because a service dog can be such a help to people who isolate.

  8. #28
    I have an update on everything. At the beginning of 2016 she had a major psychological assessment over the span of two weeks and as it turns out she is one the Autism spectrum (I mentioned two years back that she was previously tested for Asperger's as a teen but it was not diagnosed- likely she "hid" it well). It does explain her mental rigidity and self isolation which we all thought was more SCI related than it actually was.

    In in terms of her suicidality that has dwindled over the last year. I have not heard her mention it once. She had a lot of bowel issues over 2017 which was severe enough for her to be referee to a GI specialist and these days she is very careful of what she chooses to eat. She is also back living with us so we can help her out more. I would still like to see her go back to school and develop peer relationship but that is not where things seems to be going. Anyway, thank you for your concerned replies in this thread.

  9. #29
    Senior Member djrolling's Avatar
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    Thanks for updating us on your daughter. I wish I had some advice for you but I do not beyond what has already been shared

  10. #30
    thanks for the update. i have been wondering about her. glad things seem better.
    T6 Incomplete due to a Spinal cord infarction July 2009

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