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Thread: Denial, submissiveness, giving in, indignity, pride, comparable life/existence, time.

  1. #1

    Denial, submissiveness, giving in, indignity, pride, comparable life/existence, time.

    Right now my younger sister is having friends over from the sound of it having a blast. A few of my close friends are in a tournament gonna fight for medals and trophies. Best friend in BC hitting the mountains probably partying his face off and/ or getting laid. Girl I've become very close with, is Niagara fall partying away free from restraint. I'am happy for them, really. that's life, that's how it should be... Envy finds its way though, justifiable. Here I'am 23, Saturday night just striped and lifted into tilting bed with safety rails of course. Diaper pad under my ass, bag collecting my piss. Watching a movie, waiting for my inevitable disgraceful ass picking...

    That's life, comparable or equal tho...I don't see it lol!
    Where does the time go.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Acceptance...
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  3. #3
    In this situation acceptance is the powdered down rehab approved version of giving in... The thought of following that path Is revolting for me. The whole assisted suicide thing in my country has caused a small hick-up among a few supposed disabled activists (ironically the law was brought back to court by The first quadriplegic Parliament member lol) these activists are using a saying "better dead then disabled" obviously to oppose, but once you hit a certain level and severity I couldn't agree more with that statement personally.

    Iam hurting my body indirectly because I can't stand asking for help anymore, it's so degrading, and I'm sick of burdening people whether I pay them or not, especially when they whine or complain, justifiable though. So I minimize doing it, but eventually they help, or I lowered myself to ask fing bladder pills are awful for dry mouth, can't stand thirst etc. Not trying to hurt myself, quite the opposite I'm trying to keep this body as healthy as possible for a treatment or clinical trial. But no matter what I do I can't stop the disintegrating and rotting, making a treatment even farther than it already is, eventually unattainable. From what I've been reading many are realizing this. LOTTO LUCK.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 03-08-2015 at 08:29 PM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Other people do this too. Some are worse off. If you've got the money, that's half the battle. Contact Michael Fehlings in Toronto and get a tour of his lab and work. See how you can advance things. It will give you something to do instead of ruminating over your predicament .. of which a lot of people on this site have it a lot worse.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    In this situation acceptance is the powdered down rehab approved version of giving in... The thought of following that path Is revolting for me. The whole assisted suicide thing in my country has caused a small hick-up among a few supposed disabled activists (ironically the law was brought back to court by The first quadriplegic Parliament member lol) these activists are using a saying "better dead then disabled" obviously to oppose, but once you hit a certain level and severity I couldn't agree more with that statement personally.

    Iam hurting my body indirectly because I can't stand asking for help anymore, it's so degrading, and I'm sick of burdening people whether I pay them or not, especially when they whine or complain, justifiable though. So I minimize doing it, but eventually they help, or I lowered myself to ask fing bladder pills are awful for dry mouth, can't stand thirst etc. Not trying to hurt myself, quite the opposite I'm trying to keep this body as healthy as possible for a treatment or clinical trial. But no matter what I do I can't stop the disintegrating and rotting, making a treatment even farther than it already is, eventually unattainable. From what I've been reading many are realizing this. LOTTO LUCK.


    I think we all have been where you are now at some point. I think the only way out is to fine some kind of purpose or goal for your life. There's not much we can do with our bodies so try to broaden your mind. With the internet, there is lots of opportunities out there for our situation. And that's just one suggestion. I came to grasp with my situation once I figured out I'm not that same guy I was. And I needed to figure out who that new guy was. And what he was able to do.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    Other people do this too. Some are worse off. If you've got the money, that's half the battle. Contact Michael Fehlings in Toronto and get a tour of his lab and work. See how you can advance things. It will give you something to do instead of ruminating over your predicament .. of which a lot of people on this site have it a lot worse.
    Yes you are definitely right, and I realize that an injury could be higher leaving people on ventilators. But that doesn't change the fact that my injury height and severity, keeps me dependent on someone every day for degrading procedures, and forced to ask for aid. because of adaptive equipment my options aren't much greater. Pulling the who has it worse card is meaningless, we can have our sympathies but in the end the only life struggles we have to deal with our own, and we all interpret them differently some don't mind asking for aid (they don't see shame it it, they don't feel like a leech living off other healthy people or a weaker pathetic specimen), and are okay with being dependent and don't find it degrading, The degrading part is partially denial obviously but whatever. But I do that's me, we only see through our own eyes not somebody else's, seeing somebody sicker or with a higher injury gets my sympathies but doesn't change my perspective.

    That is an excellent idea! I have made many attempts to contact him, even tried to get him as my neurosurgeon dealing with my synrix. After six months plus my Dr. demanded i look to another. But that is something I would actually enjoy. I only have the money, because I am not willing or able to give in or submit to a dependent life permanently therefore I am willing to spend everything towards research and or treatments. But if I am going I would very much like to leave behind a generous donation to the researcher of my choice to hopefully benefit others living with SCI now or in the future humans do not deserve nor our ment/ designed to live like this, rather than waste it on futile unapproved treatments for myself.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 03-10-2015 at 07:27 PM.

  7. #7
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    By advancing, I meant politically. Legislatively. Are there funds from Careless Driving that go to research for spinal cord injury? If so why not? Speeding tickets? Job one.

    What does Fehlings need. What are they currently working on I his lab?

    I've no clue. He's on Twitter and answers with 24hrs.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  8. #8
    Good question that should be put in place. I don't really know what's going on in his life unfortunately. I don't use Twitter, I refuse to, bad enough I use Facebook.

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