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Thread: Suicide

  1. #121
    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    I want nothing more then to get out of this house, but my lawyers are more preoccupied with other cases. They were supposed to send someone to do a house assessment six months ago still nothing done. So I have no quote or anything to get a new house with my insurance company. Caregiving is going to be a Nother problem once I drop that much money, going to be waking up at 9 going to bed at 10 for a long miserable time
    Any chance you can hire an OT yourself to do a house assessment, or find an accessible apartment until a house is found? With an apartment at least you can do a trial run for living on your own and you wouldn't need to put out a ton of money to do it. Likely be a lot faster too.

  2. #122
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Whately, MA United States
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    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    <snip>it's 3:30 AM. whatever I just didn't want any help from him, I spent the last 20 minutes getting my pain pills open with my teeth didn't even spill, <snip>.
    James, This is just what folks here are trying to tell you. You need to channel your anger into accomplishing things that you thought you couldn't.
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  3. #123
    Quote Originally Posted by Blazer View Post
    I agree, time to find a new caregiver. That would probably greatly improve your relationship with your father. Hopefully to the point where he can help some at other times without too much complaining.

    Have you looked into equipment to help you cath intermittently? It took me a long time to figure out a system that worked for me but, like you, I needed to so I wasn't depending on others. There are tino braces that convert wrist movement to a pinch for holding the catheter. There is also a wrist brace that has a spring loaded pinch. These are custom made braces. Many places that sell catheters also sell a little clamp to make insertion easier, not sure how these work. You might even be able to use a locking forceps to help.
    I use my teeth for most everything. One of the handiest tools I have and it was never even mentioned in over a year of rehab. Big mistake. You can certainly use them to open the lube and iodine but I like to use a 4 oz tube of lube that I can just stick the catheter into every time. I also get PDI Sani Hands wipes to use instead of iodine. At first I used a table and would hook the urinal on the edge to keep it in place but I have since found it much easier to hold it between my legs with the seat belt.
    Cathing myself definitely didn't come easily but I needed that independence. What works for one person might be a complete failure for the next but let me know if you have any questions about how I cath.
    Interesting I didn't think anything like that was out there, I just think my right arm not being able to control wrist or forearm might be a problem. None the less im going to get a supra cathing every four hours either way no matter who does it is a ridiculous burden and huge waste of time. And to be honest I can't even watch when they do it I pretend it's not happening because I feel, just close my eyes.

  4. #124
    Maybe some family counseling is in order? I knew a kid back in 1981 when I was around your age about the same injury as you and his parents where being his caregivers. they resented the fact he got into a car with other drinking kids and crashed and caused his injury and would not let him forget that, they blamed him for his injury and his life was miserable. Maybe something similar happened with you? But whatever it was what is done is done and you gotta move on, but just try and really think about things and like I said maybe maybe seek some kind of family council to see where you go from here.. You can move on, you can get through this!!! Think about starting College or some kind of vocation you can do to stay busy and work towards of goal of being productive, there's a lot of stuff you can still do and don't realize it yet.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

  5. #125
    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Honcho View Post
    I'm hoping $6000 a month was a typo. If not, you can easily afford to get yourself in a better situation.
    Nope that was dead on, the problem is getting one that can carry me down stairs to get to my shower area, and drive two hours to Toronto and two hours back twice a week for physiotherapy realistically only a friend or family member will do these jobs, so I have to compensate my dad for not working and paying bills that I use as well. I'm not adapting the house with my family.I can't afford Toronto, and don't know anyone there no family) I could get a beautiful house here, well Toronto I'd only get a 900 square-foot apartment, no way. So the problem is the housing situation. As for switching lawyers these are good lawyers I guess just at this point we are at a stalemate with my case, but the housing assessment is a little ridiculous, I really want to avoid paying and OT as much. My case is cut and dry not a big payout and I spent way too much already, I need to save as much possible for physiotherapy and to leave behind if that's my decision, these lawyers will be the best rate possible close family friend actually now officially family cousin just married.

    Guys thank you very much for your advice I appreciate it very much, greatly sorry to anyone I offended. I understand there are things I can learn to do for myself with the help of equipment and expensive occupational therapist, but in the end it will only go so far caregiving for me and others with higher injuries or extra difficulties is inevitable. (fully understand that there might be some C4 incomplete quads that fully independent maybe, it's a big world. But you have to take into account my right arm I can't explain it properly and financial status, i'm not trying to step on anyone's toes for their achievement of independence). There's no way around not walking, not feeling sex, not weightlifting or fighting things etc that matter to me most. All of us quadriplegics and paraplegics know that S CI is a horrific thing beyond words, they literally don't have words to describe the to horrific nature of spinal cord injury. Ultimately the decision on my own's life whether to make it or not is my own decision and I don't need your judgment for that choice. I'm not happy I miserable you can say that will change but you don't know that for sure clearly it hasn't for many people, there's type of independence and freedom that I can't explain some of you might understand what I mean but it will never come back (not with one hell of a cure at least).

    Clearly I have made a mistake with this forum , things have gotten out of hand with another member, invasion of privacy has been achieved for myself, I can no longer participate on here. I kindly asked the monitor to close or delete this thread.

  6. #126
    Before they close this, just want to say good luck to you James.

  7. #127
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Wisconsin USA
    James, under your name when you click on it their are settings and under MY Account go to Edit Ignore List and add the member you no longer want to see posts from, same with contacts. We do not delete productive threads if a bit of editing like Jim did keeps it civil. Closing is normally up to the forum moderator or an administrator.

    I think your anger comes from family dynamics if your injury didn't start your father's behavior. Good luck and do remember we are here if you change your mind. You might talk to the Canadian SCI support group for your area if you need help on how to move or the Canadian Spinal Research Organization to put your name in for any trials.
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

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