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  1. #1

    Suicide

    can we have a meaningful discussion here? I'm weary of the struggle and am spiraling down. I dont think it should be ignored and i'm hoping for a serious dialog. I am not insane but there is nothing left, all that i am is all gone and pain has already taken my light and soul, leaving only a totured body.

    I have questions and comments and suspect a few of us do

    Moderators i know how troubling this is to the community and at some level to its goals, but if not here with our family who understand, where.

    Respectfully,

    Ket

  2. #2
    Discussion about what?

  3. #3

    seriously

    Quote Originally Posted by elizabeth422 View Post
    Discussion about what?
    is that a joke?

  4. #4
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    Ket, I go up and down on this like a roller coaster It seems like the most miniscule thing, whether important or not, can tick me off and I explode. I have continually told my family I am a volcano simply waiting to erupt. It really does bother me. My dog, all 9 lbs of him, somehow says he is here for me. Even though I cannot stand that because I did not get him to be a crutch. I don't know what does it, but am beginning to think that whatever I am trying to do at that point in time, therapy or just life, it too big of a step forward. I myself, need to turn everything off and cool down. It may be done in a few hours or takes days.

  5. #5
    Elizabeth, if not I apologized for my snappy response but this is a complex question and I will list a number of things I would like on the table but I will not take the time if deemed a non-viable thread.

    ket

  6. #6
    Bill,

    I appreciate the pain you are in, but I am pretty uncomfortable about a thread that discusses specific, technical ways of committing suicide. Other than that I think all of us has to a greater or lesser extent pondered it at some point because of our injury and/or pain so am fine with a general discussion.

  7. #7

    not methodology

    Quote Originally Posted by t8burst View Post
    Bill,

    I appreciate the pain you are in, but I am pretty uncomfortable about a thread that discusses specific, technical ways of committing suicide. Other than that I think all of us has to a greater or lesser extent pondered it at some point because of our injury and/or pain so am fine with a general discussion.
    I can assure you this is the only thing I would never discuss, nor would I solicit methodologies here, nor would I want to see that aspect covered here either.

    This is not something trivial and the aftermath is at best problematic to survivors.

    Some topics might include

    preparing family, what would you want said to you. what would you say.

    I've counseled with a shrink, a spiritual guide, and a couple docs who have had some interesting comment and I do not treat this lightly.

    I have had frank discussions with immediate family and gotten various comments.

    My date was jan 31 this year but have started a prialt trial and promised to see it through and will, so this is not an imminent event but absent reasonable change and deteriorating I see no alternate scenario. I also pray daily for strength and fortitude as the real "gift" is life.

    Thank you for thinking this through before you decide. I will wait before I continue and will not barrage the board with horrors etc.

    Kindly,

    Ket

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ketamine kitty View Post
    My date was jan 31 this year but have started a prialt trial and promised to see it through ...
    That's the bugger of hope and what keeps me here. Something miraculous may come tomorrow or next week or next month or next year ... when I do feel at my lowest, I *need* to read the research or watch the videos to keep myself on the steady.

    Sometimes (a lot lately), I get the urge to just get in the car and tire myself out driving as far as I can. Find somewhere to sleep and keep going until I hit the Pacific Ocean (never saw it) or the Atlantic (loved it). I may do that one day ... just disappear and maybe start over somewhere (surely if I ever lost my job) ... but I won't take my life until I've met my limit ... I won't know until I'm there.

    I've found this an interesting read this morning: http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/14/us/flo...html?hpt=hp_t2

    Keep in mind that at a conference for police management on mental health, the majority (I forget now but it was 80 or 90%) had said they had thought of suicide at one point. These are fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, wives and husbands and all with excellent employment and benefits. Three out of fifty employees are on enough medications that cost over $1,200 per month (I'm one of them because of the Fampyra). The point is - that we all suffer to some degree. I can't begin to understand the level of pain you're in ... but I'd rather be okay financially than that AND in pain. I'd rather be with someone than alone and in pain, etc.

    Besides, you're a lovely artist and it would be a shame to deprive the world of that. Your experience and writing it down here - just the very admission that you're having a tough time - is helping someone - even if they don't post - they are reading. Trust me on that.

    I often think that Ozy and Christine really deprived the world of lovely people who were intelligent, talented and interesting ... I can't imagine what their life was like and have to respect their decisions ... but in many ways, I wonder where they would be now. Would Ozy and Christine have tried Fampyra? Would it have worked? What if Wise's trials are onto something? What if .. what if ...

    It's a beautiful day. I hope you can get some sun on your face and appreciate the day ... I hope someone comes up with a bang-whiz cure for the pain that some go through.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  9. #9
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    The most reliable predictor of a completed suicide is the existence of a detailed plan. While I do understand that suicide is an option that most humans, especially those in this community, consider, I don't think that a forum dedicated to Care and Cure is the appropriate vehicle to sort out the details of such a plan. A suicide plan includes much more than the method by which one takes their life.

    I have great empathy for those who feel that life has nothing left to offer that exceeds the cost to play out their dealt hand. As has been mentioned, there are professionals & loved ones that one may consult for input. IMHO, that's the path to take. There is also the option of communicating with interested fellow members in private conversations.

    Again, I believe that Care & Cure don't play well with suicide.
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Foolish Old View Post
    Again, I believe that Care & Cure don't play well with suicide.
    Word.

    Too many are too close to the edge as is, especially newer injuries, and such a discussion may encourage others to spiral down where they might have moved away from the cliff instead of moving more closely to it or dropping off it.

    FO is correct. These discussions are better handled face to face in private AND with qualified professionals.

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