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Thread: Baby due in 10 weeks!! This quad needs advice

  1. #1

    Baby due in 10 weeks!! This quad needs advice

    I need advice about anything and everything! What products are great for quad parents? What were you not able to do by yourself? What was he most difficult thing either physically or mentally? Did your spouse get stressed by the extra responsibility. Are there clothes that are easier to put on? Diapers that are easier to put on? I need to seriously learn everything not only as a quad but as a woman that was always the youngest in the family and didn't babysit. SO NERVOUS AND EXCITED!


    Btw I have zero finger function, strong wrists and biceps, weak triceps, zero core muscles.

    My biggest fears involve sleep and pain. I have insomnia.

  2. #2
    Can you get a referral to a good OT? Our OTs teach adaptive child and infant care techniques specific to your individual needs, and can also consult on equipment.

    Additional on-line resources you may find helpful are here:

    http://www.lookingglass.org/

    http://disabledparentsnetwork.org.uk/

    http://www.disabledparents.net/

    http://www.disabilityresources.org/PARENTS-WITH.html

    (KLD)

  3. #3
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Some of the parents on this site are your best resource! Em Silva is on Facebook - she's not around here anymore. She has raised both of her daughters with her husband as caregiver.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  4. #4
    love the folks at through the looking glass! they are an excellent resource.

    my biggest issue was car seats and feeling like I wouldn't be able to get them buckled in safely so I didn't even start to try until they were about 3 though in hindsight I probably could have been fine at age 2. baby wearing was great. at first I had a sling type thing then as they got more control I used a really long moby to wrap around my chair and myself and the baby/ies to hold us in.

    It isn't wrong to use your teeth to dress and diaper change your baby.

    my husband knew that he would be taking on more of the hands on tasks when the boys were infants, but as they have gotten older I have taken on more. remember the newborn, helpless infancy stage lasts such a short time compared to a lifetime of parenting. by 18 months my boys could climb up into my laps by themselves.

    any specific questions? Feel free to pm me. I am about the same level as you I think and my boys are now 7. Good luck!!

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Wheelchair Mommy Blog and YouTube channel seem to have good info. Her notes say that she is actually an L1/2 para, but I think the ways could be adapted for a quad too. I also did a whole bunch of research but could *not* find out what brand of car seat that was in the video, darn.

    I would suggest, if you have not gotten the car seat yet, to go to a place that has several models and try them out. Some brands are easier to work than others. I have also been told that at least in the Graco line, the 5-point harness system is the same across the lineup, simplifying parents need to tax their tired brains!! (A friend of mine is having a second baby, and I asked if they wanted to duplicate the car seat to avoid any securement mishaps.)

    They also make stroller/car seat combinations now, that have bases that stay strapped into the car. I don't have a baby but this combination would be really nice if you have your own transport or if there is sufficient room in front of your chair on public transport (we are advised to use tiny folding umbrella strollers here, and transit officials want the child on your lap).

    Background on me: I do not have my own baby (will have to adopt if I want to - long story) - and due to Cerebral Palsy cannot pick up / safely hold tiny infants, IMO. But I can set up my arms to hold the baby as long as I'm sitting on something first, and then have the parent "put" the baby in my arms. Then the parent must be able to "take" the baby from me as the key to not having any mishaps is to not move my arms. Or to possibly be in a deep sunken/supportive couch, hmm, haven't tried that yet. Several of my friends have babies though, ranging from tiny infants to toddlers now, and toddlers I can pick up and they do not pose many issues.

    Tips and tricks: I have found babies in car seats (while I am watching them briefly, when parents are otherwise occupied...not babysitting) - to be most effective, rather than a baby out of the car seat if they are not old enough to be lifted in certain ways yet. Of course this method will not work for a parent, but it is nice for rocking and jiggling!

