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Thread: What is important to you?

  1. #1
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    What is important to you?

    This is the question I've asked to myself.
    Who lives by yourself or alone? I do. since my injury.

    I came to USA in 1996. My initial plan was staying here for one year and learn English. Tow month later, I got a car accident and became C-5/6. complete.

    Since then, I lived alone. New years day, thanksgiving day, Christmas day... I've always stayed alone and eat a TV dinner. Didn't get any financial support from others. I invested all money I had and studied CS as a second BS. Got a good job as a software engineer in 2000. Got a Long Term Care insurance from the first company and the insurance company started to pay to care givers. I was very fortunate to have this insurance and am still using it.

    Got a MS degree. work. got a green card (permanent residency). keep a job with decent salary.... Now, I think I've achieved some degree of success. But.... I am not sure where my life is.

    What if I take one year of break/vacation? What if I go back to my home country and spend time with niece, nephew, friends, sisters, and family?

    I am not rich at all, but in worst cast, I may be able to live with SSDI if i don't get a job after I come back.

    What is important to you for your life? How much money do we need?? I just want to hear about your point of view toward the life. Can you share it?
    (I should have posted it on Life section, but started to write it after reading "Money" posted below. )
    Last edited by JK; 05-27-2013 at 06:54 PM.

  2. #2
    Food and shelter are important to me. SSDI might not cut it. Can you get a sabbatical type leave?
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

  3. #3
    Senior Member wtf's Avatar
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    What is important to me is being happy. I worked many years and there came a point where I wanted to try something different. I made a plan of what I needed to do so I would be ok financially and then I quit my job. When I quit I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do but eventually I decided I wanted to go back to school. I love being in school, it's a lot of fun and I've met some really fine young people. I mainly went to school for the experience, I may not get a job in my field (teaching) but I'm not worried, I'm sure I'll find something. And then who knows maybe I'll get married. In any case I dont need a lot - I have a house, a car and just enough stuff to make me happy. I'm content with where I'm at, I just wish time wouldn't move so fast.
    A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

  4. #4
    Senior Member flying's Avatar
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    To me if you have food and a place to stay warm figured out, (and a few toys) then its all about how you live and how you feel. I think that having human contact is super important to us humans, but I know people who hermit up, and I have done way to much of that myself. So I guess what is important to me is human contact and friends. Do you ever call your family back in the old country?
    T12L1 Incomplete Still here This is the place to be 58 years old

  5. #5
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    Thanks all for the reply.
    wtf. I did similar things to what you did. After working for several years, I decided to go back to school because I enjoyed staying at school. I still think I enjoy being at school. When I went to PhD program, my goal was just enjoying the study without thinking about future too much. In fact, going to PhD at my age/career might not be the best choice, but I thought I could enjoy the school work more than work for a company.
    Anyway, I enjoyed the school and did well but that were not good enough for PhD "student". After two years, I decided to get a job again and make money. (So, I would not be available for sabbatical type leave because of my length of employment at the current company) Someday, yes, I would like to take more classes for fun and may teach at a community college....

    For food & shelter...... I think I can afford food and home for myself because I think I don't need much, but my friends at my home country said "it all depends on what kind of food you want to eat.. So, the definition of 'much' is very different" Well.... that is also true.

    flying. I call my family & friends, but it is not same if you stay too far for too long time. I agree that human contact & friends are important. Probably, that is why I consider going back for awhile.
    Last edited by JK; 05-28-2013 at 08:47 PM.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by JK View Post
    Thanks all for the reply.
    wtf. I did similar things to what you did. After working for several years, I decided to go back to school because I enjoyed staying at school. I still think I enjoy being at school. When I went to PhD program, my goal was just enjoying the study without thinking about future too much. In fact, going to PhD at my age/career might not be the best choice, but I thought I could enjoy the school work more than work for a company.
    Anyway, I enjoyed the school and did well but that were not good enough for PhD "student". After two years, I decided to get a job again and make money. (So, I would not be available for sabbatical type leave because of my length of employment at the current company) Someday, yes, I would like to take more classes for fun and may teach at a community college....

    For food & shelter...... I think I can afford food and home for myself because I think I don't need much, but my friends at my home country said "it all depends on what kind of food you want to eat.. So, the definition of 'much' is very different" Well.... that is also true.

    flying. I call my family & friends, but it is not same if you stay too far for too long time. I agree that human contact & friends are important. Probably, that is why I consider going back for awhile.
    First I want to say. You have accomplished a lot for a c5-6. My hats off to yah.

    Second. Don't quit what you're doing. You're doing great. I think you need to look at finding new friends and support system. Because it's been to long since you been home. The family and friends have moved on with their lives without you there. It won't be the same. They will have other interest. They won't have time to fit you in like you wish. Sure they still love you.

    I think your best move would be a vacation home. This way your family and friends can all share some quality time together and then get back to there regular routine.

  7. #7
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    To fix SCI, not necessarily for myself.

  8. #8
    Senior Member NikkiMaya's Avatar
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    I agree, you have accomplished a great deal for anyone in their lifetime. It did make me sad to hear that you spend your holidays alone. Some people like solitude, but mostly as others here noted, we crave connection and direct contact.

    Figuring out what is most important to you is a big step and it might involve taking some risks. I don't think there is any amount of money that could replace the people I love. Perhaps taking some time to go back home and reconnect could be a very important move, even if it means cutting back financially.

    For me, material things are not so important. I have lived both a middle class life and managed without the benefit of consistent electricity and water. Of course I prefer greater comfort when it is available. It is most important for me to make some kind of tangible difference that improves other people's lives. I want to contribute to social justice causes that I care about, and I want that to be my life's work. Because my body doesn't work so well, it is important to me to lead an active 'life of the mind,' so to speak and I would ultimately like to do this by getting my masters degree, perhaps a PhD. In the meantime, I try to use the time I have each day to learn as much as I can and reach out in a positive way.
    In our world constituted of differences of all kinds, it is not the disabled, but society at large that needs special education...to become a genuine society for all. -Frederic Major, Former UNESCO Director General

  9. #9
    Senior Member chris-k's Avatar
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    Happy is waking up in the morning and not seeing my name in the obits .

    I guess I've lived a pretty full life, all things considered. Had some success, some failures. Like others have said, I have food & shelter and some discretionary income for toys and travel. Good enough for me.

    JK, I agree with NikkiMaya, don't spend your holidays alone! Volunteer someplace, like a food bank or senior center, join a church or other community group and spend time with them -- on holidays and other days too. Being alone sucks! And it is not necessary if you don't want it to be.

  10. #10
    What is important to me because I think I have to lose some weight and eat, drink and watch movies, but most importantly, a significant health

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