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Thread: a caregiving nightmare

  1. #1
    Senior Member elarson's Avatar
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    a caregiving nightmare

    I'm hoping you all do not mind that I am posting this here. It is a petition to the police in Holland to get them to take action after a caregiver gave my husband an overdose of medication and stole money from him, and also about the poisoning of our dogs.

    It is one of those stories that you hope you never experience, but I think one that is good for others to know about. Despite my efforts to deal with the caregiver, he had my husband in his grips, and with his cognitive issues, I think his judgement was impaired.

    I guess the moral of the story is to always trust your gut instinct if there is a caregiver that you feel may not be trustworthy. As we found out, it's just not worth all the havoc they can wreak in your life if they are not. We had detailed contracts, care instructions, etc., and still this guy managed to get away with it.

    It's not helped by having abysmally apathetic police and prosecution services in the Netherlands, who just don't seem to be taking this seriously. In my view, something like this done to someone who is not able to defend themselves should be dealt with doubly as strong. Sadly that is not the case here.

    Don't feel you need to the sign the petition, but of course you are welcome to. You are also welcome to share it with others who you think may be interested. I'll warn you, it's a very long story, and hence why I am not posting it all here also.

    Here is the link: https://www.change.org/p/the-dutch-p...ms-of-3-crimes
    Name:  Justice for Jansen Change.org Header EN.jpg
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    P.S. If I've broken any rules by posting this, the moderators can feel free to remove it.
    Last edited by SCI-Nurse; 02-02-2015 at 09:21 AM.
    Partner of an incredible stroke survivor. Limitations: hemiparesis and neglect (functional paralysis and complete lack of awareness on one side). Equipment: TiLite ZRA 2 and 2GX, Spinergy ZX-1, RioMobility Firefly. Knowledge: relative newbie for high-level equipment (2012), but willing to try to help others who are new with similar limitations (definitely not a guru, but inquisitive).

  2. #2
    So sorry. Just curious...was this person hired through an agency, or how did you recruit them? And did you have a background check done prior to hiring? Petition signed!

    (KLD)
    Last edited by SCI-Nurse; 01-31-2015 at 01:47 PM.

  3. #3
    Senior Member elarson's Avatar
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    Thanks for signing KLD. Please share it with as many people as you think might be interested.

    We hire care directly, which is our preference after many bad experiences with agencies. For all caregivers we have a declaration of good behaviour. This guy kept evading me on it, because he did not have a fixed address, which makes it impossible to get the declaration here. He had been living at our neighbours house temporarily, which is how we were introduced to him, and I had also asked around to others who knew him and nobody said anything bad.

    Unfortunately, there is no way to do a background check here. They are only just now talking about having a register where offenders are entered. It's one of the reason we need this guy prosecuted so that I can get him on the offenders list so he can not do this again. Shockingly, he even had a daughter, who had heavy disabilities. He was a big talker about all that he did for her, and it was only after this happened and I contacted others who knew him from the past that I found out he was full of shit, and had basically abandoned her and her mother.

    It was difficult, because he was a sort of friend of a friend. This man had previously stayed at our house, and also when I went on a business trip and a family visit. It was after the family visit in the summer of 2013 that I did not trust him alone with my husband for care. After that time, that 3 hours when they went to the bank (he had said art workshop) was the only time he was with my husband without me nearby. It was something I was not comfortable with, but unfortunately, I got overriden by my husband.

    His primary job was to support my husband in painting. He was fully trained in care by me many times, but I always had other caregivers here to provide ADL care, because I was never comfortable with him for that. We keep a blog and printed information available at all times with care information. In some ways I feel like I may have even given him the idea about this, because we had recently switched to nasal midazolam for seizure rescue medication, and I had sent out an update to all caregivers a couple of days before because I was concerned about him leaving our house with my husband without me.

    I really think this guy had been manipulating my husband for a few months, and was also trying to drive a wedge through us as partners. He started making stupid arguments with me and causing enough disruption that I eventually just kept away from him for anything that was not absolutely necessary. Coincidentally, that started at about the same time my husband received his inheritance, which this guy knew about, as a later found out from Facebook chats.

    What is amazing about all of this is that this guy has admitted some of this stuff publicly on Facebook, and still the police aren't taking action. I find it shocking!

    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    So sorry. Just curious...was this person hired through an agency, or how did you recruit them? And did you have a background check done prior to hiring? Petition signed!

    (KLD)
    Partner of an incredible stroke survivor. Limitations: hemiparesis and neglect (functional paralysis and complete lack of awareness on one side). Equipment: TiLite ZRA 2 and 2GX, Spinergy ZX-1, RioMobility Firefly. Knowledge: relative newbie for high-level equipment (2012), but willing to try to help others who are new with similar limitations (definitely not a guru, but inquisitive).

  4. #4
    Signed. That is awful. I'm sorry.

  5. #5
    Signed. The picture of your husband with Jansen brought tears to my eyes.

  6. #6
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    It IS shocking. And sad. And, in its way, not shocking enough--these kinds of stories are getting awfully familiar.

    If you were to set up one of those crowd-sourced donation thingies, I for one would be pleased to donate towards your costs for the toxicology tests and any other investigative work you've had done or want to have done. That's about all I can do to help beyond signing the petition.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ~Lin's Avatar
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    God, I'm so sorry. This is horrific. I can't even imagine. RIP Jansen
    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

    I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

  8. #8
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    Signed.
    Gordon, father of son who became t6 paraplegic at the age of 4 in 2007 as a result of surgery to remove a spinal tumour.

  9. #9
    It upsets me very much to read about this horrible experience. What a nightmare. I added my signature.

    I recently let a caregiver go for inappropriate behavior, but this is shocking.

    I am sorry you are dealing with this. Are there any local politicians that you could go to and tell your story? Or a local small newspaper?

  10. #10
    signed
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

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