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Thread: Is verbal abuse by a caregiver illegal?

  1. #1

    Is verbal abuse by a caregiver illegal?

    I am on a state run private pay system and I have a caregiver who yells at me and threatens to quit and not train another person to help me, is that illegal?

  2. #2
    This would probably depend on what state you're in, so that might be worth posting, though I don't know that it is illegal in any state.

    The main question would be do you really want to have your caregiver thrown in jail? That seems a sure fired way to assure that they quit and do not train another person to help you.

  3. #3
    I doubt it is illegal, but it certainly is not appropriate, and I will bet that your state program has some rule about verbal abuse or emotional abuse.

    Do you choose/hire the caregiver or are they assigned to you without any input by you? Do you have a case manager/contact at the state program?

    If you pick or hire the person, notify them you will be firing them, and notify the agency that you have fired the person (so they don't pay them anymore).

    I hope you have not given this person a key. If you have, change the locks.

    Be prepared to find someone else to replace them ASAP, and to train that person yourself. You should be able to do this if you know your care needs.

    (PS: if you had a more complete profile that included the country and state in which you reside, you could get better answers)


  4. #4
    Agree with SCI-Nurse. This is not acceptable behavior from your employee. You are the boss of the caregiver. It's important that you can provide your own instructions to a caregiver. Is it possible to have a friend assist you in writing up (typed up preferred) a detailed list of what is needed, hours required, etc. and have a new person read, and sign your copy? It wouldn't hurt to keep this in a notebook, along with any notes you or caregiver may want to enter.
    It's a business contract between you and the caregiver.

  5. #5
    I can't figure out how to update my profile, but I live in Colorado, and I'm a c4 quad. I am in the process of training a new girl but she needs a few more weeks. The caregiver who yells at me has been with me for 3 years. Just in the last 3 months she started being like this. This last time she did this to me, my friend who is also in a chair was here. It's getting to be so emotionally stressful, I have considered suicide.

    Yes I do choose and hire my own help.
    Last edited by Willyg; 05-03-2015 at 10:33 AM.

  6. #6
    Select "Profile" from the top bar on this page.
    Select "About me", and then click on the little edit icon (looks like a pen) to change anything on your profile. You cannot change your user name, but otherwise you can change or update just about all of it.

    Notify the state agency of your intent to fire this person, and why. They should be able to flag this person as someone not to hire again. Speed up your new attendant training if possible, and get rid of this person. Have you already given them notice that they will be replaced? You need to be prepared that when you do so, they may quit suddenly. Try to have someone with you when you tell them.


  7. #7
    Ok, thank you. I will do that.

  8. #8
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Is there any family/friend who can be there to help with the training so that you can fire this person as fast as possible?

    Please report this person. What she is doing is terrible.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Joe-MN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Twin Cities, MN , USA
    Just a thought. You said this caregiver was fine until about 3 months ago. If they really were fine, and this is a sudden change, what happened? Something in the situation with you, or did the caregivers person life/situation change? May be worthwhile to investigate, though given how they are acting now would lead me to find a new caregiver, the sooner the better, even if you figure out what caused the change in behavior/attitude.
    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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