Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 29

Thread: a caregiving nightmare

  1. #11
    This is just horrible! Can you possibly get a restraining order (or something similar) against this individual? It sounds like you may need it.

  2. #12
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    19,320
    How far did you go with police? I'd recommend showing up in person with the victim and asking to speak to the Chief or a designate. I'm just wondering why police are not taking this seriously if you have all of this evidence?

    What about the media?
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #13
    I had two-year nightmare with the caregiver which finally was ended under very adversarial conditions in which cost me legal fees and much paperwork. This employee seemed to know how to play the termination game and the threat of legal action against the employer, which under most circumstances the employer will throw a couple hundred bucks at the employee just to get them away from them and to and the legal claim, though baseless it was. This was in 2009.

    Fast forward to 2015 and the other night I get a phone call from of all people this employee. When she announced she was I promptly said I do not know of such person and hung up the phone. I then put a block on her number. I do not know why she was calling me after six years, but it is truly upsetting that this woman could still possibly be up to no good in trying to harass or conjure up some other nefarious scheme.

    Be aware and be careful.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Domosoyo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Minneapolis, MN
    Posts
    1,009
    signed

  5. #15
    Senior Member elarson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks for your support everyone. Please feel free to share our petition with as many people as possible. I think it is especially important to the disabled community.

    I hope you don't mind I answer your questions as a group (very busy trying to promote our petition):

    2drwhofans - Yeah, that picture makes me cry too. I had thought it might be a bit too morbid, but I'm glad it had that effect, because that is what I had hoped for with a wider audience.

    hlh - local politicians are not really accountable to their constituency here like they are in other countries. I may try a little, but I don't have much hope in that way, and it would probably be a lot of work for nothing. If I can get some traction on the petition and with the media, I think that will be more effective. Sort of name and shame.

    Sugarcube - restraining order not possible.

    lynnifer - With the police I've gone up the chain of command to the highest level we can which is the province level (many phone calls and e-mails). After I did that, I had hoped to finally get action. Instead, they sent a local agent to tell us they were not going to do anything. About the poisoning of the dogs they said I had to do an online declaration, which is what you would do if someone damaged your property. I did that just so that they couldn't say I was not cooperating, but of course I have had no response to that either.I followed up with another request for action at the highest police level saying we did not accept their lame attempt to act like they were taking action, but have had no answer. With the prosecution service, we have put in a formal complaint to the highest level we can which is the province level. We have acknowledgement of receipt, but no response or action.

    crags - I really sorry to hear what you went through. I can really symathize with you. That must have been horrible for them to contact you after all of these years. If it helps any, I think you did the absolute right thing to just hang-up on them. It seems that people like this absolutely know how to play the game. I don't know if it is worth it or not, but it might help if you can somehow at least register a harassment charge with the police. The caregiver who did this in our situation even wrote that they were threatening me to "stop our campaign", and the police did nothing, so I'm not sure if it well, but it is worth a try. Document everything.
    Last edited by elarson; 02-02-2015 at 09:47 AM.
    Partner of an incredible stroke survivor. Limitations: hemiparesis and neglect (functional paralysis and complete lack of awareness on one side). Equipment: TiLite ZRA 2 and 2GX, Spinergy ZX-1, RioMobility Firefly. Knowledge: relative newbie for high-level equipment (2012), but willing to try to help others who are new with similar limitations (definitely not a guru, but inquisitive).

  6. #16
    Senior Member ~Lin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    3,070
    I just don't understand police not doing anything. And honestly its not so different in the US. I understood when the police didn't give a crap about my car being broken into. But I was assaulted once and the individual was never charged. However I WAS able to get a restraining order, and what happened to me is nothing compared to what happened to your husband. I can't imagine. That should be attempted murder! Or at least assault with a deadly weapon.
    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

    I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

  7. #17
    I hate to say this, but.... could you sue this individual to get the $$ back? Would a lawyer for you be helpful at all?

    The reason I suggested the politician is that sometimes, you actually talk to someone who cares. Yeah, a bit too hopeful..

    This scenario is quite scary because it reminds you that it is quite difficult to "prove" that someone has done something with intent.... It may actually be true that the cops realize you are right, but they know what their legal requirements are for convicting someone. I have seen people in the US suffer in the same situation. One friend had a valuable musical instrument stolen worth $35,000. The police couldn't be bothered to investigate at all. My Friend called every pawn shop/music store in the state, and sure enough... his instrument eventually showed up. He got the name and address of the person who was trying to sell it. Yet, the police never even contacted the person. They said.... "there's no proof he took it... how can you be sure it's the same instrument (idiotic..).... someone could have given it to him... " blah blah blah. In the end, the instrument disappeared. He at least got insurance to cover it.

