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Thread: fear doom and despair

  1. #1

    fear doom and despair

    Even on most of my worst days I consider myself to be pretty even keel. I can talk about my injury, and speculate on the future without completely freaking out about all of the unknowns. All of this changes every so often?

    Yesterday and today I woke up filled with an all-consuming dread and despair regarding the future. I remember lying here and telling myself, "I don't want to die this way." Before I get too far ahead of myself. Let me explain something; I was feeling bad. Maybe like I was trying to get some kind of urinary tract infection. My neuropathy was raging (which is unusual lately due to new medication). I remember lying here thinking if I had to live with this kind of pain the rest of my life. I don't believe I actually could! Thankfully around noon this morning, things began to subside and I felt more or less myself. This is happened about four or five times in the last three years or so. Is this a classic panic attack? I like to think I've read enough about panic attacks to know what they are.. When I have one. These feelings that I've been having in the morning literally feel like the life force is draining out of my body and I'm scared to death that some event could suddenly happen inside me and I would start to slip away. I think these feelings are pretty damn irrational. Do other people experience these moments of despair and terror as easily as I seem to? If they happened anymore frequently they would be a major MAJOR problem. I'm counting my blessings that they aren't so bad now.

    I've rambled enough, feel free to reply.

  2. #2
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    The only time I've had panic attacks is when my thyroid levels are whack. Checked lately? Hair thinning, dry nails, fatigued? Just a suggestion.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #3
    those are good tips, but I had a full blood panel a month ago that looked really great. Also, I've never had a history of thyroid problems. I'll still keep that in mind, though. It surely wouldn't hurt! Hope you're doing well yourself. :-)

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Wisconsin USA
    You may be having a reaction to your nerve pain medication. Yes, things change over time. I'd head in for a check up.
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

  5. #5
    I have an appointment with that guy Thursday, so I'll mention it to him. As I said, this has happened before. It does feel a lot like missing a dose or two of an antidepressant, which I have experienced in the past. I felt scared and also like I wanted to jump out of my skin. When I was experimenting with Lyrica and Cymbalta it really used to screw with my head. I obviously did not stay with those medications!

    I feel a whole lot better today… A LOT BETTER! The pain in my feet is much better as well. I hope this turned out to be a rare occasion where something was left out of my daily/evening meds. That would answer a lot of questions.

  6. #6
    I just realized that one of the worst things about talking panic disorders is… Well… Talking about panic disorders. I was feeling fine until I started searching for the subject tonight! I need to make some more local friends to talk to; online, and more importantly, the real-life kind! Here's a quick shout out to Ryan Trammell, by the way. Thanks for coming and hanging out last week. I enjoyed it.

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