Quote Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
James, you have options both for life and for death which you are just avoiding. Either way you choose to go, you would be well served to man up. Stop dwelling on excuses and get down to business. Live. Die. Whatever. Life is hard. Even harder when you're obsessed with whining about it. You have the power to change. One way, or the other. Stop making excuses. You'd be happier, or gone. Win, win. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to not mince words. Good luck.
And how do you suggest I do that, I wish it was that simple I have powerful shotguns in the back that I cant control or even get to. My only single option is to drown myself in my tiny back pond which I stood at for hours but can't seem to face because I live with my entire life, now it's to be my tomb I can't do it. So I contact places like Diginas expensive travel, flying is extremely difficult for us so it takes a ridiculously long time, especially when I want to leave money for research. I live with my family so I cant starve myself, I stopped doing catheters, but the pain is unbelievable and it's not fair to suffer like that in front of them, they understand my decision but that's a little much. I want a quick, painless, dignified death fortunately I can do that myself believe me I wish I could.