I am a quadriplegic woman, 54, living for 2 years now with my 82 year old mother, who - I think - has the borderline personality disorder. It went o.k. till I left for 2 days for a little trip. Ever since she requires extra night shifts. I am now working on a live-in help.
Everytime we get to the point that she does well at night and we consider just having somebody come in the mornings, she starts falling and playing super helpless. Everytime I do something for myself, she goes plays her drama for the neighbors or makes chaos in the kitchen. It's like anytime she is not getting enough attention, she plays her dramas.
These stupid night- "babysitters" eat up all her money. But she will play any drama to keep them. One woman said last week, mom needed no help at night, and this morning the same said, she absolutely cannot be left alone. And when I tell them, it's all manipulation, they disagree and look at me as if I was evil.
I don't wanna put mom in a nursing home., but she is making me sick with her blackmailing and manipulation.
Have any of you an idea where I could find help? I have asked all "professionals", but all seem to put it on dementia, but mom has been like this her whole life. She seems to NEED the attention, without overthinking the consequences.
I have no more strength, I feel so horrible, that she has all this power to distroy what I had built so lovingly.