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Thread: have to vent

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    North of the 49

    have to vent

    Like most of us crips, we all have pride and want to do things ourselves and not bitch and moan like most our able bodied friends on Facebook. I don't normally vent to my wife about how much pain I'm in cause who wants to hear that all day, but I am going nuts! I would guarantee you if I didn't have my daughter I would be another # to the stat. I can handle the aches and pains from shoulders and upper back and chest but spasms and nerve pain drive me nuts. When I take a shit the pain in my ass and groin is UNBELIEVABLE. My nuts and whats left of my lill buddy shrink when the pain hits. I've had 2 hemroid surgeries but it has only gotten worse. If I owed a gun and it was in the washroom with me I'd pull the trigger every time. I'm out of my chair maybe 3 hours a day, I've watched so much TV everything is rerun at this point. and no DR have any clue why this is happening but are real quick to say "get a colostomy" when they don't even know whats causing the pain.

    I love life and everything in it, have great family and a few good friends I just wish I could enjoy it like I used to. I make the best out of a good day but there are far to many bad days this last year. The days I go out I double my pain meds to make sure I'm good for 4 hours. I consider myself fairly young and I know things only get harder with age so I wonder why I hang in there, oh yeah my daughter.

    sorry to bitch and moan, I know there are a lot of people out there who are in much worse shape..


  2. #2
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    I'm so lucky that I don't suffer often with neuro pain - a day or two in Spring and Fall. Moreso, my shoulders react to the temperature change and now my bronchial tubes don't like the cold. My shoulder tendons are fine according to ultrasound but my bones grind something awful.

    I'm so sorry that this hasn't been resolved in all the years that it was known to exist. Wish I could wave a magic wand or take it from you for a while to relieve those who suffer from it.

    I've known a lot that have passed this year .. and someone suggested that they let their complications take them. I know I gave it some serious thought ... not fighting but 'living with' two open wounds (left foot again and right buttocks now spreading to the left side dammit with an incision scar opening up from over 26yrs ago).

    I can relate to the bowel thing as the anal sphincter is going the way my bladder one did - starting to loosen to the point of accidents when I transfer. Hell. This is not how a 41yr old woman should live. After reading about 'offroaderswife' experience, I'm not so afraid if it comes to a colostomy - especially because I don't have to work and come and go daily - would never have done that while working.

    Living alone, I'm having trouble staying out of my chair - especially because I'm getting sick of it lately - I'm dying to go for a drive to my favourite marina but the weather has been so bad.

    The bitch part of all this is my experience with Fampyra (Ampyra, 4-ap, dalfamipridine) ... things can change (unfortunately it may be blamed for a change in my posture and these current wounds on my arse!) To me, it was a miracle - even though it was so small.

    Tomorrow it might come out that medicine has a solution for nerve pain. Against all odds, there is that tiny, minuscule, damn little hope that things may change. I cling to that.

  3. #3
    Hey dewie27 - you expressed yourself well. Hitting so many familiar points - family and spouse don't want to hear about it all day, putting up with AB whining (on Facebook), taking more meds to get a few good hours, obligation to family and children to stick around. A few great days and a lot of bad days...

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Johnston, Iowa, USA
    hey dewie does your pain stem from your hemorrhoids? i've got bad roids and i think they cause pain and spasms..i keep thinking about getting surgery on them.. should i avoid surgery at all costs? i dont ever want a colostomy..i'm so scared and am in so much pain i wish i would just die in my to afraid i'd botch suicide ..i'm 34 now but im scared of how bad things will be in 10 years..

  5. #5
    this pain owns me and i wasted another weekend because of it... so tired of surrendering to pain , sucking the life out of me...

  6. #6
    Senior Member flying's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Southern Oregon coast
    I hear you all to well, pain really sucks, and yes its no fun for the people around you to hear you bitch about it. But a lot of the time its kind of obvious to the out side world that this person is hurting, and there is nothing that one can do about that.
    Hang it there dewie, wish it was better.

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