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Thread: Suicide

  1. #31
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains
    Having a meaningful discussion and knowing someone one else cares about what you are going through is coping. I know it has really been hard on this community to lose people due to suicide. I can think of five or so...but they were all very open with their plans or half of them were anyway.

    I think loneliness and feeling alone is the greatest pain that someone can go through. You can be surrounded by a stadium full of family and still be alone in your struggles with pain. A professional can only recognize signs and try to help you work out of that pain but most of it has to be done on ones own. Even though we share a common bond of intractable pain, none of us know what life is truly like for our friends here.

    People in pain are usually alone in their experiences even though everyone knows it is there. That feeling of being trapped in a body that does not work when your brain tells it to and unrelenting physical pain can do things to the mind that most people cannot fathom.

    Being a support for someone else who is going through their darkest time is the most important function of the word "care". If one wants to commit suicide, all it takes is a connection to the internet to dream up various ways. I don't think that is what Bill nor anyone else is seeking here. For those who have made the choice, the what ifs will never end because we will likely never know the answer.

    Even with a professional, there is judgement, sometimes good and sometimes bad. I don't think anyone needs to be judged because they just can't stand the pain of living anymore.

    I look at this thread as an example of caring about CC members who perhaps have a greatest need for compassion and understanding
    No true(er) words have ever been spoken.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  2. #32
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Florida Keys
    Quote Originally Posted by SCIfor55yrs. View Post
    There are some CC members who do not have access to a professional to deal with this.
    Nor will they get that access here.

    Any actionable intent to commit suicide may produce a result which is far too serious, irretrievably permanent and much, much too personal to be bandied about on the internet by total strangers. While there is much wisdom here, the limitations of our collective ability to help folks with suicidal intent cannot be overcome by good intentions or emphatic expressions. It's nice to think that one may offer the nugget of compassion or encouragement that keeps hope alive and prevents a fellow from taking their life. It's just as likely that one can type words that contribute to that person or someone lurking killing their self. There are resources for those who have decided to end their lives. In my strong opinion, the Care Cure Community isn't built for this role.

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

  3. #33
    There are resources in all states to help those dealing with suicidal thoughts:

    National Suicide Hotlines USA
    United States of America
    Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
    1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK

    I am sure similar resources exist in Canada and many other countries.

    Not sure what state Scott lives in, but just because a social worker doesn't know about resources for keeping you out of a nursing home doesn't mean they don't exist. Contact your local ILC and ask them to help you with this. They should have a person whose job it is to keep people out, and help them get out of nursing homes if they really shouldn't be there.


  4. #34
    We ve all been in that situation it will get better believe me.
    Warning: steer clear of negativity and boredom.
    You are now part of our community chime in as you please

  5. #35
    Last edited by LaMemChose; 06-16-2013 at 10:04 PM. Reason: ..........

  6. #36
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Rochester, NY
    so end of life care is a discussion that rarely happens in america. this needs to change.
    the kind of pain that ket is talking about cannot be resolved through yoga or "following your bliss" or any other such nonsense. when your humanity is stripped away and you're convulsing and you are in the grips of immense pain, you CANNOT think of things like art or family or anything at all, you barely can think of yourself. it is much akin to holding sand in a shaking hand and watching the grain fall away and know you cannot do anything to stop it.

    so telling someone that they need to live for other ppl or they have so much to give when they are barely holding onto their humanity is terribly wrong, selfish, and insensitive to what they are going through. before you decide to jump down my throat and call me rude please reread the threads where someone complained about the well meaning but insensitive thing that some AB told them and the emotional spiral that often happens. when your energy is spent on just trying to mental facilities together, you have no emotional strength to deal with such comments. it makes things worse for the person in pain as it feels as if no one is listening to you, your feelings etc are being brushed aside. "well if you just try harder you'll walk again!" type deal. understand?

    how do i know this? because i was that person. at 19 suffering, screaming in pain. most days i was just in the fetal position convulsing and feeling like my brain was about to explode. it took several years, surgery, and alternative therapy to get me where i am today but it can always come back and therefore, while i am semi healthy, an honest and open discussion with friends and family is needed. i've had a few and it begins with "don't tell me i have everything to live for, this discussion is for when i have nothing/don't have the capacity to give myself to live"

    so i really think this topic needs to be changed from "suicide" to "end of life care" because it really is about caring, despite what ppl keep saying. and maybe that way, it broadens the topic and helps build dialogue and encouragement to speak to those around us on what to do when that time comes.

    we ALL will die. and every one of us has the right to die in a manner that is peaceful, full of love and caring. suicide is devastating for those left behind because no one wants to discuss the feelings/attitudes that lead up to it. it's reserved for suicide hotlines and impersonal notes(if you're lucky to get one).

    or, alternatively, when we do not properly discuss our wants and wishes for end of life care, it ends up in court battles and family feuds. terry shiavo (sp?) anyone?
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"

  7. #37
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Rochester, NY
    and because my crazy cat has a fondness for walking across the keyboard as cats are want to do, she pressed the post button.

    for those who want to have a better perspective on the mind of someone who is in terrible chronic pain, read kafka's the metamorphosis. i read it again while in the hospital for my 2 back to back spinal fusion reconstructions and wept. it was literally my story and exactly how i was being treated and how i felt:

    also watch how to die in oregon. it's on netflix and i am sure you can torrent it. i know a link to a thread was posted about it but seems to have been buried.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"

  8. #38
    CC, by virtue of its purposes, seems the wrong place to discuss suicide, especially when a member appears to have such under active consideration.

    I apologize for posting anymore than the sentence above the one I am writing now.


  9. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by crypticgimp View Post
    also watch how to die in oregon. it's on netflix and i am sure you can torrent it. i know a link to a thread was posted about it but seems to have been buried.
    Yes, post #9 in this thread.

    Your remarks have been very on-target.

  10. #40
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Rochester, NY
    personally, i think the term suicide is for ppl who find a permanent solution to temporary and fixable problems and due to a person's despair and depression it is hard for them to see that. they do not see that they have choices and options.

    end of life care is the opposite: it is a rational, open and honest discussion about quality of life for the individual and involves a full team of people to come up with the best plan for each individual and that that individual has the power of choice. and it should encompass all peoples from those with chronic pain to those with terminal illnesses.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"

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