The burning has been the worst since this morning. From the tops of my feet, tops of my legs, my lower back, neck, across my clavicles, the tops of my hands up to my face stopping just at my upper lip and cheeks, like someone drew a line.

After 18 years I'm sick of drugs. I want some kind of trick where I just disassociate from the pain until it's over, like I can't feel my body. it's been months since I've had a problem and I don't know why it's kicking in now, like I said it started last Wednesday and I thought it was because I overdid something. I thought it would be annoying, not get worse. It's weird how I can forget how bad it gets and then remember when it starts happening again. And there's a nice flame behind my left shoulder blade. Excellent.

It keeps reminding me of getting the barbecue coals started for my father when I was a kid and the lighter fluid caught and I was just too close. Move back a little and I felt the heat but the burning was gone. A few inches forward and it feels like it does now. A few inches back and I was fine. Hey it was summer, barbecues, nice time.

Beautiful day today but I can't stop thinking about this burning. And there goes a nice little flare right at the anus.

It always passes and I have to remember that though this morning for the first time I started wishing this on someone else. Normally I would never do that but maybe it's the stress or just that it's been so many years or I don't know what but I finally wished some other people (non-disabled) could feel this. Go ahead, stick your finger in the wall socket, now keep it there. Now while feeling like that eat, run errands, exercise, live your day. Now, feeling like that and trying to get through your day see how patient you are when you run in to an access problem. Oh, you understand now? Wouldn't that be something to give the AB's a chance to try living with a disability, how their perspective might change.

And there goes the outside of my right hip. The fire.

This will pass and I will have my great life back soon. Maybe another week or only a few days. I will keep thinking that. I wonder if other people have some great trick for handling it.