    Can insurance ever be helpful in something like your situation? If you have filed a police report for theft...

    Your husband could have hurt seriously... or worse... it is still very shocking to me that your police are not more involved. They just don't understand....

  8. #18
    I would also be going to the local newspapers or television news. Not sure how it is over there, but there are reporters assigned to the "Consumer protection" beat, or something similar who may be willing to run an article about your situation...and about how unresponsive politicians and police have been as well.

    (KLD)

  9. #19
    Senior Member elarson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    2,218
    We think that it will be impossible to get anywhere in civil court without any type of a conviction. In ordinary civil cases, the losing party must pay the legal costs as fixed by the court, which is in most cases substantially lower than the actual legal costs, and probably most of the money would just go to the lawyer. Contingency fee arrangements are also forbidden. Insurance is also not an option.

    For us this is not really about recovering the money. One of our biggest complaints is that the police seem to have for the most part ignored the medication overdose, and treated this as if it was only about the theft of the money. They refused to even consider that the poisoning of our dogs was possibly in retaliation for going to the police. I could not even get the police to file a report about the poisonings and the only option they gave was to do an internet report for damages to property.

    As far as political options, I also don't think that is going to get us too far, though I have thought about it. The only way I think it would help is if I can get it tied in to current changes they are making to the care system here in trying to have more people receive volunteer help. This is a good example of how risky that is, if even with a paid caregiver under contract we can not get basic justice, it could only be worse with a volunteer caregiver.

    Quote Originally Posted by hlh View Post
    I hate to say this, but.... could you sue this individual to get the $$ back? Would a lawyer for you be helpful at all?

    The reason I suggested the politician is that sometimes, you actually talk to someone who cares. Yeah, a bit too hopeful..

    This scenario is quite scary because it reminds you that it is quite difficult to "prove" that someone has done something with intent.... It may actually be true that the cops realize you are right, but they know what their legal requirements are for convicting someone. I have seen people in the US suffer in the same situation. One friend had a valuable musical instrument stolen worth $35,000. The police couldn't be bothered to investigate at all. My Friend called every pawn shop/music store in the state, and sure enough... his instrument eventually showed up. He got the name and address of the person who was trying to sell it. Yet, the police never even contacted the person. They said.... "there's no proof he took it... how can you be sure it's the same instrument (idiotic..).... someone could have given it to him... " blah blah blah. In the end, the instrument disappeared. He at least got insurance to cover it.

    Can insurance ever be helpful in something like your situation? If you have filed a police report for theft...

    Your husband could have hurt seriously... or worse... it is still very shocking to me that your police are not more involved. They just don't understand....
    Last edited by elarson; 02-05-2015 at 07:09 AM.
    Partner of an incredible stroke survivor. Limitations: hemiparesis and neglect (functional paralysis and complete lack of awareness on one side). Equipment: TiLite ZRA 2 and 2GX, Spinergy ZX-1, RioMobility Firefly. Knowledge: relative newbie for high-level equipment (2012), but willing to try to help others who are new with similar limitations (definitely not a guru, but inquisitive).

  10. #20
    Senior Member elarson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    2,218
    We managed to get an article in the regional newspaper. They based it mostly on the poisoning of the dogs, but also wrote a little about the medication overdose and theft. I've sent them the petition and am trying to get them to do a follow-up piece. I've also had contact with the regional television news, and they have expressed interest in doing a piece. I've also contacted a national television program that does shows about "controversial reports about scams and the latest news, alerts and tips from the world of fraud" and am hoping for a response.

    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    I would also be going to the local newspapers or television news. Not sure how it is over there, but there are reporters assigned to the "Consumer protection" beat, or something similar who may be willing to run an article about your situation...and about how unresponsive politicians and police have been as well.

    (KLD)
    Partner of an incredible stroke survivor. Limitations: hemiparesis and neglect (functional paralysis and complete lack of awareness on one side). Equipment: TiLite ZRA 2 and 2GX, Spinergy ZX-1, RioMobility Firefly. Knowledge: relative newbie for high-level equipment (2012), but willing to try to help others who are new with similar limitations (definitely not a guru, but inquisitive).

Similar Threads

  1. A Nightmare on Elm Street - 4/30/10
    By Le Todd in forum Movies & Music
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 05-02-2010, 09:55 AM
  2. Termination Nightmare
    By crags in forum Caregiving
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 11-02-2009, 03:31 PM
  3. Skydiving nightmare....
    By JimD in forum Life
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-03-2009, 05:38 PM
  4. nightmare
    By waters3 in forum New SCI
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 07-11-2003, 04:20 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •