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Thread: Advice on accepting help

  1. #11
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Maybe it will help if I think that way. I'm working on it .. I'm working on it. Thanks :-)

    Quote Originally Posted by baldfatdad View Post
    SCI is right. Its a tool. We all have cars with power steering and brakes. People don't think they are weak because of it. We use pens with ink cartridges, not ink and quill. I use an electric scooter at state fairs, car shows etc instead of pushing my chair. I found I could hold a beer with the scooter!!!!. Sometimes stuff is good.

  2. #12
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    I think if I needed hoisting, I would adjust to it, but one thing I had a lot of trouble dealing with, was being pooped. (bowel program when first injured, and in hospital)
    I wanted to kill myself.
    Id done bowel care, caring for puppies orphaned as newborns, as well as for newborn constipated foals, before I was injured, and that allowed them to live, because they can't defecate on their own. puppies need stimulation from their mothers to evacuate, and a constipated foal, (baby horse) is an emergency. putting it into perspective helped me deal with it enough to deal with it.

    Im very grateful I can do that for myself, and have never taken my independence for granted. our needs are what they are. if it were any of my family, I wouldn't have a problem doing what needs to be done to keep them healthy, and comfortable.

  3. #13
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Thank you Jody, what you said made me tear up. Very real and very true. I'm fighting something and I'm not sure what it is yet. Part of it is being totally vulnerable to a stranger.

  4. #14
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    Grommet, I can understand your reluctance to use the lift, as it makes us realize that we really ARE that crippled, and it ain't going to get any better. I think it is the first piece of equipment that separates our lives as pretty independent cripples to somebody who needs to be lifted into the chair or bed instead of transferring on our own. It also points to other chunks of independence that we will be losing as time moves on.

    We need a 12 step program for this shit...
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  5. #15
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    good thing we have care cure. that's what this place is for.
    If only the hoist could be more akin to a carnival ride. it wouldn't seem so undignified.
    some folks have to use a lift from the beginning, so if ever needs progress to include a lift system, well I guess we have to adjust to those few minutes being lifted, and consider that some folks have had to do such, the whole time they have been spinally compromised.
    I guess its more like getting it over with so you can get on with things.

  6. #16
    Senior Member pfcs49's Avatar
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    I can really understand your dilemma. I'm 66yo T12, ~19yrs post injury and I'm slowing down. When I used to go to Kessler urology, I'd transfer up onto the table that had a pretty sharp machined edge.
    When they started insisting I take the Hoyer, I felt defeated and useless. It may not be logical, but that's how I experienced it. I hate giving up function as I age!
    I think it says somewhere in the AA literature ~"whenever there is a problem, no matter what the cause, the problem is in me, and the answer is acceptance." Probably good advice.

  7. #17
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Donno, that's exactly it! Thank you. I couldn't put it in to words even in my head but you put it together. That is what I am going through. I feel like there was my life before, on this side of the wall and once I use the lift it will be everything on the other side. Disability is moving faster than am adjusting to it but, it's not up to me. I am facing that wall. That little piece of equipment represents so much and I am afraid of what might be coming.

    I talked to a friend (also disabled) and he said something that made me laugh, "This is not what I agreed to." Yeah brother, this isn't what we agreed to :-) We are thinking of making shirts ;-)

    Thank you Donno.

    Quote Originally Posted by Donno View Post
    Grommet, I can understand your reluctance to use the lift, as it makes us realize that we really ARE that crippled, and it ain't going to get any better. I think it is the first piece of equipment that separates our lives as pretty independent cripples to somebody who needs to be lifted into the chair or bed instead of transferring on our own. It also points to other chunks of independence that we will be losing as time moves on.

    We need a 12 step program for this shit...

  8. #18
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    pfcs49 thank you for that advice. It sounds pretty good to me. Just to mention, I don't have an SCI, I have a neurological disability.

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