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Thread: How to hand something to a quad?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Southeast, USA

    How to hand something to a quad?

    Hey guys, I have searched for this topic with no luck. I feel weird asking this for some reason. I will be meeting with someone who is a quad with no hand function at all. I have something, an 8x10 picture I made, that I would like to give her. I have never been in this situation before and I'm not sure what to say or do.

    I was hoping after telling her I wanted to give it to her that she would speak up and tell me what to do with it. I don't know if people prefer things to be placed in their lap, etc.? As a para, there are a lot of things people do in their interactions with me that rub me the wrong way or are offensive, so that is the last thing I want her to feel. I would just like some feedback/suggestions from yall. Thanks

  2. #2
    Senior Member Rrrrronnn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Lawng Eye-Lynd, New York
    I tell people to hold it till I pull it out of their hand with both of my hands. This ensures I have a grasp before they let go too soon!
    "If ya don't have it in the hips, ya better have it in the lips..." ~ Charlie - Villa Dulce

  3. #3
    This is a great question. I think you should ask the person how they would prefer to handle it, before trying to hand it over.

  4. #4
    As a quad I learned a long time ago that it is best to tell those handing me things what to do. Some things are very awkward to deal with and I just ask them to put it on my lap or briefcase or whatever works for me. One of the problems is that there are no two quads alike with regard to their hand function and grasping skills. Just don't make it a big deal. She may even have a backpack on her wheelchair.
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @

    See my personal webpage @

  5. #5
    Asking is the best way. If this is a girl you like and are trying to impress, I think you deserve ★★★★★ for sensitivity and respectfulness.

    All the best,

  6. #6
    I might be too late but if you preface your gift with "I brought you a little surprise" it would put the ball in her court and she could lead you through it...

    Best of luck!

  7. #7
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Baltimore, MD
    Not pointed end first.

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Pennsylvania, U.S.
    Haha, Alan... I like the idea of just asking too, or just kind of handing it over as you would for anyone, only keeping a grip until she has it .. She will grab it in whatever way she handles things, and all will be fine..

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