    Also, consider front frame padding (leg angle and top of frame between cushion and bend) - when your baby gets to move on his/her own. I once was in the right place at the right time and caught a kid who fell off one of the specialized "kid carts" at Target. As he was falling, I was close enough to slam the front end of my chair into the kid cart attachment, and it hooked on and put him on my legs! Big Sister had to get him, and Mom had to be told several times NOT to remove the cart until Big Sister could remove him (otherwise he'd fall the rest of the way to the floor) - but at least it was better than a direct fall to the concrete floor from 36 inches up, IMO. He fell about 18 inches maybe and ended up with a big red mark on the back of his head (and some ice). I don't know if that was from the front of my chair or the kid cart (could have been either). If padding had been there, it may have hurt less (if he actually landed on my chair and got the mark).

    Also watch little hands and fingers when you're rolling as the kiddos grow. You may need to "block" these, especially at the front casters. I worry about the casters most with little hands because the axle is right there and I have difficulty seeing it at all times unless I'm looking...I am considering "boxing" my casters with removable (and wide) plastic coverings, should I return to work with toddlers / young kids again. Wheelchair Mommy writes about it and says she was able to teach her kids to keep their fingers out of her wheels - great! Generally the kids I reach out to are either too young to be taught something like that, or they're old enough to not do it.

    One way I can pick up slightly older kids (toddlers, not infants) is to grab them by their core (not limbs!) and gently lift. I thought I was hurting one of my friends' kiddos one day by doing this, but she reassured me I didn't and taught me that kids aren't *totally* fragile, LOL! Also, I believe someone here suggested dressing toddlers in easy-to-grasp/lift clothes, i.e. bib overalls. I can totally see how that one would work!

    I hope these are of some help, although I apologize that I am not geared toward the baby infant stage!

    Keep us posted on how it goes. I will be excited to read!
    Mystery

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by sabmother View Post
    love the folks at through the looking glass! they are an excellent resource.

    my biggest issue was car seats and feeling like I wouldn't be able to get them buckled in safely so I didn't even start to try until they were about 3 though in hindsight I probably could have been fine at age 2. baby wearing was great. at first I had a sling type thing then as they got more control I used a really long moby to wrap around my chair and myself and the baby/ies to hold us in.

    It isn't wrong to use your teeth to dress and diaper change your baby.

    my husband knew that he would be taking on more of the hands on tasks when the boys were infants, but as they have gotten older I have taken on more. remember the newborn, helpless infancy stage lasts such a short time compared to a lifetime of parenting. by 18 months my boys could climb up into my laps by themselves.

    any specific questions? Feel free to pm me. I am about the same level as you I think and my boys are now 7. Good luck!!
    Ive heard multiple people say they used their teeth to change a diaper. I'm a diaper changing virgin but aren't their times where poop gets everywhere?

  8. #8
    I didn't use my teeth for taking a diaper off. For off I could hook my thumb between the tab and the diaper and pull. Yes the diaper sometimes shredded but it wasn't too bad. I also used kids safety scissors to cut the tabs. Used two hands to open, put into place and then closed. I only used teeth for getting it tighter when putting it on. Even the able-bodied get poop everywhere when the baby has a total poop explosion. Experiment and figure out what works best for you. For me, that meant my kids always wore one-piece outfits or coveralls. they didn't wear pants and shirts until they potty trained. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. Just keep experimenting. And what works when the kid is 1 week will be completely different from what works when the kid is 6 months or 14 months. Your kid will grow and adjust to you. So even if a friend says my baby would never let me do it that way don't feel like that is a judgment towards you. My kids never realized I did things differently or that being a parent in a chair was different until their friends started asking questions at 4 years old.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ChesBay's Avatar
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    My son was 6 weeks old when I was injured. Circumstances turned me into a stay at home Dad for early years. I found having armrests on my chair were helpful. I could use them for balance and as my son got bigger but couldn't walk yet, taught him to hold on as I wheeled.

    I don't recall ever dropping him on his head though sometimes I wonder! j/k

    Going to be a wonderful blessing to you and your husband.

  10. #10
    I'll have to practice this diaper changing thing ASAP

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