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Thread: AB's using handicapped stalls

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Foolish Old View Post
    Yeah, that and HC parking really seem to really push some folks buttons. Like to the extreme. Me, I think that life is too short to perseverate on these complaints. I spend my time advocating for more access. You do what you can. But there will always be people who don't get it or who know and don't care.
    perseverate! You must be a terror at scrabble, that is the first word I have had to look up in a decade at least.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by offroaderswife View Post
    I just roll in to the door as if I'm opening it and didn't know anyone was in there. They can clearly see my wheels under the door and usually hurry and come out with apologies. I just say oh it's ok, I'm sure you needed it. Nothing else you can do.

    I think this is really good. McDuff's method is another option.

    While it doesn't really improve the immediate situation, it will provide a memory for the wayward person that may change future behaviors.

    I have also been given dirty looks by a wheelchair user and her husband while waiting for my mother, who was in the accessible separate bathroom. My mom was suffering from pancreatic cancer and couldn't sit or stand without using the grab bars in the toilet. She was also very weak in the arms, as her cancer had spread to the spine. But if you "looked" at her... she just looked like an AB once she was standing up. But sometimes I had to go into the bathroom to "rescue" her, and would stand close by in case she called out.

    So while I was waiting for my Mother, the woman using a wheelchair and her husband rolled right up to me and just stared at me, shaking their head, sighing, and complaining to each other. I tried to say... "My mother is very weak... she is very sick..." but honestly, what can you say in this awkward brief interaction. It's not like I can pull out her MRI for them to see... And of course, I have felt their frustration before when I am with my para father.

    It really made me feel bad.... Kinda sucked.

    But I never forgot it!

  3. #13
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hlh View Post
    I think this is really good. McDuff's method is another option.

    While it doesn't really improve the immediate situation, it will provide a memory for the wayward person that may change future behaviors.

    I have also been given dirty looks by a wheelchair user and her husband while waiting for my mother, who was in the accessible separate bathroom. My mom was suffering from pancreatic cancer and couldn't sit or stand without using the grab bars in the toilet. She was also very weak in the arms, as her cancer had spread to the spine. But if you "looked" at her... she just looked like an AB once she was standing up. But sometimes I had to go into the bathroom to "rescue" her, and would stand close by in case she called out.

    So while I was waiting for my Mother, the woman using a wheelchair and her husband rolled right up to me and just stared at me, shaking their head, sighing, and complaining to each other. I tried to say... "My mother is very weak... she is very sick..." but honestly, what can you say in this awkward brief interaction. It's not like I can pull out her MRI for them to see... And of course, I have felt their frustration before when I am with my para father.

    It really made me feel bad.... Kinda sucked.

    But I never forgot it!
    In one of my previous lives, one of my duties was to manage the numerous parking lots at a State Capitol Complex. Most of the spots were rented to employees on a monthly basis. The most convenient spots were assigned first by influence and second to people with temporary or permanent disability. The second category had to present medical proof of their need. Both by personal knowledge of a person's situation and by examining the medical evidence, I learned of a great many people who had a legitimate claim to need an accommodation yet showed no outward sign of disability. It's made me more cautious of leaping to a judgment of other's needs.
    Last edited by Foolish Old; 05-10-2013 at 10:56 AM.
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

  4. #14
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by t8burst View Post
    perseverate! You must be a terror at scrabble, that is the first word I have had to look up in a decade at least.
    So, if that word gets you over in the next big money scrabble game you're in, break off a little sumpin' for a brother.
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

  5. #15
    Senior Member McDuff's Avatar
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    Yeah HLH, you are right, I am waiting for the day that a true dis, just not a wheeler, comes out of the stall and gives me dirty looks or chews me out. Even if it is just a senior who needs the bars, and I'll feel like a turd.

    But I'm almost 10 yrs in, and have yet to see anybody but an AB in there. bastards
    "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by McDuff View Post
    When I roll in, if I see feet under the door, I say "wheelchair in the house, handicap stall get a move on". If they don't make any headway, I roll up to the door and sit there the rest of the time, you'd be amazed how many people can't shit when I'm sitting at their door.
    This is good!
    T6 complete (or so I think), SCI since September 21, 2003

  7. #17
    Never really bothered me. I just think that maybe the AB stall or stalls were occupied when they came in. When I was AB and had to crap really bad I would not hesitate to use the handicap stall if it was the only one available. Dang when you gotta go you gotta go.

  8. #18
    Not all handicap people are on wheels while I would not qualify for a handicap parking spot and I would never use one and am grateful for that I do require the larger handicap bathroom since I self catheterize.

    Only once have I ever encounted anyone waiting for that bathroom and they were snarky but then again I get snarky too.

    My point is that while I look like I am in the wrong place I'm not.

  9. #19
    Senior Member brian's Avatar
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    If you're a dude use a urinal. Life's too short for modesty and shame.

    Quote Originally Posted by brian View Post
    The great thing about extender tubes is that you can use urinals if some jackass is in the HC stall. Yeah, you're a little more exposed, but I threw my sense of shame out the window years ago. If people want to watch me shove a tube up my dick that's their problem.
    Quote Originally Posted by brian View Post
    It was born out of necessity: I really had to pee but some douche was in the HC stall and I was faced with a decision: use the urinal or use my pants. I chose to use the urinal and it changed my life.

    It was weird the first handful of times, but I got used to it pretty quick. If anything, it's a reminder to anyone else in the room of what happens when the HC stall is being occupied by someone who doesn't need it. Guys come out of the HC stall while I'm at the urinal and sometimes mutter "sorry" as they exit. Once I was at a urinal and some guy finished in the HC stall, came out, saw me and stopped cold, and then he ran out of the restroom without washing his hands. Ew.
    But I bet it was the last time he used that stall.

  10. #20
    I think the main reason ABs use the handicapped stall is because of the space and mainly for the sense of better sanitation/cleanliness, since by definition they are/should be used by fewer people.

    When I was AB and had to do No. 2, I would almost always use the HC stall. But then again, I did not know what an inconsiderate prick I was being.

    I dont buy all this info about invisible handicaps using stalls and parking spaces. Maybe 1 in a hundred that may be the case, and that one case is not the one that has many of us pissed off. The overwhelming majority of the time it is outright abuse. We have cameras everywhere now, maybe we can have cameras in the freaking parking spots, or a reporting mechanism with the resources in place to follow up on them. After all, they will be collecting bucketfulls of money from the fines.
    T6 complete (or so I think), SCI since September 21, 2003

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