Despite high intelligence, relatively good health & doing all her own personal care since her accident in '08, my paraplegic 24-yo daughter does not deal with bowel /urine accidents. She seems unaware of the problem & is not bothered by piles of clothing/bedding/towels with urine/feces in them, often leaves them for weeks in her room... only cleans it up when confronted by /forced to by other family members. There is urine/feces on her floors, bed, boxspring, toilet, etc. even after she 'cleans'. She leaks urine around the house, in her car, at restaurants, etc., leaves puddles in public & doesn't seem to notice. When she does do her laundry there are often turds left in the washer & dryer.

I (& other family members) have helped her clean her room /laundry /car dozens of times in the 5 yrs since her accident. I'm a CNA/caregiver (she was too before the accident). I have to point out to her the urine /feces that she doesn't 'see' (or smell) She has not kept herself or her room clean on a consistent basis since the accident. She simply quits doing anything about it, never mentions it, never even acknowledges that she's gone thru all her pads & bedding & is -once again- sleeping on a bare mattress soaked with urine, with a horrible smell coming from her room.

This is a serious problem that is only getting worse. She is very defensive when the subject is mentioned, will retreat to her room and not come out for days (except after everyone's gone to bed). If any of us come in there to talk to her, or begin to clean, or just offer to help, she reacts with anger & crying, & says 'no, I'm taking care of it'.

The entire family is at our wit's end. I feel we're enabling her every time we clean up after her or ignore the messes she leaves. Advice, comments, suggestions PLEASE.